Hollywood: Cut Ties From Police

This story is two weeks old, and I apologize for posting two consecutive Hollywood stories, but I thought this story was both important and hilarious. A group of black actors are demanding Hollywood cut their ties with police departments, because racism… or something.

Hollywood celebrities, including Queen Latifah, Idris Elba, and Angela Bassett, are demanding that studios cut their ties with police departments, which usually provide security for movie and TV shoots as well as glitzy events like the annual Academy Awards ceremony.

As someone who has worked in law enforcement for twenty-six years, I am fully on board with this measure. Most officers despise working on movie sets – yes, some occur in Philadelphia – because we would rather be patrolling the streets instead of being treated like second-class citizens by spoiled Hollywood assclowns.

The letter is asking studios to “commit to no police on sets or events or for any other purposes.” For security, they suggest using private security officers from the SEIU-USWW labor union — but only if those individuals drop their ties with police unions.

Wonderful idea! Everyone knows when the shite hits the fan, you don’t want an experienced, armed professional who spends his or her days in a war zone; you want an overweight, dimwitted soy-boy who was hired by his uncle, who happens to be a union kingpin.

Celebrities are also calling on Hollywood bosses to put pressure on Los Angeles and California politicians to remove the police from traffic coordination and the permit process for shooting.

Another triumph! I highly anticipate reading about the drunken super-fan who shattered Idris Elba’s femur after plowing through “security.”

Please embrace this measure Hollywood, I beg of you. It will be an unmitigated disaster which will see popcorn futures skyrocket in the police community. Make no mistake, the average police officer wants to be as rid of you as you want to be rid of us.