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The former boyfriend of Olivia Newton-John has allegedly been spotted in Mexico, a dozen years after reportedly drowning at sea.

Wow, how annoying must Newton-John be for a guy to fake his own death?

Olivia Newton-John’s ex-boyfriend, who vanished 12 years ago during a fishing trip, was reportedly spotted alive in Mexico.

Patrick McDermott, a cameraman from the U.S., vanished after a fishing trip on June 30, 2005. The Coast Guard concluded in 2008 that McDermott “most likely drowned.”

However, Dateline and America’s Most Wanted believed McDermott disappeared to avoid paying money he owed, including thousands in child support. New Idea reported a picture of a man at a Mexican campsite appeared to be McDermott.

“The widow’s peak is exact. The eyes are very similar and the ears extend down on the head in the same distance. I believe it’s him,” Charlie Parker, a private investigator, said.

Well, I guess if you’re going to fake your own demise, the best place to hide out is in Mexico. I mean, really, who ever volunteers to go to that fourth-world shithole?

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You Can’t Spell “Ratner” Without Rat

Hollywood’s biggest power brokers are toppling like dominoes, and hopefully, it’s a sign Tinseltown is finished. The latest alleged pervert is Brett Ratner; a terrible director and an even worse human being.

Natasha Henstridge was watching a movie on Brett Ratner’s couch when she fell asleep. She was a 19-year-old fashion model; he was an up-and-coming music video director in his early 20s. They had been hanging out in front of the TV with friends at his New York apartment.

But when Henstridge woke up, the others had left. She was alone with Ratner. She got up to leave, Henstridge said, but he blocked the doorway with his body and wouldn’t budge. He began touching himself, she said, then forced her to perform oral sex.

“He strong-armed me in a real way. He physically forced himself on me,” she said. “At some point, I gave in and he did his thing.”

This story bothers me more than the Weinstein or Spacey allegations because I have always been a fan of Henstridge. Yeah, I make jokes about banging babes like a screen door in a hurricane, but forcing yourself on a woman is a despicable move; especially when the woman is a teenager.

Lisa Spoonauer, 1972-2017

While looking for a photo of yesterday’s first post – a screen capture from the brilliant film, Clerks – I saw a photo of one of the film’s actresses, Lisa Spoonauer. The photo was captioned with a death notice, and apparently Spoonauer passed away in May at the age of 44. The news has made a terrible week even worse.

Lisa Spoonauer, the star of the 1994 cult classic Clerks who died at the age of 44 on May 20, passed away from an accidental overdose of a painkiller.

The actress, who was suffering from cancer, anemia, lung disease, and immune deficiency at the time of her death, died of acute and chronic intravenous use of hydromorphone, a generic brand of the narcotic painkiller Dilaudid, the Ocean County Medical Examiner in New Jersey determined.

Awful, simply awful. I was given Dilaudid during my appendectomy and last year’s abdominal surgery. It’s awesome, but it is very dangerous. With all her maladies, I cannot fault Lisa for doing what she could to relieve the pain, but this is such a loss. Spoonauer was brilliant in Clerks, as well as crazy stupid hot. Hopefully, she is now at peace.

By the way, if you have never seen the film, I wholeheartedly recommend Clerks. I recommend this as a movie buff, and not necessarily because my classmates claimed this is how my friend Brian and I ran the deli where we used to work. (Although we once played hockey inside the deli, not on the roof, like they did in Clerks.)

James And The Giant Screech

Jimmy Kimmel, unfortunately, still has a late-night “variety show,” but that assignment is being put on the back burner thanks to Jimmy’s real job – social justice warmongering. The good news is no one cares about his insipid political posturing. The bad news is, like most of Hollywood, Jimmy is a hypocrite.

After he spoke out so forcefully on both health care and gun control over the past month, many late-night viewers might have expected Jimmy Kimmel do the same about the sexual harassment and assault allegations against Harvey Weinstein….

