Mulder Was Right!

The U.S. Navy confirmed videos of three alleged UFO sightings are genuine, and they have declared all three objects as “unidentified.”

Three videos posted online that have been described as being related to UFO sightings do indeed include footage of “unidentified aerial phenomena,” a U.S. Navy spokesman confirmed.

But as for specifics, spokesman Joseph Gradisher said the Navy doesn’t know exactly what the objects are.

“The three videos (one from 2004 and two from 2015) show incursions into our military training ranges by unidentified aerial phenomena,” Gradisher said.

Great, all those drunken rednecks are going to hold this over our heads for the rest of our lives, and Jimmy Carter will continually regale us about his anal probe.

All Your Earth Are Belong To Us

Scientists are weighing how Earthlings would react to first contact with an alien life form. And yes, I am certain our tax dollars paid for this nonsense.

Participants in both groups described their reactions positively, though the “positivity bias” — the proportion of pleasant to unpleasant words — was stronger regarding the fossils.

Given these results, Yale University psychologist Gordon Pennycook said he would be “pretty confident” that, if NASA announced the discovery of alien microbes tomorrow, Americans would react positively.

Planetary scientist Lindy Elkins-Tanton, who is the director of Arizona State University’s initiative but was not directly involved with this study, said that “getting ready for what we might find” in space is the first step. That Americans respond positively, she said, is “quite hopeful.”

Most Americans would react positively to the news because we have been surrounded by aliens for years. Lady Gaga, Maxine Waters, the entire state of Florida…