Definitely A Home Run

Chicago’s Home Run Inn Pizza is donating 10,000 pizzas to seniors, community centers, and the homeless.

Home Run Inn Pizza is giving away 10,000 frozen pizzas this year to the homeless and other organizations.

I’m sorry, they’re giving frozen pizzas to the homeless? Where will they cook them?

The company, who is celebrating 75 years this year, has partnered with the City of Chicago Department of Family and Support Services for the initiative.

In the coming weeks and months, pizza giveaways will be set up for community members at the city’s six community service centers, senior centers and early childhood learning centers.

I’ll give credit to Home Run Inn for the donations, but it’s not like the homeless have microwave ovens in their shopping carts. I mean, seriously?

Trust Your Blue City Politicians

The city of Chicago has decided to place nearly 500 “Bleeding Control Kits’ in city and public buildings around the crime-infested city. Apparently, the hundreds of murders and shootings are choking Chicago’s hospitals and trauma wards.

The City of Chicago is installing hundreds of kits in city buildings to treat bleeding gunshot victims under a new program officials say could help save lives in an emergency.

Chicago’s Office of Emergency Management and Communications announced earlier this month that the city has begun installing 426 wall mounted “Bleeding Control Kits” in 269 buildings across the city.

Imagine how many homicides and shootings Chicago has that this program needed to be implemented.

Those buildings include City Hall, Chicago Public Library locations, the Chicago Cultural Center, medical clinics, senior centers and more.

OEMC said the kits are being installed under a new program called “Safe Chicago” in partnership with the Chicago Fire Department, Chicago Police Department and the city’s Assets and Information Services.

“Safe Chicago” may be the most hilarious oxymoron I have ever heard. Instead of, say, putting Bleeding Control Kits in city buildings, how about you ask Mayor Groot to enforce the law and lock up the shooters? Or say, for instance, you stop deriding the police officers who have to deal with dozens of shootings every day?

Mayor Groot Can’t Recall Officer’s Name

Chicago Mayor Lori “Groot” Lightfoot and Superintendent David Brown disrespected slain officer Ella French days after she was murdered.

If you can’t take time to learn the name of a murdered officer, maybe you should sit down and STFU.

Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot botched fallen officer Ella French’s name just days after Chicago police superintendent David Brown did the same.

“The horrible tragedy of Ella Frank’s murder,” Lightfoot said during the 2022 budget engagement forum held at Truman College on Thursday.

Mayor Groot is a true piece of garbage. The “woman” despises her police force, and insults them at nearly every turn. She supports the thugs, and no one else.

French, 29, was shot and killed on Saturday night during a traffic stop. She is the first officer since 2018 to be killed in the line of duty in the city. Lightfoot botching her name comes just days after Brown referred to French as “Ella Fitzgerald” twice on Monday.

“The offender who is charged with first degree murder of Ella Fitzgerald,” Brown said at one point during the press conference. “The gun used in this shooting and this murder of Ella Fitzgerald was illegally possessed,” he said at another point.

Brown’s debacle was galactically worse. Groot hates the cops, so she couldn’t care less if she botched French’s name. Brown is the f**king police chief, and he couldn’t remember her name? I’ll bet they both remembered George Floyd’s name, and they say it with reverence.

Mayor Groot Needs To STFU

Leftist Chicago Mayor Lori “Groot” Lightfoot, a proud supporter of defunding the police, went to Twatter to announce the murder of police officer Ella French. French was murdered by one of the many animals wandering the streets of Chicago.

Groot didn’t stop there, however, but I wish she had.

During what was supposed to be a routine traffic stop on Saturday night, a young Chicago police officer, Ella French, was killed when the passengers started shooting. Another officer is fighting for his life.

Mayor Lori Lightfoot mourned the death on Twitter, also noting it was “an official day of mourning for the city.”

Some say we don’t do enough for the police. Others say we do too much. All of this must stop.

Motherf**Ker, you don’t do a damned thing for your police, and this is why they keep being attacked by your thug constituents.

Mayor Groot then wrote, “We have a common enemy: it’s guns & the violence they bring.” I mean, who of us hasn’t seen a gun go off by itself and kill a man? Happens. Every. Day.

Rest in peace, Officer French. A majority of Americans honor your sacrifice.

