Meet Nicholas Ruthenberg of, well, you already know what state. Nicholas was married on Monday, and shortly thereafter, he was arrested for being under the influence after he struck an oncoming car.
Police charge that Nicholas Ruthenberg was driving the wrong way on a Vero Beach street late Monday afternoon when he struck a vehicle traveling in the opposite direction. Ruthenberg ran from the scene of the crash, which resulted in the hospitalization of the other driver for “neck, back, and leg pain,” cops reported.
Ruthenberg, who was subsequently arrested near the crash site, was acting erratically and “appeared as if he were under the influence of an unknown substance.” Upon arrival at the county jail, Ruthenberg declared “All hail Donald Trump” while failing a series of sobriety tests.
Well, I guess he can’t all bad, amirite?
Ruthenberg’s blood alcohol level was 0.0, prompting police to ask him for a urine sample to “determine the presence of chemical or controlled substances.”
As a cop prepared the urine test, Ruthenberg “started to take his pants off and then spread his buttocks. During which time he placed two fingers in his anus.” Ruthenberg was then placed back in handcuffs.
I mean, I guess it’s better than having the cops stick their fingers in there.
Ruthenberg, who lives about 15 miles from Vero Beach, is a registered Democrat, according to Florida voter records. The email address he provided when registering is email@example.com.
Wait, the drugged-up, felonious “All Hail Trump” guy is a Democrat? I am shocked. Shocked, I say!