Rocky Mountain High

Colorado, a state which is quietly catching California as the most batshit insane state in the union, has not only legalized marijuana, but is also ready to legalize texting and driving. What could possibly go wrong?

The electronic signs above Colorado highways offer a warning to drivers who reach for their cellphones: “New texting law fines increased to $300.”

It doesn’t mention texting while driving is now legal in Colorado as long as it isn’t done in “a careless or imprudent manner.”

The little-noticed provision softening the state’s standard is part of a new law that increased the penalties for a texting while driving carelessly citation from $50 to $300 and from one to four points on a driver’s license.

The state lawmakers who made the changes — and the law enforcement agencies that supported the move — argue the tougher penalties will deter texting while targeting the most dangerous drivers.

That’s a good point, because there are tough laws against homicide, aggravated assault and rape, and those crimes have been completely eradicated! Idiots.

No-Talent QB Searches For Relevance

Unemployed, mediocre quarterback Colin Kaepernick continued his futile search for relevance this weekend when he compared police officers to fugitive slave patrols.

NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick compared police officers to fugitive slave patrolmen after a Minnesota officer was acquitted in the shooting death of a black motorist.

Kaepernick tweeted his displeasure with the verdict, with a graphic reading “You can’t ignore your history – always remember who they are.” “A system that perpetually condones the killing of people, without consequence, doesn’t need to be revised, it needs to be dismantled,” Kaepernick wrote.

Always remember who Colin Kaepernick is; a race-baiting former quarterback who despises America.

Between the lines, a police badge is shown side-by-side with a “fugitive slave patrol” badge. Fugitive slave patrols were common in the antebellum South, watching for runaway slaves.

The difference between Kaepernick and most police officers – despite the obvious IQ points – is when a police officer does something idiotic/criminal, most cops attack them for it. The true irony is when an NFL player does something idiotic/criminal, they circle the wagons and blame someone else for the player’s criminality.

Warriors, Come Out And Play

The NBA’s Golden State Warriors are planning to snub a White House visit if one is offered by President Trump. It would be the first time an entire team skipped the event.

Don’t expect to see Donald Trump holding up a Golden State Warriors jersey anytime soon. A report surfaced hours after the Warriors beat the Cleveland Cavaliers in Game 5 of the NBA Finals that suggested the Warriors have no intention of carrying out a long-held tradition in professional American sports.

If the report is accurate, the Warriors would officially be the first men’s team to eschew the Trump White House, though others have found a way to avoid it as well.

Oh, please do this Warriors! No one gives a rat’s ass about the NBA or its thuggish players. Besides, half the team probably couldn’t pass a security check, so there’s no point in wasting everyone’s time.

Hmm, Who To Root For?

Here is a story guaranteed to start your day off with a smile. Leftist thugs from the Black Lives Matter movement stopped a leftist gay pride parade in its tracks this weekend, assuring smiles and giggles from sane Americans everywhere.

It’s always amusing when leftists eat their own.

The latest example came on Saturday, when activists from a group called No Justice, No Pride, shouting, “Hey, hey. Ho, ho. These racist cops have got to go,” blocked and stopped a gay pride parade in Washington D.C. Some of the activists who had been shouting “Black Lives Matter” chained themselves together using cables and locks to connect themselves across the route so that police could not remove them.

The No Justice, No Pride group issued a press release in which they stated, “DC’s queer and trans community is no longer willing to accept that Pride isn’t possible without support from deeply problematic corporate sponsors.” (H/TAOSHQ)

I’m old enough to remember when protesters hit the streets because they were down for the struggle, not because they were seeking a payday from Big Business. You’d think that Nazi collaborating piece of garbage George Soros would be able to keep the peace between his rival lunatic factions.

The Rainbow Of Hypocrisy

Liberals pride themselves upon their acceptance and inclusion of all persons, regardless of their race, creed, or color. They brag about their unconditional tolerance, and decry their opponents as divisive and hateful.

The reality, however, is the exact opposite of what liberals preach.

Brian Talbert said he and a fellow gay republican sent in an application to Charlotte Pride so they could have a float in this year’s Charlotte Pride Parade.

“It was going to be fun. We wanted to be energetic. We wanted to show that we weren’t the racist, bigot; misogynistic…We wanted to show that we are Americans, love our country and our president. We wanted to be there to celebrate gay pride. Everything fell into place except being able to celebrate who I am,” he said.

Talbert said Charlotte Pride sent him an email denying his application for a float.

A spokesperson for the organization said in written statement, “Charlotte Pride reserves the right to decline participation at our events to groups or organizations which do not reflect the mission, vision and values of our organization, as is acknowledged in our parade rules and regulations by all groups at the time of their parade application. In the past, we have made similar decisions to decline participation from other organizations espousing anti-LGBTQ religious or public policy stances.

There is no evidence Talbert espouses any of these stances. On the contrary, Talbert wants to participate in the parade to quell these racist stereotypes, and that’s a problem for the liberal LGBTQ community. So they denied Talbert’s permit, because, ironically, the LGBTQ community acts exactly like the people they claim to despise.

Personally, I think Talbert should file a lawsuit to force Charlotte Pride to accept his application. If a Christian business can be forced into baking a gay wedding cake, Charlotte Pride can be forced to admitting a conservative float.

The Treason For The Season

Meet Reality Winner. (Yes, that is her real name.) This stupid twat was just hit with the reality that she will be the winner of the Treason Sweepstakes. The grand prize is – hopefully – an evening in front of a firing squad.