Mayor Groot Cancels Thanksgiving

While I still consider the worst – and most corrupt – city in America, there is some solace to living in Philadelphia. At least I’m not being led by Mayor Groot, er, Lori Lightfoot. You see, Groot has decided to shut down Chicago – again – to “slow the spread” of the Chinese Wuhan Virus. (As if the eight-month shutdown wasn’t enough.)

Oh did I also mention she’s canceling Thanksgiving?

Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot on Thursday asked all residents to cancel Thanksgiving plans and stay at home unless they need to go to work or school or to tend to essential needs like the doctor’s office or grocery store.

Chicago said it was issuing the 30-day stay-at-home advisory, asking people to refrain from traveling, having guests in their home or leaving for non-essential business “in response to the rapid rise of COVID-19 cases and hospitalizations in the city.”

The city has been effectively shut down since March, you stupid twat, for everything and everyone except Black Lives Matter and Antifa. Funny how they get a pass.

“This is serious life and death,” Lightfoot said during a press conference discussing the state-at-home advisory, adding that the city is “doing what is necessary” to slow the spread of the virus. “We are sounding the alarm that we are at this inflection point where we have to do more than we’ve already done.”

Look, if the citizens of Chicago have no problem with Gestapo tactics, that’s on them. They’re the morons who voted for thus C U Next Tuesday. I do wonder how the business owners feel about another month-long shutdown, though. Eh, it’ll be fine.

Wow, He Really Holds A Grudge

A Chicago gang-banger was sentenced to fifteen years in federal pound-you-in-the-ass prison after he gave an appropriate send off to a rival.

A man who fired a gun into a murder victim’s grave during a burial service has been sentenced to 15 years in federal prison.

On November 22, 2017, Elton Stevenson, of Chicago, drew a handgun at Evergreen Cemetery and fired a single shot into the grave of a man who had been murdered two days earlier.

“You ain’t (expletive), you got what you deserved,” he said before firing the shot.

Well, he may have gotten what he deserved, but shooting him again is just stupid. You live in Chicago, son; so you need all the rounds you can spare. Dumbass.

The Labor Day Massacre

Leftist Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot – wait, that’s a woman? – was on Twitter Monday blaming Republicans for all the gun violence in her shithole city. Wow, this dude’s got some balls on him.

Lightfoot blamed Republicans for gun violence in her city Monday night, telling Republican Texas Sen. Ted Cruz to “keep our name out of your mouth,” and posting a chart that claimed 60% of guns recovered in Chicago come from out of state.

Lightfoot’s tweets came after a West Texas shooting Saturday killed 7 people and wounded 22 others.

“60% of illegal firearms recovered in Chicago come from outside IL—mostly from states dominated by coward Republicans like you who refuse to enact commonsense gun legislation,” Lightfoot said. “Keep our name out of your mouth.”

Hey man, we’re trying, but it’s difficult to do so when your garbage town sees forty murders in a single f**king weekend.

I’ll try to explain this slowly, in case Mayor Gary Coleman is reading. The reason 60% of guns come from out of state is because the thugs cross the border and buy them on the street. There is an enormous black market for guns in our Democratic cities, and most of those weapons have been previously stolen or are the result of straw purchases.

Do you think your crackheads are headed to Iowa to buy a gun legally from the conservative Republican owner of “Bloodbath & Beyond?” The answer is no, bro.

Let’s play Devil’s Advocate for a second, okay guy? Assume 60% of the firearms are coming in from outside states. Show me the causality between the import of guns and Republicans? Put more simply, so your feeble mind can understand, how many conservative Republicans has your department arrested for shootings and/or homicides? I’m going to go out on a limb, and say zero, because if even one MAGA hat-wearing white guy killed a Chicago citizen, it would be the lead story on every news network for six months. (See also: Jussie Smollett.)

Yes, there is violence in Chicago, but not by conservatives and not by legal gun owners. Protecting onto Republicans may help you sleep better at night, Mr. Mayor, but it also makes you look like a small, petty man.

By the way Mister Mayor, I loved you in “Unbreakable.”

The Fat Boys Are Back

Meet Jake Lee of Englewood, Chicago.

Jake is a happy-go-lucky guy, and the only thing he likes more than Twinkies is “allegedly” shooting people during random drive-bys.

Matthew Gibson, 26, was pronounced dead on 22 July after being shot in the head during the incident which prosecutors portrayed as a drive-by shooting gone bad in Park Manor, Chicago.

Dammit, he was just turning his life around!

