As many of you know, the past few months have been… trying. There was Kyle’s summer lacrosse tournaments and subsequent visits to college campuses, my heart palpitations, the hospital visit, and the ensuing heart monitor, and the prostate cancer scare.
The bacon bits sprinkled onto this crap salad has been the stress of Christmas, and the fact we are moving my mother into a residence this weekend because her memory is fading fast.
As a result, I have a few bad days interspersed between the good ones. By that I mean, there are some days where I feel the depression creeping back in. I am not at that threshold yet, but since I share pretty much everything here, I wanted to make a note of it.
While shopping Saturday, I stopped in the parking lot and cried for five minutes. I have no idea why, but I think it was the stress of the day. It was the only time in the last six months where I thought to reach for the Zoloft. I truly believe this is the culmination of my health problems, and I was never able to stop and take in all the bad news. That’s my m.o. – I hold things inside until the kettle boils, and when it does, I kinda lose it, emotionally.
I got past it, and for the most part I’m having many more good days than bad. I also know if it gets to be too much, I’m headed to the psychiatrist again.
The fact I haven’t been able to walk/jog for nearly two weeks because of the weather doesn’t help, either.
The reason I mention this is because I have been more or less scarce on the blog. I’ve been trying to respond to comments and such, but honestly, it hasn’t been a priority. Today is my last day before my two-week Christmas vacation, so I should be back to normal very soon.
Again, this isn’t a cry for help or sympathy; it’s to let you know I understand what’s going on inside my head and I am addressing it.