Because, Oakland

Alameda County, which contains the awful city of Oakland, has banned “wild cow milking” in their county. They haven’t done anything about the murders, robberies, or rapes, but from here on out, you can’t milk a wild cow.

Alameda County supervisors voted Tuesday to ban the rodeo practice of wild cow milking in unincorporated parts of the county following hours of public comment and discussion.

Wild cow milking is just as the name suggests. A two-man team tries to get milk from a cow turned loose in an arena, as defined by the West of the Pecos Rodeo in Pecos, Texas.

Damn, I was really excited to milk that fat cow Ana Navarro.

The Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association, known as the world’s oldest and largest sanctioning body for rodeos, does not include wild cow milking as a sanctioned event at its rodeos.

They do, however, occasionally allow a cowboy to milk some of the hot girls in the stands.

Thanks to The Pirate’s Cove for the link!

China Places Cameras In Toilet Stalls

A Chinese lithium battery manufacturer has placed cameras in the organization’s bathroom stalls to monitor their employees during bathroom breaks. That sounds like a crappy thing to do.

A Chinese company has come under fire for installing surveillance cameras above the toilet booths so it could monitor employees during their toilet breaks.

In the past, we’ve written about companies that cut employee salaries for spending too much time in the toilet, others that fined workers for using the toilet more than once a day, and even a company that installed timers on its toilet booths. But none of those examples even come close to the “solution” of one technology company in Xiamen, Fujian Province, which reportedly installed cameras above the booths of its employee bathrooms to monitor phone use during bathroom breaks.

Wouldn’t a timer be a more effective choice here, so you don’t have to see employees pooping, peeing, or Lord knows what else?

After the photos went viral and news agencies started contacting China Aviation Lithium Battery Technology Co., Ltd. for clarification, the company came out with a statement, admitting that the leaked photos had been recorded by its surveillance system. However, it added that the cameras had only been installed this year, with the sole purpose of monitoring smoking in the company toilet.

China has always been more than a little off, but this is ridiculous. If my employer was watching me go to the bathroom, I would immediately quit and find a job where I can tinkle in peace.

Gobble, Gobble Indeed

So here’s something you don’t see every day. A Houston woman walked into a restaurant wearing nothing but a pair of socks and sneakers.

One wonders where she’ll wipe her hands after eating a turkey leg.

Turkey Leg Hut is a very busy restaurant as well, and a woman had it trending again, on Sunday. This person had customers surprised, after witnessing her walk into the restaurant, completely disrobed. The only clothing that she had on, was a pair of socks and sneakers.

Turkey Leg Hut also reportedly has an enforced dress code, which got a lot of backlash, online. For this woman though, it appears that she wanted to feel fully free, and didn’t mind the consequences of following Turkey Leg Hut’s dress code. It’s still unclear of whether or not that this woman went on to be arrested, or is facing charges.

Considering it’s Houston, one of Texas’ most liberal towns, I suspect the woman was applauded, given the key to the city, and probably had someone pay for her meal.

Thanks to The Daley Gator for the link!

I Apologize For This In Advance

A Lithuanian food factory has decided it would be a good idea to create “pussy flavor” chips. No, I do not mean they taste like kittens or cats.

If you think scorching hot potato chips are bold, these new pus*y-flavored potato chips recently launched in Lithuania will probably leave an interesting taste in your mouth.

According to recent research young people are three times less likely to fall in love than their parents were at the same age. Social media and our transition to virtual lives are partly to blame, but one Lithuanian potato chip company is trying to reverse the trend with a controversial line of chips aimed exclusively at 18-year-olds and older. The CHAZZ potato chip line features flavors like mussels and white wine, or Bloody Mary cocktail, but it’s the “pus*y flavor” that has been attracting the most attention…

The mussels and white wine may be edible, but I doubt any other flavor would. Honestly, who thinks of something like this, let alone create and sell it?

So how does one recreate the flavor of the female reproductive organ and adapt it to potato chips? Well, according to the CHAZZ website, the entire marketing department took the task very seriously, relying on their own experiences and those of acquaintances who had experienced the taste to reproduce it.

And that was the moment when I stopped reading the article. I mean… dude… what the actual hell?

If It Ain’t Scottish…

So a handyman was doing work on the Grand Central Hotel in Glasgow, Scotland. While he was checking some of the abandoned rooms, the man found something very odd inside one of the lofts.

Adam said he was surveying the Grand Central Hotel in Glasgow — which first opened its doors in 1883 — when he made the bizarre find.

The top two floors of the hotel have been abandoned since the 1970s, but had been “accessible to vagrants via a fire escape stairwell before access was barred by heavy duty fencing within the last decade”, he explained.

“The hotel was wanting to redevelop the abandoned section, so I was there helping with some initial survey work to scope out what was there,” he said.

Probably the worst decision Adam ever made.

After noticing “something odd” on the walls of the loft, Adam said he went to take a closer look and found “hundreds and hundreds” of razor blades embedded in the walls and ceiling.

“I noped out of that room real quick!” he posted in a Facebook group dedicated to hidden finds.

