True Detective Stories

Occasionally I start these True Detective Stories with something along the lines of, “This doesn’t mean to be a bitch post…”

This post is exclusively a bitch post, so if you don’t feel like reading it, that’s cool.

Yesterday ended my two weeks of night work. As one of the pretty police officers downstairs always says, “Last day, best day.” Sadly, yesterday was nothing of the sort. I walked into the division at 2:40pm, and the floor was a ghost town. There was one detective left from the early shift, which was odd because there are usually a handful of detectives at that time of day.

I didn’t lose my mind about the lack of manpower, because screw them; if they want to run a skeleton crew, that’s on them.

Sadly, it was on us.

My desk was covered with paperwork from the early shift, which usually gets placed into their inbox. The only time we have to handle jobs from a previous shift is when they are priorities. Unluckily for me and my squad, there were three robbery reports on the desk. One of which was taken at 12:25pm, which was two and a half hours before my shift began. Where the f**k were the detectives, and how can they get away with leaving us three robberies which occurred on a different shift?

True Detective Stories

So the department’s commanders, in their truly finite wisdom, have decided there are entirely too many shootings and homicides in this city. No kidding?

Before I get to this ridiculous plan, some background. The city has not promoted detectives since 2019, and we are losing detectives every week from retirements, attrition, or outright resignations. My squad should have fifteen detectives, but we’re working with twelve. (Technically, we have eleven, because one detective is on military leave until January.) My squad averages twenty to forty jobs during an eight-hour shift, and we are in the busiest division in the city.

In short, we’re short. Every detective division in the city is in the same predicament.

This is what the commanders drummed up to stop the flow of violence. Detective Headquarters decided they would take detectives from the divisions and send them downtown to police HQ. When a non-fatal shooting occurs, these detectives would have to drive to different parts of the city, handle the shooting, and return to Police HQ to process the paperwork.

This is idiotic for three reasons. First, the divisional detectives are intimately familiar with the divisions where they work. Everyone knows where the hot spots are, and everyone knows who the bad guys are. Now, they’re sending detectives to different parts of the city, where they don’t know the lay of the land.

Second, the divisions are compartmentalized. A shooting comes in, the detective heads to the scene, and comes back to the division. The furthest district is maybe twenty-five minutes away, tops. Now, if you’re at Police HQ and you need to go to Northeast or Southwest Division, you’re looking at maybe an hour, one way.

Finally, this plan will decimate detective divisions. We’re already way too short to handle the insane amount of jobs we receive. Imagine how bad it will be when we lose half our detectives.

This department has made many terrible decisions in my twenty-eight years, but this is by far the dumbest idea they have ever imagined.

1,068 days.

True Detective Stories

So yesterday sucked.

Every Thanksgiving, we are always assured there would be someone from the shooting team and someone from domestics. This year? There were no shooting teams, and no domestic detectives.

I walked in and immediately the day work lieutenant approached me, which is never a good sign. He said there was a clusterf*ck coming in from one of the dumber districts. My squad was terribly short – three detectives in all – so manpower was a problem. Apparently, the cop stopped a stolen vehicle, and instead of recovering the vehicle, Super Cop decided to take out the occupants and search them. That’s kind of a no-no, but whatever.

While this genius searched the offenders, he left the key in his vehicle and forgot to put the vehicle into park. The patrol car started rolling, and struck a fire hydrant, causing serious damage.

The officer arrived – three hours after the he stopped the vehicle – and had a gun that he found after searching a juvenile. Again, kind of a no-no. We asked him why it took three f**king hours to being in the job, and he started giving us back-sass. My lieutenant arrived by then, and the cop back-sassed him, too. Not a good plan.

After talking to Super Cop, we found a few more details. The car he stopped was stolen out of Cheltenham, a town just north of Philly. Instead of holding the car, Super Cop called Cheltenham to recover the car, meaning the evidence was now in another jurisdiction. Oh, and did I tell you Super Cop did not initiate the car stop? Two of his coworkers did that, and they left early for Thanksgiving.

So the cops we needed to make a case left for the day, the car was returned to Cheltenham, and Super Cop’s report made no mention of the two arresting officers, the stolen car, and the stolen tag which was on the car that he never recovered.

