True Neighbor Stories

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for a rant.

In the last decade, my next-door neighbors went from an amazing elderly couple – husband fought in WWII – to a drunken duo who spent their time having dozens of people over for parties every weekend, to the Asians – one of whom tried to break into my home – to our fabulous new white trash assclowns who take every opportunity to make themselves pariahs.

Allow me to explain. My block is full of split-level single homes. Every house has a driveway, as well as a space for two cars to park in front of each house. The new clowns own three vehicles: husband, wife, and daughter. But instead of parking in the driveway and spots provided, they park in other people’s spots – namely, mine.

I’ll come home from work and see one of these seeping pustules in front mf my house, while their driveway and/or parking spots are empty. Kyle’s car is in one street space, and Mrs. Earp’s car is in the garage. She takes the kids to school in the morning, so it’s easier for me to park on the street than moving my car every day.

Worse still, there is no rhyme or reason to it, especially when they park across the street, swiping the other neighbor’s space. I don’t know what possesses these people to do this, and yes, it seems like a minor inconvenience, but they’re new in the neighborhood, so you’d think they wouldn’t want to be remembered as the new asshole, cock-holsters of the block. Yet here we are.

I’ve been living here for almost twenty-four years; is it too much to expect a little common courtesy?

Just Another Day In The Big City

Regular readers may remember the trouble we had with out millennial next door neighbors. They were, for the most part harmless, but every weekend they held raucous drunken parties in their backyard. Their jackass friends took all the parking spaces on the street, urinated on our lawn, and kept the kids up with their caterwauling. They lived next door for about six years, and the day they moved we wanted to throw a party.

The house went up for sale and a Russian guy purchased the house. But instead of moving in, this prick decided he would rent the property instead, and make some money. Two very shady Asian men moved into the residence, and soon after, the Asians decided to turn the house into an AirBnB. The Asians still lived there, but they rented a room to virtually every vagrant in the tri-state area.

Our neighborhood is very quiet, and filled with a lot of police officers and firefighters. It’s one of the last decent places in the city, and the neighbors make sure it stays that way. But recently, the Asians stopped the AirBnB – apparently they never got a license to rent – and added another roomie – an Hispanic male – who is even shadier than the Asians.

(Oh, and before you start throwing out cries of racism, I am mentioning their race as personal descriptors, nothing more.)

Continue reading “Just Another Day In The Big City”