Walk Like An Egyptian

An American citizen who was imprisoned in Egypt for three years has been released after pressure was applied by the Trump administration.

An Egyptian American charity worker who was imprisoned in Cairo for three years and became the global face of Egypt’s brutal crackdown on civil society returned home to the United States after the Trump administration quietly negotiated her release.

President Trump and his aides worked for several weeks with Egyptian President Abdel Fatah al-Sissi to secure the freedom of Aya Hijazi, 30, a U.S. citizen, as well as her husband, Mohamed Hassanein, who is Egyptian, and four other humanitarian workers. Trump dispatched a U.S. government aircraft to Cairo to bring Hijazi and her family to Washington.

The Washington Post, ever the liberal stalwart, added, “The Obama administration unsuccessfully pressed Sissi’s government for their release..” Uh huh. I’m sure Obama fought tooth and nail to get our citizens released. /sarcasm

The couple and their co-workers had been incarcerated since May 1, 2014, on child abuse and trafficking charges that were widely dismissed by human rights workers and U.S. officials as false. Virtually no evidence was ever presented against them, and for nearly three years they were held as hearings were inexplicably postponed and trial dates canceled. Human rights groups alleged that they were abused in detention. (H/T – Kevin)

Look, I don’t agree with everything President Trump does, but the effort he has put forth so far has been nothing less than incredible. This is reminiscent of the transition period between Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan. America is strong again, and both our allies and enemies know it.

Remembering Robert Godwin, Sr.

A Philadelphia police officer created a portrait of Robert Godwin, Sr, the elderly Cleveland man murdered by the detestable Steve Stephens.

A beautiful work of art was made to remember Robert Godwin, Sr. Philadelphia Police Department forensic graphic artist Officer Jonny Castro created the portrait.

Philadelphia police posted the portrait of Godwin, Sr. on its Facebook page and said they are sharing it to spread an extremely important message.

“YOU – the public – are the best weapon we have in the fight against crime. Sure, that’s a cliche – but some cliches become cliches for a reason. FACT: Mr. Godwin’s killer is no longer a threat because a citizen picked up a phone and called police.” (H/T – Sully)

I figured we all needed a feel-good story after this violent, terrible week.

We Now Return To You Regular Boredom

Sorry about the lack of posts today – or you’re welcome if you hate this blog – but life interfered.

My neighbor Denny – aka Captain America – had his two five-story tall trees taken down. It has been an all-day project, and because of the height of the trees, the electric company left us without power. All day. On my day off.

So no video games, no blogging, and no sharing my sex tapes on YouTube.

In the interim, I did get a few things done. I reorganized the shed, bought new work shoes, and washed my balls. Well, my lacrosse balls. After a while lacrosse balls turn into “greasers” – not Mexicans, the other kind. Dirt, wetness, and the elements make the balls lose their grip, so – like my personal balls – they need to be scrubbed.

Unfortunately, they need to be scrubbed with sandpaper – the lacrosse balls, not my personal balls. It’s a long, painstaking job, but I cleaned two dozen balls in a few hours, so now I don’t have to hear Kyle whining about his shots going awry for a week or two.

I promise tomorrow will be a full plate, and I think I finally have a really good caption contest photo. Time will tell.

Game, Sex, And Match

A Florida couple did the impossible this week by finally making tennis enjoyable to watch… or at least enjoyable to listen to.

As Frances Tiafoe and Mitchell Krueger competed in the Sarasota Open on Tuesday night, their match was interrupted by a couple having sex across the way.

“Nope, that’s not a phone. That is … that’s an apartment across the lake,” he said. “Well, everyone was looking around to see where that was coming from and finally, figure out, that wasn’t a video. At least somebody’s having a good night.”

While spectators erupted with laughter in the stands, Tiafoe shouted, “It can’t be that good!”

Wow, I haven’t heard moaning like that since my senior prom. Ba-zing!

Continue reading “Game, Sex, And Match”

Unleash The Puppies!

Ladies, it may finally be time to burn the bra!

There is now scientific evidence that bras may not be as great for our health as we’ve been told. Could the same bras that help lift us up and make clothes look fashionable really be hurting us? These days, women are going braless, and for good reason. The health benefits are convincing enough to make even the most traditional of wearers hang their bras up for good!