I’m no detective, but I guarantee this entire case gets tossed at the preliminary hearing.

Oh, by the end of the day, we had this idiotic job, an armed robbery, three missing person reports, a guy who was shot at while driving his car, and many domestic cases. It was the busiest Thanksgiving I have ever worked, because the animals know nothing else.

True Detective Stories

There’s an officer in one of our districts who almost always brings in a gun arrest; at least one or two a week. The guy is personable enough, I guess, but I’m not a fan. Why? Because this clown always shows up with the arrest ten or fifteen minutes before our shift is up.

A firearms arrest used to be a twenty-minute job, but because our Soros-appointed D.A. demands we get a search warrant to swab every single gun we obtain, it takes about two hours, beginning to end. This cop – I’ll call him Baldo – also always takes a few hours to bring up his paperwork.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, Baldo always comes in with very sketchy stories. It’s never, “I was driving by and saw a man pull out a gun.” It’s always something like, “The car had heavy window tint, so we stopped the car, and totally didn’t search it illegally. Totes magotes!”

After enough of these shady stories, many of us in the division tried to tell Baldo stories like these were going to get him jammed up. We told him time and time again, and he ignored our advice.

Last week the department took Baldo’s gun, and is now under investigation by the D.A.’s office…

NYPD Officers Having Second Thoughts

A recent survey of New York City police officers found more than half of the department stated they would not have joined the force. I don’t work for the NYPD, but me sentiments are the same.

An internal New York Police Department survey of nearly 6,000 officers found that 56% of NYPD cops say they wouldn’t become a police officer if they had a chance to do it all over again, according to the New York Post.

I really wanted to go into law enforcement when I graduated college. I wanted Feds, but whatever. I loved the job for the first half of my career, but looking back, I wasted my life. Sure, the job helped pay the bills, and we live moderately comfortably, but I would have been better off in another career.

Any other career, actually.

When asked if they feel the public disrespects them, 46% of officers believed they are disrespected versus 42% who didn’t believe so. The officers were asked if the public distrusts them, and 44% agreed while 41% disagreed. There were 73% of police poll participants who said the public does not have a good relationship with the NYPD.

I’m actually surprised some of the numbers are so low. I figured most NYPD cops would have thought the disrespect and distrust numbers would much higher.

A whopping 80% of NYPD officers, detectives, sergeants, lieutenants, and captains are hesitant to aggressively fight crime because of the ramifications of criminal liability, being sued, or being unfairly disciplined.

This is true in most blue city police departments. In the last few weeks, the department has taken the guns of nearly forty police officers, and placed them on suspension. Why? Because their body cam video did not exactly match what the officers said on the stand in court. Most officers do not review the camera footage before court appearances, mostly because it’s a rushed proposition. When you arrive, the ADA talks to you and pushes you toward the stand.

So a few officers misstated a location or an action they performed – months ago, by the way – and the Soros-appointed District Attorney placed them on suspension. Because the D.A. despises the cops here, he will use all his might to make sure these officers are fired.

It’s defunding the police without having to say you’re defunding the police. The department’s bosses wonders why no one wants to do the job anymore, and yet, the answer is right in the mirror.

True Detective Stories

Friday evening was something else. The previous deskman left me twenty-one unassigned jobs, detectives and police officers were held late in case of any Rittenhouse riots – there were none – and, sadly, Diego was present.

None of those instances were nearly as annoying as the job two officers brought in.

So, two officers were downstairs by the cell room. They were getting ready to transport a prisoner to police headquarters for further processing. As they were leading the – cuffed – prisoner out to the wagon, the prisoner tried to steal an officer’s firearm.

While. He. Was. Handcuffed…

Google Is Not Your Friend

So last week the police commissioner sent out an email to all personnel, which came from the Delaware Valley Intelligence Center (DVIC). The email stated that the a-holes at Google are implementing two-step verification for all their properties. (Google Mail, Google Drive, Google Browser, etc.)

Included in the two-step verification will be a personal phone number which could jeopardize police investigations and sources. It will also be able to expose personal information of police personnel.

Open source information indicates that the access to any and all internet accounts/investigative tools which were created using a Google/G-mail account, including undercover and covert investigative tools, will be effected due to the Google two-step verification (2SV) rollout process. Furthermore, utilization of a personal phone number and/or email to resolve the 2SV rollout will pose a potential risk to personal information.

