The FBI: Corruptus In Extremis

The long-awaited Inspector General’s report was officially released yesterday, and it is a damning indictment of the FBI’s corruption, and the corruption of its leadership and its agents.

An FBI agent who worked on the special counsel’s Russia probe texted another investigator in August 2016 that “We’ll stop” Donald Trump from getting elected president, according to Thursday’s watchdog report on the FBI’s investigation of Hillary Clinton’s private email server.

Strzok, who worked in a senior role on the Clinton email investigation before joining the staff of the special counsel, reportedly wrote to Page, an attorney, that the two would stop the president from being elected.

“[Trump is] not ever going to become president, right? Right?!” Page, who also worked on Mueller’s staff, responded.

“No. No he won’t. We’ll stop it,” Strzok texted back.

Agents within the Bureau knew Hillary Clinton was guilty, and possessed evidence to back up the claims. Instead of conducting a full investigation, they covered up the crimes and whitewashed the entire incident. Don’t believe me? Read the evidence in the agents’ own words…

Speaking of Hillary, guess who infiltrated her emails?

“Foreign actors” obtained access to some of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s emails — including at least one email classified as “secret” — according to a new memo from two GOP-led House committees and an internal FBI email.

One of the local talk show hosts made a brilliant point; thank god Donald Trump won the presidency, because had he lost, we would never know how corrupt the FBI has become, from top to bottom. Hillary’s loss illuminated this scandal, which effectively taints the Mueller investigation, and all the “evidence” which sprung from it.

Many conservative talking heads are continually saying the FBI hierarchy is corrupt, but the rank and file are hard working professionals who respect the Constitution. That’s bullshit. Where were these “professionals” when these crimes were being committed? When were these professionals banging on the doors of Congress demanding to be heard? (And no, that lone report claiming agents wanted to testify was little more than cover.) To wit

A bombshell inspector general report released Thursday revealed that several FBI employees improperly received gifts from reporters, in connection with possible leaks of sensitive information.

Although public details of these exchanges are scant, they could constitute prosecutable violations of federal gift-giving rules.

The gifts in question included “tickets to sporting events, golfing outings, drinks and meals, and admittance to nonpublic social events.”

I’ll go where the talking heads won’t: in my opinion, every member of the FBI, from the director to the clerk typist is guilty of either bias, corruption, or both. I will hold that stance until individual agents prove me wrong. I won’t hold my breath.

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Driving This Crazy

A Michigan man made fast friends with his local police department after leading officers on a prolonged, drunken pursuit.

Officers from the Sumpter Township Police Department responded to a report of an intoxicated motorist at 9:45 p.m., Monday June 11, in the area of Sumpter Road near Willow Road. When they spotted the vehicle it fled southbound.

The fleeing motorist, a 44-year-old Allen Park man, crossed into Washtenaw County, where he fired at the pursuing officers at least five times. The pursuit continued until it reached the city of Milan border, south of Ann Arbor, where the driver “doubled back” and crashed into a patrol car.

The man was arrested and taken to the Wayne County Jail to await charges. Five firearms and several thousands of rounds of ammunition were recovered from the man’s vehicle.

The guns and ammo are easily explained away; dude just wanted to make sure the local Tim Horton’s got his breakfast order right.

She’s A Cheeky B*tch

A woman was arrested after creating an ingenious method for transporting her filthy little urchins.

Cell phone video taken by a concerned citizen in southwest Tennessee shows a woman releasing her two grandchildren from dog kennels in the back of her trunk.

Leimome Cheeks, 62, has been arrested and charged on two counts of child endangerment for the disturbing incident that took place in Memphis on Saturday.

The children told authorities that Cheeks claimed there wasn’t enough room for them to sit safely in a seat.

The kids also complained they were hot during the drive, while being kept in a confined space in the trunk. They said Cheeks didn’t have air conditioning on and kept the windows closed.

Now before we overreact, let’s consider how many of us thought about doing the exact same thing. I’m guessing the number would represent a majority of us. Of course, I would never put my kids into dog kennels; those are entirely too good for my monsters. No, I’m thinking along the lines of birdcages.

The Gentleman’s Game

The sleepy town of Edmond, Oklahoma was the scene of a donneybrook at the Kickingbird Golf Course, when a solo golfer asked to play through a group of four men.

The single, a 55-year-old man, told police that when he approached the group and asked to play through, one of the members of the foursome, 67-year-old Eddie Aday took exception, telling the victim he worked at the course, which the victim didn’t care about. They then got into an argument, and the victim claims Aday got ‘nose-to-nose’ with him. The victim, a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, took a step back because he gets very nervous when other are in his personal space. When Aday approached him again, things turned violent.

“It escalated to the point that the victim was being hit in the head with a putter and the top of his head and the front of the head, and then another member of that foursome hit him from behind,” said Jenny Wagnon of the Edmond Police Department.

To make matters worse, another member of the foursome, 72-year-old William Hickman, joined in on the donnybrook and began hitting the victim on his buttocks and legs.

Mr. Aday scores a hole in one… in the single golfer’s skull. From the looks of things, Kickingbird is the only thing which didn’t happen to this poor bastard; he was certainly kicked everywhere else.

