Old Yeller

Today is Earth Day. As it happens, it is also my birthday; or possibly my bEarthday. I have taken yet another miserable, trudging step toward fifty. Since I rarely promote this loathsome event – and since no one remembers it anyway – I’ve decided to give myself a few gifts. Namely, more fabulous babes!

The phrase, “blondes, brunettes, and redheads” is inverted from my point of view. Redheads FTW!

As is the case every year, I am gleefully at my desk today, instead of home lying around in my underwear.

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He Is Risen!

Today is Easter, the holiest day of the Christian calendar.

On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them.

In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ” Then they remembered his words. – Luke 24: 1-8

I hope you all have a happy, healthy, peaceful day.

Happy Birthday Kari!

Today is my good friend Kari’s birthday!

You may know Kari from her blog, but my family knows her as my friend Kevin’s wife, our lovely Arizona hostess, and one fantastic Marine mom.

Kari and I helped each other through some terrible times; most notably during Kevin’s heart surgery. She is a decent, kind-hearted woman who not only treats the wife and I very well, but treats our children like gold. She is a member of our family, and my son Kevin’s godmother.

We don’t know what we would do without her.

In celebration of her special day, I’ve added a few photos of her favorite guy – New York Rangers goaltender Henrik Lundqvist – below the fold.

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Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Today is Saint Patrick’s Day; an opportunity for those of Irish descent – and those faking Irish descent – to attend parades, eat nasty meals, and drink until they literally urinate themselves.

In case you have not picked up on the hints, I am not very fond of my Irish roots.

However, I am fond of redheads, Irish accents, Guinness beer, and redheads. Did I mention redheads?

If today is your holiday of choice, have a terrific time. That said, remember this is St. Patrick’s Day… on a Friday. The drunkards will be out in droves, so if you’re drinking, pick a designated driver.

If you are the designated driver, watch out for other drunken idiots on the highways and byways.


Happy Birthday Kevin!

Kevin TarantulaToday is my youngest son’s ninth birthday!

Kevin is our Krav Maga star and our computer genius. When he was four, Kevin somehow managed to access the volume icon on our desktop, and change its name from “Speakers” to “Kevin.” That same year, he went on to Mrs. Earp’s Facebook, typed the word “Poop,” and pressed enter. Apparently her status was “poop” for a while before she figured out what he had done.

Now he goes on a website called Scratch and edits YouTube videos and other internet GIFs. In short, he knows more about computers than I do.

Kevin is fearless – hence the photo of him holding a tarantula – and says whatever is on his mind, which is not always a good thing. When the house next door was up for sale, and old Russian couple came to see it. Kevin said hello to them several times, and when they refused to acknowledge him, he yelled, “Jerks!” Life with Kevin is always interesting.

So today we will be celebrating our favorite Valentine’s Day gift, and enjoying chicken for the second night in a row. Kevin’s birthday dinner choice is chicken tenders.

happy birthday Kevin! We love you.

(Thus ends the Earp clan’s three-birthdays-in-six-days extravaganza.)

Happy Birthday Erik!

erik-ujsl-all-star-gameToday is my middle son’s thirteenth birthday; an event fills me with both pride and dread. I now have two moody teenagers in the house, and only enough horse tranquilizers for me and Kyle. ( I crush the pills and sprinkle them into his Mello Yello.)

The stereotype contends the middle child is often overlooked, and sometimes lags behind siblings in school and in social situations. With Erik, nothing could be further from the truth. He consistently brings home either first or second honors, is the school band’s lead drummer, and is one of the best soccer players on his team.

Yes, he can be socially awkward, but that’s in our family DNA. Erik does have many friends, and – thankfully – is an outside child who spends most of his time riding his scooter or bike, playing soccer, or bouncing on the trampoline. Our only worry with him is he is always sick in the winter. Always. Colds, coughs, stomach issues; you name it he has it from October through February. You would think someone as active as he is would be in great health, but sadly, that’s not always the case.

Maybe it’s from the house mold I refuse to clean? Oh well.

Since I am stuck working tonight, I will not be able to partake in his birthday dinner – pancakes, obvs – but hopefully he will have an enjoyable day. Happy birthday Erik. We love you.

Happy Birthday Mrs. Earp!


Today is my wife officially reaches her mid-40’s; an achievement I can celebrate because I am three years older than she is.

As you know, while you guys can come and go as you please, Mrs. Earp has to put up with my sarcastic, manic depressive attitude 24/7. She does so without complaint, and in almost twenty years of marriage – almost twenty-five if you count when we were dating – she has never punched me in the face. I believe that speaks volumes to her patience and understanding.

Mrs. Earp has yet to decide her birthday dinner, but it will involve going out… because I am a lousy cook.

Today also begins the Earp Clan’s whirlwind of parties, with three birthdays in six days.

Oh, before you ask, this is her college graduation photo, which I think is one of her best. (Plus, all the photos we have of the two of us make me look either like a New Wave 80’s reject, or a beached whale.)

Happy birthday, Mrs. Earp. I love you.

Leave A Message At The Tone… Uh, “Tone”

answering-machineWell, this may shock you, but I’m home sick today. (I know, I’m usually the picture of health.) Anyway, Mrs. Earp had to call the kids’ school and got the answering machine. The message said the office would be closed for the national holiday.

Um, what? I looked online to make sure my memory wasn’t getting any worse, when I found out today is National Inane Answering Machine Day.

Many people look at the title of this day and think ….huh!!? Some people think its a typo, and the day should read “National Insane Answering Message Day”. However, it actually and truly is “National Inane Answering Message Day”.

We all get them on our answering machines. An inane message is a senseless or meaningless message, or a prank call. Or, it could be an insane message. So, National Inane Answering Message Day is a day to end those numerous, annoying inane answering machine messages.

And yes, this holiday no one ever heard of is actually copyrighted. I would participate, but none of my message would be better than any of these…

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Is It Over?

someecards-christmasBy some strange, wonderful miracle, I survived another Christmas. Believe me, at times there were severe doubts I would make it through the entire day.

Kevin was the first to wake up. He did so at 5:30am, and gleefully ran into our room to wake us up. Again, at 5:30AM! Ever the professional parent, she shooed the boy back to his room with specific orders not to come back until 7am. We both tried to mutter ourselves back to sleep, but were not very successful.

At 7AM, Kevin and Julia ran in to the room singing about how Santa came and left a ton of presents. It was still too early for me, but our rule is 7am, so we let them climb into bed with us until Kyle and Erik woke up. Mercifully, that occurred at 7:30…

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