True Detective Stories

For the past ten months, the city’s police stations have been effectively closed to walk-in traffic. Yes, you can still make a report at the police station, but you’re separated by Plexiglas and must wear a mask. The same holds true for victims and/or witnesses of crimes. Every police officer knows this policy, because it has been the rule since the Chinese Wuhan Virus came to our shores.

So imagine my surprise when an officer brought an assault victim to the district Tuesday afternoon.

This dimwit didn’t even transport the victim to the division. Instead, he had the victim follow him to the division, so the cop could simply drop him off and flee the scene. Of course, the fact this dimwit stopped by my desk made it easier for me to dispense my snarky sarcasm – or Snarkasmâ„¢ – to him personally.

So dicknuts approached my desk, dropped a pile of paperwork on top and said, “The complainant is downstairs.” Naturally, I replied with, “What are you talking about? The order is we do not bring complainants to the division. It’s been the policy for almost a year.”

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