A Wretched Hive Of Scum And Villainy

Meet Amika Witt, the pride of Bloomington, IL.

Amika is a young, hard-working, urban professional trying to make ends meet. She does so by peddling pharmaceuticals to the local populace, with occasional bouts of gun smuggling.

Amika Witt, 20, and a male acquaintance were arrested early Thursday after their car was stopped for speeding on Interstate 55 just north of Bloomington. A police search of the vehicle and its occupants turned up heroin and Ecstasy.

Witt was subsequently transported to the McLean County jail, where the intake process included a strip search. During the search of Witt, a female jailer recovered a loaded Kimber .380 caliber handgun from the suspect’s vagina. The gun had a fully loaded clip and a bullet in the chamber.

See? She’s just like Han Solo… with a more repugnant-smelling “cargo hold.”

The handgun weighs 13.4 ounces with an empty magazine and is 5.6” long.

Luckily, Amika’s Sarlacc pit was no match for the long arm of the law.

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