Thursday was an interesting tour. We ended the day with seven people shot, including four people at one location. Earlier in the day, we had the extraordinary pleasure of meeting a woman who told the most incredible story of all time.
And by “incredible,” I mean absolutely, provably not credible.
The middle-aged woman comes to the district window downstairs to make a robbery report. The woman claimed, get this, she was robbed in April, and just decided to report the crime Thursday – two months after the alleged incident.
Wait, it gets better.
The woman claimed she received a check from a lawsuit for $15,000, and instead of cashing it at, say, a bank, this MENSA member took it to a check cashing place in the ‘hood. Einstein claims the check cashing place gave her FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH from the check, placed it into an envelope and sent her on her merry way.
So, the woman was just walking down the street minding her own bidness, when an unknown black male approached her, pulled out a handgun, and took the $15,000. Interestingly, the alleged robber did not take the woman’s cell phone, wallet, or credit cards; just the cash.
When asked if she could provide a description of this dastardly offender, she replied, “He was a black male with a ski mask on.” Wow, that is out-f**king-standing!
The assigned detective assured this
bullshitter victim that we would have top men working on her case right now. Top. Men.