Come Select Your Mystery Ticket

A corporation in Japan has distributed vending machines throughout airports which will give you tickets to mystery destinations for 5,000 yen, or the equivalent of $43 dollars.

With a large proportion of the population now fully vaccinated, and the months-long state of emergency finally lifted, people in Japan are beginning to book holidays again, and one budget airline has come up with a very clever idea to get people back in the skies.

Called Tabikuji (“Journey Lottery”), the new promotion is the brainchild of Peach Aviation. They’re offering return tickets from either Tokyo’s Haneda Airport or Osaka’s Kansai International, to one of a number of destinations around Japan, and while the cost is surprising, the way they’re being sold is even more of an unexpected development.

Forty-three dollars for an airline ticket is pretty sweet, even in Japan.

That’s right — the tickets are being sold from a gacha capsule vending machine, with one located in Osaka and another in Tokyo.

And because you never know exactly what you’re going to get with these machines, as the capsules are dispensed at random, that’s the way Peach is selling their airline tickets as well.

This is all well and good until you get that ticket to fabulous, sunny Detroit, Michigan.

Supervillain Glues Covid Site Doors

A Canadian white male – ugh, white males are the worst – allegedly glued the doors of a Covid vaccine clinic on Vancouver Island. Oh noes, those vital government “workers” had to go home for the day?

West Shore RCMP said on Sept. 29 staff at a vaccine clinic 2900-block of Jacklin Road in Langford reported that someone glued the door locks while the building was closed, making entry impossible.

The man would have been a hero if he glued the doors of the Vancouver Canucks arena.

Police released images of the suspect, who is described as a Caucasian man in his 50s, five feet eight inches, with a medium build and mustache. He was wearing a beige Tilley hat, glasses, blue plaid shirt and jeans, and black-and-white shoes. He was also wearing a black poncho.

I would describe it as a cape, because all supervillains wear capes. Even the new bisexual Superman.

“While we understand that not everyone shares the same beliefs during this pandemic, this act of mischief is a criminal offence and will be treated as such.”

Yes, we in America are fully aware of the RCMP’s fascism of late. You clowns are just one level away from aping Australia’s stormtroopers.

If It’s Not Scottish, It’s… WTF?

So a group of Scottish friends took their mate out for a bachelor party. Apparently Scotland’s bachelor parties are much different than the ones I attended in America.

Commuters got quite an eyeful as they passed the scene in Robroyston, Glasgow, around 5.50pm on Thursday.

In a video clip, two pals can be seen tying the unsuspecting man to a wooden board and securing it to the roundabout’s road signs. Across the road, more friends laugh and cheer while the stunt – believed to be as part of a stag do – unfolds.

From the footage, the ‘groom’ appears to be only wearing a plastic Donald Trump mask and a mankini while cars and vans drive by.

I mean, the Trump mask was a nice feature, and I guarantee he had a much better bachelor party than I did. I mean, the best man did what he could, but I wasn’t even drunk afterward.

Woman Loses Her Mind Over A Song

A Troy, Michigan woman lost her shite after she heard a song inside a store. Apparently the song made her sad, so instead of sucking it up, she decided to lose her marbles.

Police said the 45-year-old woman was at Paradise Fruit Market on Sept. 27 when she heard the song. She told workers that the song made her sad and asked them to stop playing it. When the workers told her they couldn’t stop the song, she got angry and started yelling, so employees called police to escort the woman out of the store. However, the woman left and called the police to tell them she went to Sterling Heights.

Hmm, I wonder if it was “Baby Come Back?” That one always gets me.

An officer found the woman sitting in a vehicle on Parliament Drive west of Pall Mall Drive. As he was speaking to her, she got agitated, accused him of lying, and drove away. The officer tried to use his vehicle to block the woman from leaving but she drove around the patrol car and left. She was stopped, arrested, and later charged with hinder and obstruction of a police officer.

My local Redner’s supermarket is amazing with their music. One day they’ll be playing pop songs, the next day, it’s hard rock, and the next day it’s New Wave. The best day ever was when I was shopping and heard the store playing The Psychedelic Furs.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lye

Meet Megan Imirowicz of Groveland Township, Michigan. Megan is a young, beautiful girl with hopes and dreams of… becoming a murderer.

An 18-year-old was arrested last week after allegedly hurling chemicals at her dad and leaving him unconscious. The father, whose identity was not publicly disclosed, suffered chemical burns on his “head, torso and extremities” following the incident Friday in Groveland Township.

I’m not sure what precipitated the attack, but this bitch obviously knew that lye and water make for a deadly combination.

His daughter, Megan Imirowicz, is accused of causing the burns when she threw lye powder and water at her dad.