Braless Benefit #1: You can actually get perkier breasts by going without a bra! French researchers dedicated to studying the effect of bras on a woman’s breast perkiness have concluded that wearing a bra might actually make breasts sag. Say what?! Turns out this is because the pectoral muscles that would usually fight against gravity are relaxed, and thus, lose tension over time.

And really, who doesn’t want perkier breasts? Kate Upton does, Salma Hayek does, and even Alec Baldwin does! So come on ladies, take the first step to a perkier new you!

Continue reading “Unleash The Puppies!”

Muslim Murders Four In Fresno

Meet Kori Ali Muhammad.

Kori is a Muslim piece of detritus who hates white people. Instead of calling white people “honkeys” and making fun of the way they dance, Kori decided to shoot as many whites as he could find. In total, this filthy pig murdered four.

The 39-year-old suspect opened fire on four men, hitting three and missing the fourth, before he was taken into custody, police Chief Jerry Dyer said.

Muhammad, who is facing four counts of murder for Tuesday’s shootings and the shooting last Thursday at Motel 6 and also two counts of attempted murder, shouted “Ali Akbar” after he spotted approaching officers and dove to the ground on Fulton Street, Dyer said.

Dyer said that it’s too soon to determine if the shooting rampage was terrorism-related.

Wow Chief, that is some outstanding detective work. Here’s what twenty-three years of law enforcement – including a dozen years as a detective – taught me. The suspect is a practicing Muslim with claims he hates white people. Said suspect arms himself and shoots four people – all of whom are white. During the shooting spree, the suspect is shouting “Allahu Akbar,” a phrase used regularly by Muslim terrorists.

Now maybe it’s just me, but these facts send up a red flag or two. I realize this is Fresno, home of the Cocooned Womyn’s Studies Major, so you are forbidden by law to trigger the snowflakes. How about we plea this down to a run-of-the-mill hate crime? Can you jackasses at least agree to that?

A Midseason Report

Yesterday Kyle’s lacrosse team played its seventh game of a twelve-game season. Kyle (left above) is primarily playing junior varsity this year, thanks in part to the minuscule number of players who came out to play. We have 37 on the roster, but we rarely see that many on game days, and while we do have enough to play games, some players have to play both varsity and JV the same day.

Kyle, a sophomore, has seen some varsity time, but it’s few and far between.

The boy has been playing very well on JV, however. Kyle is the JV top face-off guy, and through seven games he is 18-for-33, which amounts to a 55% win rate. He has also added two assists – a stat which angers him, because he knows he should be putting up better offensive numbers – and runs the offense on the field for the top midfield line.

I’d like to see him score more often, and I definitely want him feeding linemates more, but otherwise I am very happy with his play. The kid is the typical grunt player. He runs through kids to scoop ground balls, he sacrifices his body to draw penalties, and he leads by example. In short, he does all the things I did when I played, except he has much more raw talent that I ever had.

The Crusaders currently have a record of 3-4 overall and 3-2 in their conference. Their next game is Friday afternoon.

Like Weight On Rice

Meet Korean actress Lee Tae-Im. Looking at her, you can see she is the reason the United States protects South Korea from evildoers.

Now you may wonder how Lee maintains such a bangin’ body; the answer may surprise you.

Popular Korean actress Lee Tae-Im recently sparked a bit of controversy after revealing that she only eats three spoons of rice a day in order to maintain her slim figure.

Lee, who was previously known for her curves and overall healthy image, appeared on an episode of MBC Every1’s “Video Star” on Tuesday, where panelists quickly noticed her extremely slim physique. The young actress admitted to undergoing an extreme diet for the last six months, during which she only ate three spoons of rice per day.

And honey, it’s really working for ya! Lee embraced the diet after watching the Korean version of Mary Poppins, where Mary claims a spoonful of rice helps the cellulite go down.

The Need To Concede

Barack Obama reportedly demanded the Clinton campaign to concede the 2016 election; and he had to make the demand three times before Hillary took action.

A new book on the Clinton campaign contains the revelation that Clinton had to be pressured into conceding her loss on election night by President Barack Obama.

“POTUS doesn’t think it’s wise to drag this out,” White House political director David Simas is reported as saying to Robby Mook, Clinton’s campaign manager. The campaign did not concede at that point.

Later, President Obama himself called and told Clinton, “You need to concede.” The president then repeated the demand to Clinton campaign chairman John Podesta shortly thereafter.

Clinton still refused to make a concession speech until the next day, but remember, Hillary is a rational, mild-tempered woman who is fit to lead this country.