The Stache Shuts Down Fake News Hack

National Security Advisor John Bolton put ABC News baby Jonathan Karl in the corner yesterday after he tried to compare President Trump to Vladimir Putin.

National Security Advisor John Bolton on Sunday dismissed ABC News host Jon Karl’s comparison of President Trump to Vladimir Putin in regards to their treatment of the press.

“And we hear President Trump — doesn’t he kind of contribute to that authoritarian effort to undermine a free press when we hear him brand legitimate news organizations as fake,” he continued.

“No, I don’t think that has anything to do with it,” Bolton responded. “Let’s be clear. Franklin Roosevelt met with Joseph Stalin at a time when activity in Russia was a lot worse than it is today. I’m not excusing present conduct but it didn’t seem to bother Franklin Roosevelt and liberal Democrats weren’t bothered at the time when he met with Stalin. So let’s try and have some historical perspective here and not act like we have the attention span of fruit flies.”

Bolton then added that he thought the question was silly.

It’s beyond silly; it’s stupid and ignorant. Hey Jonathan, when President Trump begins sending journalists and other political enemies to the gulag, get back to me. Until then, STFU and worry about your declining ratings.

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Mary Had A Little Land

Kyle’s club lacrosse season came to an end this weekend, after the final whistle of the FLG in 3D Summer Shootout. Thee tournament was held in Boyds, Maryland; a little patch of nowhere between Baltimore and Washington, D.C. Countless teams in a dozen divisions competed during the event, which was held in an enormous complex containing twenty-four lacrosse fields.

Kyle’s team, the South Jersey Saints, were locked in a very difficult division with teams from Cleveland, Chicago, Massachusetts, Colorado, and San Jose. But before we get to that, did I mention the hotel?

Since thousands of people descended onto the area, lodging was scarce – especially for late-minute morons like myself. I won’t mention the chain, because the people who worked at our location were pretty good. It’s just everything else was godawful. The rooms were cheap, which was nice; but the rooms were, well, not nice…

Continue reading “Mary Had A Little Land”

Sunday Services

Today’s services focus upon actor Travis Fimmel, who is celebrating a birthday today.

Travis Fimmel (born 15 July 1979) is an Australian actor and former model. He is known for his role as Ragnar Lothbrok in the History Channel series Vikings.

Fimmel was born near Echuca, Victoria, Australia. He was raised on a 5,500-acre dairy farm in Lockington. The youngest of three brothers, he is the son of Jennie, a recreation officer for the disabled, and Chris, a cattle farmer. Aspiring to be a professional Australian rules footballer, Fimmel moved to Melbourne in his late teens to play for the St Kilda Football Club in the AFL, but a broken leg sidelined him before the season began. He was accepted into RMIT to study commercial architecture and engineering but later deferred to travel abroad.

Vikings was a must-watch show for me, right until Travis left the series. Despite the stunning good looks, the man is also a very good actor.

There are more photos below the fold…

Continue reading “Sunday Services”

The Sex Was Glorioso

Meet Miguel Glorioso and Jamie Lee Coutee.

Miguel and Jamie Lee are two crazy kids from Louisiana who were searching for a little alone time… in a courthouse stairwell.

According to the Rapides Parish Sheriff’s Office, Miguel Glorioso, 20, and Jamie Lee Coutee, 19, are both facing an obscenity charge after reports were made of commotion in the fifth-floor stairwell around 10:20 a.m. Wednesday. When an employee went to investigate, they found the couple having sex.

After seeing the employee, the two fled, but the employee was able to identify Glorioso, a trustee assigned to cleaning the courthouse. Court Security then located him, and he was identified by the witness, arrested and booked into the Detention Center. Investigators then determined the female suspect as Coutee, who was arrested around 8 p.m. Wednesday evening in Alexandria.

In his defense, Glorioso simply wanted to explore the penal system by banging a gavel. Repeatedly.

President Awesome

President Trump took the fight to CNN once again yesterday, calling the “news network” fake news while responding to prissy little snowflake Jim Acosta.

President Donald Trump called CNN “fake news” when the network’s White House correspondent Jim Acosta tried to ask a question during a joint press conference with British Prime Minister Theresa May Friday.