A criminal complaint was filed in the Southern District of Georgia today charging Reality Leigh Winner, 25, a federal contractor from Augusta, Georgia, with removing classified material from a government facility and mailing it to a news outlet, in violation of 18 U.S.C. Section 793(e).

Winner was arrested by the FBI at her home on Saturday, June 3, and appeared in federal court in Augusta this afternoon.

“Exceptional law enforcement efforts allowed us quickly to identify and arrest the defendant,” said Deputy Attorney General Rod J. Rosenstein….

Winner should be charged with treason, and spend the rest of her miserable life in federal pound-you-in-the-ass prison.

Oh, and by the way, this pig is a Bernie Sanders supporter and a part of the so-called “resistance” to President Trump. I sincerely hope the president doesn’t resist the urge to recommend a death sentence for this piece of garbage.

The Crying Game

Remember the good old days when women were empowered and slogans like “Girl Power!” were all the rage?

Well, those days are gone are gone forever, thanks to millennial feminists and their sad, weeping vaginas.

A feminist student group at the University of Mary Washington has filed a Title IX lawsuit against the institution for failing to protect them from mean comments on the internet.

Feminists United, a student group at the University of Mary Washington, has claimed in a recently filed lawsuit that the administration failed to protect them from posts made on the anonymous social media app, Yik Yak.

The students claim that the university’s decision to allow students to access the app via the school’s wifi network fostered a hostile environment in which the students were subjected to “overtly and/or sexist/threatening” anonymous messages.

So in seventy-five years, we’ve gone from Rosie the Riveter to “mean words make me cry?” Personally, I think someone should Yik Yak paddywhack and give these dogs a bone… right across the goddamn skull.

Jersey Bore

Students from a New Jersey middle school embarrassed themselves last week when many of them refused to take a photo with House Speaker Paul Ryan. Resistence, you see, is only acceptable against Republicans.

Eighth grade students from South Orange Middle School in South Orange, New Jersey were on a school trip to Washington D.C. on Friday when they were given a very special opportunity: a photo-op with Speaker Paul Ryan. Under normal circumstances, many students would leap for the chance to take a photo with the third most powerful politician in the country.

Not these kids.

Close to 100 8th graders refused to take a photo with the Speaker and instead sat in a parking lot across the street. Speaker Ryan then took a photo with the remaining class and posted it to his Instagram.

Regular readers know I don’t like Paul Ryan. In fact, I despise him. That said, snubbing someone who takes time out of their day to visit your group is a complete and utter dick move. Kyle went to Washington, D.C. during his eight grade class trip in 2015, and if he had a chance to take a photo with Barack Obama or even Harry Reid, I would insist he do so. It’s not about politics; it’s about respect for the office.

“I can’t take a picture with someone who supports a budget that would destroy public education and would leave 23 million people without healthcare,” Matthew Malespina, a student at the school, told his local newspaper, The Village Green.

Interesting. When I was in eighth grade, my only concerns were Star Wars, Atari games, and Betty Ann Rowan. This kid seems to be up-to-snuff with the political issues of the day. It almost seems like he was coached by someone…

Matthew Malespina’s mother, on the other hand, couldn’t have been more proud.

Of course she was. Imagine thinking so little of your children that you cannot trust them to form their own opinions.

History Repealing

Leftist New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu has ordered four Confederate monuments removed, claiming they do not represent “the diversity and future” of the city. It’s amusing how liberals only celebrate history which doesn’t make people feel uncomfortable.

The tense and often divisive removal of four Confederate-era monuments from prominent displays around New Orleans came to an end Friday as a crowd estimated at about 1,000 people watched while workers took down the iconic statue of General Robert E. Lee from atop a 60-foot column at Lee Circle.

The removal ended 133 years for the statue at the piece of land that connects New Orleans’ Uptown and Garden District areas with the CBD and French Quarter.

People have lost their goddamned minds. Robert E. Lee was a hero and a patriot long before the Civil War. The man served with honor, but will now disappear from the public view because a few snowflakes got a case of teh sadz.

“These men did not fight for the United States of America, they fought against it,” said Mayor Mitch Landrieu.

Really? Lee fought for the U.S. in the Mexican-American War, and spent thirty-two years in the U.S. Army; including a stint as the Superintendent of the Military Academy at West Point. P.G.T. Beauregard also fought in the Mexican-American War and spent twenty-three years in the U.S. Army. Jefferson Davis served in the American Indian Wars and the Mexican-American War and spent a dozen years serving in the U.S. Army. I guess Landrieu hides facts as well as monuments.

The Civil War was the bloodiest conflict in U.S. history. It was a horrible event which pitted brother against brother, and worse still, was completely unavoidable. (I lay much of the blame at the feet of President James Buchanan.) That said, suppressing the facts of the war does a disservice to those ignorant of the war’s horrors. History is ugly, but “protecting” people from it does more harm than good.

“A nation which does not remember what it was yesterday does not know where it is today.” – Robert E. Lee

They Were Glued To Their Radios

One of America’s preeminent learning institutions implemented a lockdown of their campus last week after a gunman was observed on the grounds. Wait til you get a load of this.

Colgate University officials warned that there was an armed person on campus and advised people to find a safe place. For several hours, the campus remained locked down.

Everyone was safe. There was no gunman, police later determined. But many students were angry when they learned the reason for the alarm: Someone called Colgate’s Campus Safety when they saw a black student who had a glue gun that he was using for a school project.

The incident reignited a debate over race at the private liberal-arts college.

Leave it to the Washington Post to completely miss the point. The problem here isn’t the race of the offender, you dolts; the problem is an entire university was shut down over a f**king glue gun.

I’ll bet the “gunman” also ran across the campus shouting, “Let’s get sticky!”