Pretty sure even Jack Torrance would run out of that room, post haste.

So, Who’s Thirsty?

The geniuses in Japan have decided to create a new beverage which has become all the rage. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I present to you Dumpling flavored soda!

Gyoza traditional pan-fried dumplings are a staple of Japanese cuisine, but they are also the inspiration for one of the world’s most bizarre refreshments. “Gyoza cider”, or “Gyoza soda”, as some Japanese news outlets have been calling this abomination, is the creation of Nagai Garden, a refreshments company based in the city of Nikko, Japan’s Tochigi Prefecture. Originally launched in 2019, gyoza cider has been making news headlines and going viral on social media ever since, due to its unusually faithful dumpling taste.

Well, if you think it tastes bad, wait until you notice the smell.

Upon opening a bottle of gyoza cider, you are reportedly hit by a unique smell that has been described as a mix of chili oil, vinegar, soy sauce, garlic, and ginger. The smell is so strong that a representative of Nagai Garden recently told Japanese news website J-Town that he advises people to open the bottle outdoors.

While I have never tried this beverage abortion, I assume the smell rivals Diego’s sweaty armpits.

I’ll Never Play Donkey Kong Again

So, imagine you’re sitting in the Murtala Muhammed Airport in Nigeria, and you get a whiff of something rancid meat. You start looking around and realize the odor is coming from someone’s packages.

Worse still, you find out what are in the packages

Nigerian officials have intercepted 7,000 donkey penises at an international airport after the smell from the packages aroused suspicion.

The donkey penises were being smuggled to Hong Kong in 16 sacks but customs officers at Murtala Muhammed airport in the Nigerian city of Lagos intercepted the packages.

I mean, I’d ask what someone would do with 7,000 donkey penises, but I cannot fathom the reason.

Sambo Dangaladima, the customs controller at the airport, told the BBC that the animal parts were found in sacks in the animal export section.

He said that a pungent smell was coming from the bags, arousing suspicion among the customs officers who then opened the packages to find the 7,000 donkey penises. The animal parts are used in China to make a medicine called ejiao.

China, that figures. Everything they make involves bats and donkey dongs.

Catch Me, I’m Fallin’

So you’re getting ready to send the kids back to school, and you decide to head to an amusement park to celebrate the end of summer. You hop on the side of a train and head to a park in India.

You rush to the Drop Tower, and brace yourself for fun and possibly a broken back.

It’s about as scary as it gets … an amusement park ride that encircled a tower high above the earth crashed to the ground in dramatic fashion … injuring lots of people.

It happened in India … the Drop Tower ride was 50 feet above the ground and presumably was supposed to make a slow descent, but the exact opposite happened … it spun in circles as it plummeted downward.

There were 30 people on the ride … at least 10 were injured. Some were taken to the hospital.

There were rumors the person operating the ride fled the scene after the crash, so there’s that.

If you’re interested, the short video is at the link.

America’s Most Depressed Cities

CEUfast and the CDC have compiled the depression rates of citizens in America’s cities. Since I battled this disease for nearly three years, I thought it was interesting enough to post.

Depression can affect anyone in any place, though new data shows some areas of the U.S. have more incidences of the anxiety disorder.

Researchers at nursing information and education outlet CEUfast reviewed data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to find the cities with the highest numbers of residents who have been been told they have any form of depression.

You can see the list of the top fifteen at the link. Billings, Montana topped the list, but that’s likely because of the weather. Madison, Wisconsin and Springfield, Massachusetts also made the top fifteen.

Based on the data, the U.S. city with the most depression is Billings, Montana. CEUFast says about 31% of residents out of a population of 181,000 have been told they’re depressed by a professional. Meanwhile, Kingsport, Tennessee, ranks second, with 30.6% of residents told they have depression.

Naturally, Philadelphia made the list. They were #33 out of fifty, with a 22.6 rate of depression. Wow, I can’t understand why. Speaking of, Philadelphia earned nine murders over the Labor Day weekend. Congratulations!

Thanks to The Pirate’s Cove for the link today! It’s always a site worth reading.

Guess They Won’t Let Us Play Through

I started playing golf when I was 18-years old. My friends and I would spend the summer heading to the links, and playing like garbage. I like to say, “I golf… but I’m not a golfer.” That said, I’m fairly certain I want nothing to do with the Skukuza Golf Club in South Africa.

Golfers at the “world’s wildest course” had to stop play until a “hazard” was cleared from the third hole – two angry lions, 20 hungry hyenas and a dead giraffe.

Early birds about to tee-off at the Skukuza Golf Club were warned of a feeding frenzy taking place after a morning kill.

Oh, did I mention the golf course has no fencing to keep the lions, tigers, and bears away?

Two hunting lionesses at the nine-hole course had brought down an adult giraffe on the fairway of the Par Five hole. But, while tucking in and waiting for the rest of the pride to join them, they were ambushed by a pack of 20 hungry hyenas.

One has to wonder if you can bring your clubs, and firearms to the course. You know, in case some of the predators are hungry for humans?