How Now, Brown Cow?

With all the violence, death, and misery going on in this country, it’s nice to know some things are a constant… like the idiocy of the average American.

Milk is such a presence in our lives we probably take it for granted. Thank goodness for World Milk Day — one of those weird food holidays which are sometimes invented by interest groups to push a product. Regardless of the holiday’s origins, let’s take this opportunity to delve into some of the ways people appreciate milk in their daily lives.

The Innovation Center for U.S. Dairy conducted a survey of more than 1,000 adults 18 and over in April of this year. They uncovered some shocking facts about how people think about – and drink – milk.

First off, 48% of respondents said that they aren’t sure where chocolate milk comes from. Um, guys, it comes from cows – and not just the brown kind.

Still, 7% of people – and remember, this survey talked to actual, grown-up adults – still think that chocolate milk only comes from brown cows. Actually, chocolate milk gets its flavor and color from cocoa beans.

My assumption here is the “adult” respondents here are millennials, because most of the twenty and thirty-somethings I know are dumber than cow dung.