Video footage from 21 July showed Gibson pulling alongside a white SUV that was waiting to make a left turn at around 5:40am, according to reports from the Chicago Sun-Times.

As the car slowed his passenger, Jake Lee, opened fire on the vehicle with a .40-caliber handgun. However Lee, 27, accidentally shot his driver in the head. Despite his injuries Gibson was able to drive two miles from the scene.

Gotta give Gibson his props; I’m not able to drive two miles with a Charley horse, let alone with a bullet in the skull.

Gibson was found to be brain dead on Monday, and was kept alive only to have his organs harvested. His death was ruled as a homicide.

The man was participating in a drive-by shooting. I’m fairly sure he was pronounced brain dead long before he was shot.

Jussie’s Swirl

Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry to break this news to you, but conservative icon, and stable genius Jussie Smollett has been arrested for orchestrating a fake hate crime. I know, I am disappointed in Jussie, too.

Chicago police on Wednesday said they believe that “Empire” star Jussie Smollett made up claims that he was the target of a racist and homophobic attack — and evidence against him was being presented to a grand jury.

UPDATE: The federal charges, claiming Smollett sent the first hoax letter, have also been approved.

“Case Update: Jussie Smollett is now officially classified as a suspect in a criminal investigation by #ChicagoPolice for filing a false police report (Class 4 felony),” police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi tweeted. “Detectives are currently presenting evidence before a Cook County Grand Jury.”

Under Illinois law, Smollett, 36, could face up to three years in prison if charged and convicted of the crime.

The announcement followed a stream of recent reports that increasingly cast doubt on Smollett’s story, including that two Nigerian brothers told investigators Smollett paid them $3,500 to stage the Jan. 29 incident.

The Chicago P.D. deserves a lot of credit here. They didn’t roll over for some D-list Hollywood actor and simply take his word. They conducted a thorough investigation, and acted professionally.

As for Jussie Smollett, I believe the man has some serious personal and psychological issues. Normal, well-adjusted people do not invent crimes to grant themselves victim status. Smollett wasted countless man hours of the Chicago Police, their prosecutors, and the citizens in general. The man needs to see the inside of a prison.

The Empire Gets Struck Back

Jussie Smollett – an actor I literally never heard of until this week – received some bad news from the Chicago Police Department yesterday. After searching through hundreds of hours of surveillance footage, detectives have not found a shred of evidence regarding his alleged racist, homophobic attack by Trump supporters.

Detectives have reviewed surveillance footage of “Empire” actor Jussie Smollett walking to his downtown Chicago apartment after an early morning visit to a Subway restaurant, but none of the video they’ve watched so far showed him being attacked, a police official said Wednesday.

Wow, it’s almost like the crime never happened.

Smollett, who is black and gay and who plays the gay character Jamal Lyon on the hit Fox television show, said the men beat him, subjected him to racist and homophobic insults, threw an “unknown chemical substance” on him and put a thin rope around his neck before fleeing.

So two unknown men just decided to go out in subzero temperatures carrying a noose and a bottle of bleach? Is that the story I’m supposed to believe?

“We haven’t seen anybody, at this point, matching the description he gave, nobody looks menacing and we didn’t find a container anywhere,” Guglielmi said, referring to a container for the liquid that the actor said was thrown at him.

Smollett was allegedly targeted because he is gay – because everyone knows who Jussie Smollett is, especially early in the morning, on the coldest day of the year. He also claimed this ridiculous tidbit…

Some of the outrage stems from Smollett’s account to detectives that his attackers yelled that he was in “MAGA country,” an apparent reference to the Trump campaign’s “Make America Great Again” slogan, which some critics of the president have decried as racist and discriminatory.

Yeah Jussie, Chicago is the city which put President Trump over the top. It’s the reddest state in the union, just after Los Angeles.

Look, it’s technically possible Smollett was attacked, since he apparently had scrapes on his face and he still had the alleged noose around his neck; which is kinda odd. That said, the percentages take a nosedive when you combine the bleach claim, the “MAGA country” quote, the lack of video evidence, the fact Smollett only sought medical treatment after police advised him to do so, plus the fact neither Smollett nor his publicist uttered a word about the alleged crime since it occurred.

There have been more than a few “hate crime” claims from leftists in the past few years, and while some have been confirmed, the majority have been spread by people with an agenda. As a detective, this story has more red flags than a May Day parade.