London’s Bridge Almost Fell

Meet former Playboy Playmate Jessica London. Jessica had a whirlwind love affair with vodka, and the breakup was devastating.

At age 26 – and to the outside world – Playboy model Jessica Landon seemed to have it all. But Jessica was hiding a devastating illness, which she had been gripped by since her early 20s – an addiction to alcohol.

By the time she was 26, the former model admits she was downing vodka 24 hours a day and had suffering appalling injuries and health problems as a result of her addiction.

I also have an addiction; I’m addicted to boobies!

Forced to move into a friend’s attic as her problems spiraled out of control, Jessica tripped over the stair rail, landed on her head and suffered a baseball-sized brain hemorrhage.

Jessica organs started to fail as she lay, unmovng in the same spot, among her own filth. The huge amount of spirits she was drinking 24 hours a day turned her own urine into acid, which started to eat her own skin.

Alcohol is fine in moderation, but it can also kill you if you abuse it. Thankfully, Jessica recovered from her injuries, and overcame her addiction. It’s a terrible lesson to learn, but she adapted; she overcame.

Happy Cinco De Mayo!

Today is Cinco de Mayo, which commemorates Mexico’s victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla in 1862. One wonders how amazing Mexico would be if it was run by the French.

Anyhoo, the reason I’m posting this – besides the obligatory Salma Hayek photo – is most of my coworkers are really pissed off they can’t go out and get hammered at a bar this evening. They’re younger and have a better tolerance for alcohol, unlike this old timer.

The Wuhan virus lockdown has driven everyone crazy, and after two months with the kids home all day, every day, the missus and I decided it would be nice to have some alcohol in the house. I headed to the store and got the missus some Seagram’s drinks and a twelve-pack of Sierra Nevada beer for me.

It’s been a while since I had a beer. I had one at Christmas, and before that… I honestly don’t know. Months, easily. So after jumping back on the wagon – or off it, who remembers? – I realized my tolerance is very low. One beer had me nearly completely drunk, and I sipped most of it. It’ll be a while before I can have more than one a day, but it at least takes the edge off the screaming kids.