Here Comes Shooty Claus…

Imagine if you live in the North Pole (Alaska). Everyone is happy, awaiting for another Christmas to arrive, until some dullard decides to rob someone on North Santa Claus Lane.

This reads like a Christmas nightmare. A man involved in an attempted robbery in North Pole, Alaska, was killed Wednesday — on North Santa Claus Lane.

In a news release, the North Pole Police Department said that Adam Selid, 18, was shot during a gun sale that turned into an attempted robbery, KTUU-TV reported. The shooting took place in the parking lot near a Taco Bell at North Santa Claus Lane, according to the television station.

The Taco Bell is necessary for all the gas Santa and the reindeer need for Christmas Eve.

Selid and Dalen Davis, 19, met with the seller and agreed to purchase the weapons at about 11:32 p.m. local time. According to police, Selid then pulled out a handgun and threatened the seller.

After a struggle, the seller produced his own weapon and fired one shot that struck Selid in the abdomen.

Unfortunately for Selid, he made the Darwinian Naughty List.

(Thanks to Mis. Hum. at AOSHQ for the linkage!)

The Bacon Defense

BaconAn elderly British woman has learned bacon is the greatest food in all the land. Not only is it delicious and nutritious, it is also a great self-defense weapon.

Greater Manchester Police Trafford South reported that the 86-year-old woman was approached by an unidentified female in a grocery store after withdrawing a large amount of money from an ATM.

“Whilst shopping, the lady was challenged by an unknown female who grabbed her trolley and demanded the money she had withdrawn,” Police wrote.

“The 86 year old lady then defended herself by repeatedly hitting the female offender over the head with a packet of bacon. The offender then retreated and made off from the supermarket.” (H/TMis. Hum.)

The woman should receive a medal after beating that thug to bits.