Imirowicz was charged with one count of assault with intent to do great bodily harm and one count of domestic violence. She was jailed on a $75,000 bond following her arraignment.

I’m not familiar with Michigan’s charging code, but I would think attempted murder should be on the list here; unless the bodily harm charge is their version of that.

Romper Room

Meet Lori and Eric Harmon of South Carolina. Lori and Eric are truly in love, and they enjoy their public displays of affection by banging in as many public spaces as they possibly can.

Pedestrians beware: you will get wet.

The South Carolina couple who pleaded guilty earlier this year to multiple indecent exposure charges–one of which involved a sex act in a glass gondola on the Myrtle Beach SkyWheel–was arrested today for allegedly again committing illicit acts in public.

Lori Harmon, 36, and Eric Harmon, 37, were booked this morning into the Horry County jail on indecent exposure charges. The couple, married for 17 years, was also charged with participation in preparation of obscene material.

I swear, I read that as Horny County Jail.

According to arrest warrants, the Harmons in late July engaged in a sex act while inside a photo booth at an arcade (video of Lori fellating Eric was posted to Twitter, police say). Lori is also accused of exposing herself and participating in sex acts with another individual while on the front porch of the couple’s residence. Eric was charged with “preparation of the obscene film that occurred at the incident location,” footage that was posted to Twitter.

Look, I’m all for couples having happy fun time, but for crying out loud, do it in the confines of your own home, instead of, say, amusement parks and video arcades.

Lost In Yonkers

This is an awful story, but I wanted to post it because some people have complete disregard of their fellow citizens. A man leapt to his death from the top of a Yonkers high-rise, and sadly, there was collateral damage.

Police are investigating an apparent suicide incident that claimed the lives of two people in Yonkers.

According to preliminary information, Yonkers Police say that a distraught 25-year-old man jumped off the roof of a building at 77 Locust Hill Ave shortly before 6 p.m.

They say he fell 12 stories on to the concrete parking garage roof below and struck a 61-year-old man. Both men died at the scene. They have not been identified.

While it’s sad the jumper thought he had no other options, but it is much more distressing for the innocent man was killed simply because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Loch Ness Monster Sighted… In China?

Well, I was searching for a story to kick off the weekend, and the best I could come up with was an alleged Loch Ness Monster sighting… in a lake…. in Jiaozhou City, China.

Seems totally believable to me.

The first-ever long-distance Loch Ness Monster sighting has been reported from China. Weiming Jiang spotted Nessie from 5,300 miles away in Jiaozhou City after he spotted the beast via a webcam.

Recorder of the Official Loch Ness Monster Sightings Register, Gary Campbell said: “She saw a black dot, then two, very close to the shore.

“They moved on the water for six minutes. It is the first accepted sighting we have had from China but just shows you can see Nessie from anywhere in the world.”

Settle down, Gary. If you watch the video at the link, it certainly seems like something is moving across the lake. That said, it could be anything; a shark, a large fish, or just Diego going for a leisurely swim.

Actually, that last guess is inaccurate. Diego doesn’t swim… he floats.

The Flying Nun

The odd site of a nun and a skeleton which confronted drivers on Spring Bank West outside the old Hull General Cemetery (Image: Hull Live)

So here’s something you don’t see every day. A woman dressed as a nun was dancing with a skeleton outside the UK’s Hull General Cemetery.

A woman dressed as a nun was seen cavorting with a skeleton beside a Hull graveyard. The jaw-dropping site was captured on camera by a passing car passenger on Spring Bank West outside the old Hull General Cemetery.

The woman was wearing a cream nun’s habit and coif headpiece. She was seen appearing to dance with one model human skeleton and playing with another of what looked like a dog.

A startled witness said: “Literally, she was stood at the cemetery on Spring Bank West opposite the turn off for Hymers school. She was dancing with a skeleton.”

I’ll bet a few of the locals have a bone to pick with her.

It looks like the nun’s dancing takes a lot of skull.

Hull police probably believe this is a grave offense.

Femur? I hardly know her!

Creepshow

An American woman was sitting in her residence minding her own business when she noticed her neighbor put up a surveillance camera pointed at her window.

A WOMAN has posted a video online claiming that her neighbour has installed a camera that looks directly into her window – and people are begging her to report it. TikTok user @bbzeb from America shared a video of herself reacting to the camera that she spotted on the building next door.

“When your neighbour installs a camera directly towards your window,” she wrote.

Throughout the video, she can be seen sipping wine as she shares clips of the camera at different angles.

Now, before you ask, I am not this woman’s neighbor. I mean, give me a little credit. I usually spy on my hot neighbors by peeking through the blinds and yelling, “Hey baby, come to Butt-Head.”