For Whom The Booth Tolls

Residents in a British town are celebrating the “hero” who burned down the local tool booth.

A mystery arsonist has been praised a ‘hero’ after an ‘ancient’ tollbooth which only charged drivers 12p burnt down overnight.

Townsfolk in Warburton, Trafford and Rixton, Warrington, were over the moon to learn the hated Warburton bridge tollbooth had been destroyed in a blaze.

Tailbacks caused by the bridge, which links the two villages, were so bad children had to do their homework in cars as the waited in horrendous queues.

I’m so jealous. My lifelong dream is to burn down the tool booths of the Pennsylvania Turnpike and the Garden State Parkway! It’s probably safe to say the local bobbies will be placing this investigation into the (burning) circular file.

Mississippi Genes

A Mississippi woman decided to cure her boredom by stealing a vehicle, and leading police on a lengthy pursuit. Eventually believing she was about to be overtaken, her brain directed her to the greatest hiding spot in the state.

That was the case Tuesday evening when a woman reportedly led authorities on a chase through Lafayette County, Mississippi.

The Oxford Police Department shared details of the chase at 8 p.m. on Twitter.

“In the world of ‘can’t make this stuff up’: Stolen vehicle pursuit starts out in the county,” the account posted. “Suspect drives to our PD parking lot, bailed out on foot, ran into our lobby, and tried hiding in the lobby bathroom. Just another Tuesday in law enforcement.” (H/T – Loki)

My first instinct was to make a snide remark about Mississippi, and the south, in particular. But, since a university in Alabama is looking at Kyle for their lacrosse program, I’ll hold my tongue.

Cable Guy!

Meet Mildred Newsome.

Mildred enjoys the finer things in life; warm, sunny days, cable television, oral sex

A North Carolina woman is facing charges after she forced a cable repairman to let her perform a sex act on him, police said.

Mildred Newsome, 47, of Fayetteville, was arrested Saturday after an investigation into the man’s accusations following an April 20 repair call at her apartment, Fayetteville police Sgt. Shawn Strepay told The Post.

“The cable guy was there to work on her on box…”

Bawahahahahahahahahahaha, I’m dying! The woman didn’t want her cable fixed; she wanted his cable.

“…and while waiting for it to reset as he was sitting on a couch, she came over, grabbed his hand and forcefully placed his hand on her own breast,” Strepay said. The unidentified technician, in his 30s, tried to resist Newsome’s “unwanted sexual advance,” but she persisted and performed oral sex on him.

Normally I would snark, “Yeah, I’m sure he hated every minute of it,” but since you could put Mildred’s face in some dough and make gorilla cookies, I’m guessing the sex was truly unwanted.

Muddying The Waters

California Representative Maxine “Aunt Esther” Waters has been funneling campaign funds to her daughter for alleged “professional services.”

Democratic California Rep. Maxine Waters is paying her daughter more than $100,000 in campaign funds this election cycle, according to Federal Election Commission (FEC) filings reviewed by The Daily Caller News Foundation.

Citizens for Waters has already paid $42,862 to the congresswoman’s daughter, Karen Waters, since the beginning of 2017, FEC files show. The campaign is scheduled to pay the younger Waters another $65,000 for her “professional services” working on a “slate mailer,” according to the most recent FEC files.

Liberal watchdog group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) named the California Democrat one of the “most corrupt” members of Congress in 2011.

Waters is the poster child for term limits – and birth control – but sadly, American law enforcement refuses to prosecute criminals if they reside in Washington, D.C.

Oh Darwin, You So Crazy

Meet Georgia Cassidy of Liverpool, England.

Georgia was a popular beautician in the area, but if her customers want a new ‘do, they’ll have to travel a lot further north.

Georgia Cassidy, described in court as a “much loved daughter and family member”, was in a car with her boyfriend when they were stopped in a random police check on Gorsey Lane in Kirkby, an inquest in to her death was told.

The hearing was told Georgia, 19, “concealed a bag of cocaine in her mouth” shortly before the police stop.

The police found nothing suspicious during the check and the car was allowed to drive away soon after. Georgia suffered from a serious seizure later the same day, however, in the car park of The Punchbowl pub in Sefton Village.

While obviously tragic, the reactions to this are amusing. Everyone from her friends to the coroner are mourning this “tragic accident.” Hey limeys, willingly placing a bag of cocaine into your mouth so you don’t get arrested is not an accident. Georgia is dead because she was stupid. Full. Stop.

There’s Plenty Of Protein In Cupcakes

Four former students from The Gilbert School in Winchester, Connecticut were arrested after, um, “tainting” cupcakes served at the location.

A yearlong probe into complaints about cupcakes being tainted with bodily fluids at The Gilbert School in Winchester has resulted in the arrest of three former students and a current student.

Police said they issued juvenile summonses to the suspects — who police declined to identify — charging them with being involved in a plot to commit a sex act and put bodily fluids into cupcakes at the high school last year.

Two male and two female suspects surrendered voluntarily nearly a year after the incident, Chief William Fitzgerald Jr. said Monday. They were charged with fourth-degree sexual assault, conspiracy to commit fourth-degree sexual assault and second-degree breach of peace.

On a related note, I have just crossed off cream-filled cupcakes from my list of favorite foods.