“First of all, the Harvey Weinstein thing, people like this false equivalence of that’s somehow equivalent to what happened in Las Vegas,” Kimmel added, arguing that the alleged assault of dozens of women does not deserve the same reaction as the killing of nearly 60 people. He said that Weinstein is “not a friend of mine,” adding, “I’m not in the movie business.” As a once and future Oscar host who is friends with many of the movie stars in Weinstein’s orbit, that claim is a hard one to buy.

“They’re saying that I’m calling myself the moral conscience of America, which I most certainly never did and most certainly never would.” (H/TAOSHQ)

No, the media and your leftist buddies called you that, and you reveled in the spotlight. Now one of your own is being investigated for sexual assault, and suddenly you have writer’s block? Interesting.

(Sorry about the sub-par posts lately, but the past few days have been riddled with exhaustion, work stress, and potential medical issues. I should be back to my former sarcastic self soon.)

Jimmy Kimmel, Hollywood Tough Guy

There are few people in this world who earn my contempt than Hollywood tough guys. You know the type; prissified beta males whose stunt doubles crush people on the big screen, then believe they are the ones doing the fighting. Jimmy Kimmel is not an action hero, but he is a pussy who talks big in front of the cameras. To wit:

On the Wednesday broadcast of his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel responded to criticism he has received for his controversial monologue Tuesday night where he ripped Republican Senator Bill Cassidy for using his name to push for the Cassidy-Graham Obamacare replacement proposal.

Did I miss Jimmy Kimmel’s promotion to healthcare expert/national scold? This assclown is worth millions, which means he has no problem affording the outrageous rates which accompany Obamacare. Some people make just enough money to be disqualified for Obamacare subsidies, but not enough to afford life-saving treatment. But hey, that’s not Jimmy Kimmel’s’ problem.

Kimmel, a fierce proponent of the healthcare law, received many rebuttals for his political statement notably FOX & Friends host Brian Kilmeade. Kilmeade called Kimmel a member of the “Hollywood elite” for “pushing” politics. Wednesday night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, the host set his aim at the FOX host and let loose.

Kimmel said the FOX host “kisses my ass like a little boy meeting Batman” whenever the two cross paths and claimed he is “dying” to be a member of the “Hollywood elite.” “I don’t get anything out of this, Brian, you phony little creep. Oh, I’ll pound you when I see you,” Kimmel threatened.

So the pussified Hollywood leftist who continuously calls for civility has no problems assaulting someone who disagrees with him? Interesting. Hey Jimmy, I think you should shut up and tell jokes, too. If you’d like to assault me for my disagreement, send me an email. I’m not hard to find. Pussy.

Just The Tips

Employees at Jessica Biel’s restaurant claim the bombshell is very tight, and not in a good way.

Jessica Biel has been accused of withholding nearly half a million in tips from employees at her kid-friendly Los Angeles restaurant. Nine employees at Au Fudge have filed a lawsuit against Biel and her four business partners, claiming that they never received tips that the restaurant charged clients for private events.

The group of disgruntled employees describe themselves as ‘young adults new to the workforce and new to Los Angeles’ who ‘were ill-prepared to deal with the violations of their rights in the workplace.’

According to court documents, Au Fudge charged a 22 per cent gratuity to clients who held private events at the West Hollywood eatery – but employees say that money was never passed down to them. The lawsuit claims that the ‘owners blamed the “glitch” on converting the private event gratuities to a single manager,’ but they say they still didn’t get the tips even after that manager was fired.

So I guess you can say Biel is… fudging the numbers. Bawahahahah, I kill me!

Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, And Dodge

Hollywood – the despicable place which houses despicable people who hate our guts – is seeing both box office receipts and theater stocks plummet.

And people say there is no good news in the world.

The largest chain, AMC Entertainment, with 11,083 screens in 1,009 theaters, has been hit hardest, its shares dropping a dramatic 45 percent since Memorial Day while the Dow Jones has gained nearly 4 percent. Regal Entertainment (7,379 screens in 566 theaters) has seen shares plunge 28 percent in the same time frame while shares of Cinemark (5,926 screens in 529 theaters) have dropped 18 percent.

