Alice In Führerland

Meet Alice Cutter, an alleged member of the terror group National Action, and interestingly, a former contestant of the Miss Hitler pageant. Hmm, I wonder who sponsors the contest? Pfft, probably those fascists at Chick-Fil-A.

Four neo-Nazi “diehards” are facing jail for being “active members” of the banned terrorist group National Action (NA). Alice Cutter and her former partner Mark Jones appeared at Birmingham crown court on Monday, along with Garry Jack and Connor Scothern.

Cutter, a former Miss Hitler beauty pageant contestant, and Jones, both of Sowerby Bridge in West Yorkshire, as well as Jack and Scothern were all convicted of having membership of a terrorist group, after a trial in March.

Dear Verizon FiOS, I spend hundreds of dollars a year for cable television and you clowns refuse to broadcast the Miss Hitler pageant? Cancel my subscription, post haste!

The 23-year-old, who entered the beauty contest as Miss Buchenwald – a reference to the second world war concentration camp – denied being a member, despite attending the group’s rallies, in which banners reading “Hitler was right” were raised.

Yes, everyone knows Hitler was right-handed, you racist anti-right-handed bastards! Look, I get Alice is likely a member of the NA terror group, and I realize entering the Miss Hitler pageant is not exactly something to put on a resume, but get this: Alice didn’t win the pageant. I guess she wasn’t Hitler enough for neo-Nazis.

Oh, and before you ask, yes, I’d probably hit that like the side of a tree on the forest moon of Endor.