Dix Gets Shafted By A Vagina

Meet Ashley Beth Rolland of Monroe, Louisiana. Ashley is an attractive, loving woman, who would do anything for her boyfriend.

Especially if his money needs to be kept warm.

The Ouachita Parish Sheriff’s Office said that 23-year-old Ashley Beth Rolland was accused of stealing about $5,000 from her boyfriend.

The victim, Eugene Dix, told the West Monroe Police Department that he was taking a shower in his apartment when Rolland helped himself to his cash and vanished. When she was questioned, Rolland allegedly confessed to police that she had taken the money.

Sheriff’s department documents said that when a female correctional officer searched Rolland when she was being processed, she discovered $6,233 and “a clear plastic bag” of methamphetamine inside the woman’s vagina.

Eh, what? First, you’re not a kangaroo, and second, if your vagina looks like a wallet, you have more serious problems than your upcoming court case. Sadly, that’s not the most bizarre part of this story…

Rolland denied that the bag of approximately one gram of methamphetamine found inside her was hers. (H/T – Jim F. and Al)

Yep, Ashley was just sitting on a park bench, minding her own business, when some stranger shoved a baggie of meth into her vagina.