Finally, Russia Made Basketball Exciting!

A group of prudish Russian citizens complained about a pregame routine where basketball cheerleaders performed a striptease in front a multitude of fans.

I fail to see the problem here.

The women, who were sporting minuscule underwear and platform stilettos, performed before a Russian Basketball Super League match in Saint Petersburg on Sunday.

But the final’s pregame show before the match between Spartak St. Petersburg and Samara caused uproar after numerous fans with children accused the organisers of staging an “inappropriate” striptease performance.

The group of nine began their routine on the ground, seeing the majority of them on all fours. Some of the girls were sporting a nude thong body suit while the rest wore black french underwear and a bra.

Look, your kids are just going to learn all this on the street, anyway. I say sit back, relax, down a few shots of vodka, and enjoy the ride.

Yo Mama Says You Slutty, Hey Hey, Ho Ho!

Coastal Carolina University – home of the Fighting Floozies – has suspended their cheerleading squad for allegedly working as strippers.

A South Carolina cheerleading team has been suspended during an investigation into allegations its members worked as strippers and escorts.

An investigatory report obtained under an open records request includes text messages in which current and former members of the Coastal Carolina University cheer team discuss jobs as strippers.

The investigator also wrote that the cheerleaders were paid up to $1,500 for escorting men to events and were also paid in gifts including clothes and designer handbags.

Wow, that’s hawt. The article claims the cheerleaders did not have sex with their clients, but I’m skeptical. By definition, cheering people up is their mission. Why take someone around the world when you’re going to avoid Intercourse, PA?