Owners of Imax, which operates a network of 1,257 giant movie screens at theaters worldwide, watched their shares plunge 31 percent while owners of National Cinemedia, the company most responsible for putting advertising on movie screens, saw their shares shed 25 percent of their value since Memorial Day.

FBR Capital Markets analyst Barton Crockett predicts a domestic box office of $2.36 billion, which would be a 21 percent slide compared with the year prior.

I can proudly say I have not been to the movies at all in 2017, because I’m tired of funding people who despise me. The only film I had any interest in was Dunkirk, and I can see that when it hits the cable channels.

Two Decades Gone

Twenty years ago today, Princess Diana of Wales was killed in an auto accident inside a Paris tunnel.

For the record, I don’t see what all the fuss is about, but I figured I would be remiss in not at least acknowledging the anniversary here.

Sir Elton John has led tributes to Diana, Princess of Wales on the 20th anniversary of her death. The 70-year-old singer posted a picture on Instagram of the pair together, with his arm around the Princess writing: ’20 years ago today, the world lost an angel. RIP.’

Diana’s sons, the Duke of Cambridge and Prince Harry, have already paid tribute to their mother, visiting the floral tributes and pictures left at the gates of her former home, Kensington Palace.

I’ve always been a big fan of Queen Elizabeth because by all accounts she is a remarkable woman – arguing to serve England in WWII solidified that for me – and I’m a fan of Prince William, Harry, and Kate. In my opinion, the integrity skips a generation, since Prince Charles has always been a tool.

Like most people, I admired Diana – she was crazy stupid hot – and it’s a shame she died so young. That said, the unabashed hero worship puzzles me.

The Walking Dread

Regular readers know I am a big fan of The Walking Dead. I have seen every episode – many more than once – and consider it one of the best shows on television. For the most part, its actors keep to themselves, and don’t make asses of themselves on social media.

Until this week.

While many in Hollywood and elsewhere expressed outrage at Trump’s words on Tuesday, Jeffrey Dean Morgan was much more blunt in calling out the president for his resurrected insistence that “there is blame on both sides.” The actor made a particular point of spotlighting the effect Trump’s words and stance will have on children trying to make sense of their president’s POV:

Now call me a cockeyed optimist, but I thought all parents explain racism to their children when they are old enough to understand the concept. Little did I know parents are not allowed to broach that subject until a politician forces our hand.

Look Jeff – may I call you Jeff or will Jackass do? – throwing out F-bombs on Twitter may earn you street cred with your leftist buddies, but half the country sees you for what you are; an opportunist looking to ingratiate himself with the Antifa crowd.

Your infantile tantrum is nothing special or unique, and there is no need for me to continue wasting my time watching your series. The Walking Dead will now find a comfortable place alongside the NFL, You’re The Worst, and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. as programs I will no longer watch.

Do You Know The Way To Lana Rey?

Meet singer Lana Del Rey. I listed this woman’s profession because even though I have heard the name a hundred times, I literally had no idea who she is. Now that I have read a few stories about this bint, I sincerely wish Lana Del Rey was a beach in Saint-Tropez.

Lana Del Rey is proud of her attempt to put a hex on President Donald Trump.

“Yeah, I did it. Why not? Look, I do a lot of shit,” the 32-year-old New York native told NME on Friday. In February, Del Rey made headlines when she joined a large group in the witchcraft community to perform a “mass spell to bind Trump.”

While checking Lana’s Wikipedia page – the most trusted source in fake internet news – claims “she suffered from alcoholism at a young age…” Well, that explains it. Look honey, I realize you’re biter because God didn’t make you as pretty as Carrie Underwood or Katy Perry, but casting a spell on Donald Trump isn’t going to revive your failing career.

Maybe try porn?