The Battle Of The Bulge

A British man was stopped by a store manager after she believed he had items stuffed down his pants. Sadly, there was something down the man’s pants, but not anything which was for sale.

A MAN was accused of shoplifting after staff saw a suspicious bulge in his jeans — but it turned out to be his 10in todger.

Window fitter Steve Whitehurst, 47, showed security his member after a female manager raised the alarm. He had been buying £400-worth of stuff at Scotts Mens­wear, with girlfriend Mandy Shenton, 46, and her 18-month-old grandson. But things came to a head at the till when the store manager asked about his bulge.

Boy, if I had a dollar for every time I was asked that… I’d have two dollars!

Steve, who claims he often has to roll up his manhood, said: “I had very tight jeans on that day and there was a bulge, yes, but that’s not illegal. I can’t help the way I’m made. He said he then went to a cubicle with a male security guard at his local store in Stoke-on-Trent.

Steve recalled: “I dropped my boxers. He shook his head and ran out and spoke with the manager. I heard her say, ‘Please tell me he’s got something down there,’ and the guy said, ‘No’.”

Oh, there’s something down there, honey, and it’s ready for your inspection!