Trump told Acosta that he preferred taking a question from a “real” news network. “No, John Roberts, go ahead,” Trump repeated. “CNN is fake news. I don’t take questions from CNN. CNN is fake news.” Acosta countered that CNN is also a “real network.”

Heh. Every day, I love the president a little more.

P.S. – I’m in Maryland this weekend for Kyle’s final summer lacrosse tournament. I’ll only be online sporadically, since Kyle has two games today and two tomorrow.

FIFA To Guys: Drop Dead

FIFA, the brutally corrupt organization behind the World Cup, has demanded broadcasters avoid showing the multitude of fabulous babes attending the matches. S-M-R-T.

FIFA has ordered World Cup broadcasters to stop zooming their cameras in on ‘hot women’ in the crowd during matches, to help prevent sexism in football.

Among the glamorous fans attracting attention are former porn star Natalya Nemchinova, named as Russia’s hottest World Cup fan, along with wives and girlfriends of footballers playing for England, Croatia and France.

But, the federation’s diversity boss, Federico Addiechi, said the organisation has told its broadcast service to stop zooming in on ‘hot women’ in the stands.

Look, I love soccer, and the World Cup always pulls me in. That said, if you’re going to win over American fans, you’ll want to offer them some incentive. Crazy stupid hot babes will always do the trick.

But hey, if you want to see ratings plummet, go with this plan. Morons.

(Jim) Beam Me Up, Scottie

Meet Earle Stevens of… well, you already know the state.

Earle was recently arrested for DUI; a charge he plans to contest because, you see, he was never actually drinking while he was driving.

During the June 27 arrest, 69-year-old Earle Stevens told officers he hadn’t been drinking and driving – he’d only been drinking at “stop signs,” according to an arrest affidavit.

Police received a 911 call after a McDonald’s drive-thru customer in Vero Beach complained of a driver behind her repeatedly bumping her car.

Indian River County sheriff’s deputies found Stevens still behind the wheel, an open bottle of booze stuffed in a paper bag on the seat next to him. Deputies said Stevens smelled of alcohol and told them he was feeling “pretty good.”

Stevens, who said he has never had a Florida driver’s license, allegedly told deputies that he’d only sip Jim Beam at “stop signs.”

So, technically, Earle wasn’t drinking and driving. Personally, I can see a Flori-duh jury acquitting him.

Eggs Over Queasy

A woman in Britain decided to propose to her boyfriend in a most unusual manner. Any further explanation would not do this story justice. Read on…

A WOMAN got a nasty shock after her creative plan for proposing to her boyfriend went horribly wrong. The unnamed woman was taking advantage of the Leap Year tradition – which means the female can propose to her man on February 29.

She decided to place an engagement ring inside a Kinder Egg and inserted it into her vagina. The woman’s surprise didn’t go quite as planned and the egg ended up rotating itself lengthwise inside.

The surgeon retrieved the egg using a pair of sponge-holding forceps, then gave the boyfriend a pair of latex gloves to open his Kinder Surprise.

Dude. Come to think of it, it would have been more appropriate to hide the ring in a bag of Swedish fish.

Bela Pelosi

Nancy Pelosi is a very sick woman, both morally and physically. After recent episodes where she has forgotten names and slurred her words, people are questioning if she in the early stages of Alzheimer’s.

Yesterday’s rally appearance did not assuage those fears.

Democratic House minority leader Nancy Pelosi appeared to mess up a chant that she started at an event Wednesday.

Pelosi attempts to rally an audience to chant “Clean air! Clean water! Clean government!” Just moments later, she messes up the chant herself in a video. Her strange public behavior and occasional difficulty speaking have garnered attention online, as many notice a pattern of such flubs.

The minority leader has also said, “The Constitution does not say that a person can shout … yell ‘wolf’ in a crowded theater. If you are endangering people, then you don’t have a constitutional right to do that.”

Losing one’s mind is a terrible thing, but I believe the best course of action is to let Pelosi continue to embarrass herself as a Democrat representative. We conservatives owe her that much.