Throughout November and December 2021, Google will enroll users into a two-step verification (2SV) process in efforts to prevent unauthorized access to accounts and improve security. This will require that the phone number used to create the Google account will serve as a second step in the authentication process in order to log in.

I think Google knew this from the beginning. I also think their two-step verification has little to do with security and everything to do with collecting even more data from its customers. I wanted to post this because it’s not only police personnel who will be affected, but the country at large.

For their part, the DVIC recommended ditching Google and using Firefox as a primary browser.

The Chicago PD Is Despicable

Today’s posts are somewhat police-heavy, and for that I apologize, but all three of these stories are important enough to be posted on the same day. This story, sadly, if by far the worst of the three.

Remember Ella French, the Chicago police officer who was shot and killed in her first few years on the job? Well, you would think the despicable Chicago Police Department would let her rest in peace, but no, that trait is not combined in their collective DNA.

A civilian oversight agency for the Chicago Police Department last week released a report from its review of a February 2019 police raid, which recommended a three-day suspension for police officer Ella French, who was killed in August during a traffic stop.

President of the Chicago Fraternal Order of Police, John Catanzara, was upset with the Civilian Office of Police Accountability (COPA) for including French’s name following her death.

“This is the latest example of why that agency has zero credibility in the eyes of every CPD officer,” Catanzara told WGN. “We demand an apology immediately for the intentional harm caused to Ella’s family, friends and co-workers.”

Most big cities have civilian offices of accountability, and most of them are comprised of far-left clowns who hate the police. Ella is dead, so what good does it do to smear her name after she’s gone?

The COPA report reviewed the Feb. 21, 2019 police raid involving French, where Young, 50, was undressing for bed when police officers busted through her front door to execute a search warrant that was actually for a suspect living several houses away, according to Fox 32 Chicago.

Young was handcuffed before she could get dressed as police searched her home for the suspect.

Following French’s death, Young said French was the only officer who showed “dignity or respect,” as she removed the handcuffs and turned off her body camera to allow Young to get dressed, according to her lawsuit against the city.

So the woman who filed the lawsuit said the only person who treated her with respect was Ella French, and still the COPA, the Chicago P.D., and the city of Chicago still thought it was a good idea to drag Ella French’s name through the mud.

This is by far the most disgusting story I have ever read.

True Detective Stories

Allow me to regale you with a story about my good friend Diego. Obviously, Diego is not good, not a friend, and not named Diego in real life. He is, however, a pustule on the rear end of humanity.

One of the first things I do when I walk into work is check the court notice queue. Our Soros-installed DA has been sending unnecessary court notices to detectives, so they are stuck downtown all day instead or working on cases. It’s been their plan all along; if there are no cops or detectives working, chaos will reign.

Anyway, Diego the Idiot Detective receives court notices almost every day, and they are usually cited as “Must Be Tried”(MBT). We assume he gets so many notices because he’s a screw-up, and he needs to appear in person to explain his idiocy. Anyway, he had two court notices Friday morning. One was for a stolen auto – which was not MBT – and another was a gun arrest, which was MBT.

I always check Diego’s notices because he uses the occasion to stay downtown all tour so he doesn’t have to actually work. When I checked the gun notice, I noticed something rather strange. Diego received the notice on August 24th, but the notice was canceled on October 20th. By this time it was 7:15am, and Diego still wasn’t in the office…

True Detective Stories

Before we begin, I want you to know this is not a pity post. At all. I am posting this story because I wanted to give you a glimpse inside the minds of many – not all – of the people with whom I work.

We were moderately busy yesterday. Twenty jobs in all, including a carjacking and a few domestic assaults. We had three detectives in court – including Diego – and seven detectives on the floor. I was catching up on the previous day’s assignments and doling them out to the squad.

At one point an irate caller kept me on the phone for nearly half an hour claiming that his mother’s death – allegedly of Covid – was a homicide. When I told him that was more of “get a lawyer” than “Call Homicide” – since she died in August – he told me I’m a terrible detective and I hate black people.

It was my last day, so you can see what kind of tour it was from my perspective…