True Detective Stories

So the other day I was sitting in my Man Cave playing NHL 2020 when I received a text message from one of my coworkers. The detective sent a photo of four dozen donuts in the kitchen, sent in by a victim who actually thought Diego the Idiot Detective did a good job.

Yes, we were all shocked and appalled.

The detective called Diego and told him what happened, and because Diego is the dumbest person currently living on the planet, he freaked out. Apparently, even HE didn’t believe he did a good job, and told the detective he thought someone accessed his credit card and purchased the donuts with it.

Oh, they’re Beiler’s Donuts – very expensive and very delicious. Too bad the victim sent them on a day Diego was off. I’m surprised he didn’t drive to work.

The detective texted, “Right now, Diego and his wife are looking over their credit card statements. LOL.”

Oh, and since yesterday was my first day back on night work, my fellow detectives left me sixty-four – SIXTY-FOUR! – unassigned jobs.