Thank You And Bum Again

Meet Shilpa Sethi, an “Instagram influencer” from New Delih, India. (For those unaware, an Instagram influencer is someone who has no job and no marketable skills besides their looks.) For her part, Shilpa makes her bones from her gigantic ass.

An Instagram model says a botched Brazilian butt lift left her unable to sit — for six months.

“It was very painful,” Shilpa Sethi, who has led with her mammoth backside in sexy photos to land 1.2 million followers on the site, said to the Daily Mail.

The 25-year-old New Delhi woman said she spent $10,000 to get the booty-boosting surgery in Miami about five years ago. She said the butt lift — which involved taking fat from her waist and injecting it in her bottom — left her with a lopsided backside and excruciating pain.

Now this may sound like a radical idea, but how about you enjoy the body God gave you instead of inflating your ass to Stacey Abrams proportions? You know you’re going to need a wheelbarrow to carry that caboose when you hit seventy, right? Dolt.

Polly Want A Crack Pipe?

Brazilian authorities confiscated a parrot after it warned its drug-dealing owners police were outside.

Police took a parrot into custody in Brazil after it warned two drug dealers about an undercover raid, authorities confirmed. When the parrot noticed police officers Tuesday at its owners’ house in Teresina, it squawked, “Mum, the Police!” in Portuguese.

Despite the bird’s best efforts to alert its owners to the raid, police successfully arrested a man on charges of drug trafficking. Crack and heroin were found at the property as well as large quantities of money.

Police officers believe the parrot had been trained to spot police vehicles. “He must have been trained for this,” said one officer involved in the operation. “As soon as the police got close he started shouting.”

So I guess this parrot is more of a stool pigeon? Thank you, I’ll be here all week. Try the veal!

Paulinha Es Muy Caliente

A Brazilian member of Parliament is catching a lot of heat for her, well, hot body. Meet the delicious Ana Paula Da Dilva.

Ana Paula da Silva, known locally as Paulinha, had previously served two stints as a city mayor before being elected to the Brazilian state of Santa Catarina’s Legislative Assembly in October. But she rose to wider public attention in January, after pictures posted from the assembly’s opening day went viral and began to garner some unsavory attention.

The striking red outfit with the plunging neckline that the state deputy wore was quick to attract comments online. Some immediately questioned if it was the right place for her to wear it.

As a red-blooded American male, allow me to explain. There is huge a difference between a below-average looking female politician wearing stripper boots to the Senate and a smoking hot female politician showing off her fabulous fun-bags. Here endeth the lesson.

There is more below the fold…

Fellow citizens began attacking Paulinha for her choice of attire, which I find fascinating coming from the World’s Bikini Capital and originator of the Brazilian wax.

“I thought people were going to talk about the red, but they just focused on the cleavage,” she told local network NSC TV, adding “the way I dress is my problem.”

“Women have breasts and I have big breasts, I’ve always been like that.” (H/TProof)

And I salute you for it! (Well, parts of me are saluting.) Personally, I think the red is okay, as is the cleavage. It would be questionable in the States, but Brazil is nowhere near uptight as the U.S. I mean, it’s not like she’s wearing a tube top. (Although I highly recommend one!)

And really guys, ask yourselves a question: who would you rather have representing you, Kyrsten Sinema or Ana Paula Da Silva?

Caption Contest Winners

The Smashy Smashy! Caption Contest has now concluded. Sorry for the mix-up with the caption photos. I need better choices for these things.

Top Three Entries:
3. Just like a border jumper demanding to be rewarded for breaking into our country, these guys are putting the “If I break into a bank, they have to give me a sack of money to me” theory to test. – TXNick
2. I see Barack’s back on vacation & playing golf in Rio. – MelP

WINNER! – A picture of Russia hacking a Brazilian bank. – Toothy

Weekend Caption Contest

Smashy Smashy! Caption Contest
(Source: Associated Press)

***I changed the photo, because I thought the previous one was less-than-spectacular.***

Caption this photo in the comments section. The winners will be posted Monday, March 20th.

Original Caption: Protesters shatter the glass of a bank during a demonstration against federal government proposed reforms in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, Wednesday, March 15, 2017. People protested across the country against proposed changes to work rules and pensions. (Leo Correa/AP)

The Last Dumper

miss-bumbum-last-supper-photo

Contestants of Brazil’s annual ass awards have recreated Leonardo Da Vinci’s “The Last Supper,” and the outrage has raised the dead.

Brazil’s Miss Bumbum beauty pageant has sparked anger after bikini-clad contestants posed for a recreation of the iconic religious painting The Last Supper – with the woman with the ‘sexiest’ bottom playing Jesus.

In the photo, eight hopefuls in the popular ‘rear of the year’ contest are portrayed as Christ and his disciples on the night before his crucifixion in a scene that has offended many in the deeply Catholic country.

Last night religious leaders branded the remake of the Da Vinci masterpiece ‘deeply disrespectful’ while even Brazil’s religious intolerance commission waded in to the debate as anger over the picture grew.

Not to pick a nit here, but wouldn’t you expect the Miss Bumbum contestants to show more bums in the photo? I mean you can only really see three full asses; or a holey trinity.

Your Olympic Babe O’ The Day

Priscilla Carnaval Brazil

Today sees the continuation of a series I first started in 2006 during the Turin Winter Olympics. In my opinion, the Winter Games rarely need incentives for viewing – hockey, bobsledding, ski jump are kickass enough – but the Summer Games are a little dull for my tastes.

Enter the fabulous babes…

Continue reading “Your Olympic Babe O’ The Day”

Love For Sale

Brazil Bikini BabeThe disappointing debacle that has become the Rio Summer Olympics is hitting everyone hard. The Zika virus is keeping visitors away, Russia’s track team has been banned, and now desperate prostitutes are offering discounts for everything from a threesome to a half and half.

Prostitutes in Rio de Janeiro’s red light district are offering a ‘sex sale’ for visitors to the Olympic Games – after hopes of a boom during Brazil’s hosting of the World Cup two years ago flopped.

Sex workers in the city’s notorious Vila Mimosa zone claim that, despite high expectations in the run-up to the football tournament, business during the event actually fell substantially.

Now, with a month to go before the games, they say they have prepared a flyer in English inviting Olympic athletes to the red light area, near Rio’s city center, offering cut price deals.

The seedy leaflet says 30 minutes of sex is 40 reals (£9) – down 48 per cent on the normal price of 75 reals (£17).

Sadly, the Brazilian hoors are so riddled with STD’s, the term “half off” applies to both the fees and your post-coitus Johnson.