The Pride Of Secaucus, New Jersey

Meet Reuven Alonalayoff, the director of marketing at Hudson Regional Hospital. Reuven was arrested recently after he stockpiled a cache of handguns and shotguns in a hospital closet.

Reuven Alonalayoff, 46, of Elmwood Park, was taken into custody at Newark’s Liberty International Airport by Secaucus police with assistance from the United States Department of Homeland Security Investigations. He was charged with possession of an assault firearm and two counts of possession of a high capacity magazine, Secaucus Police Chief Dennis Miller said.

Now, does this look like a guy who would shoot up a hospital?

“The presence of weapons in a hospital is inexcusable beyond comprehension and contradicts our mission of care and our commitment to the safety of our community of staff, patients and the extended community,” Hudson Regional Hospital officials said in a statement. “While regrettable, this incident has given us occasion to review security protocols and we have taken steps to assure that it will never happen again.”

Well, if nothing else, his surname is terrific… Alonalayoff.