Weekend Caption Contest

Got A Skateboard Gnarly Rad Caption Contest
(Source: Reuters)

Caption this photo in the comments section. The winners will be posted on Monday, March 29th.

Original Caption: A demonstrator skateboards in front of a burning police vehicle during a protest against a new proposed policing bill, in Bristol, Britain, March 21, 2021. Thousands of demonstrators had converged on the city center, ignoring COVID-19 restrictions, to protest against a government bill going through parliament that would give police new powers to restrict street protests. REUTERS/Peter Cziborra

Jenn Is A Canadian Angel

About a week ago, I mentioned I was really sick, and while I was hoping it wasn’t Covid, Jenn suggested I get tested. I went to a self-test at a local CVS, and after I used the swab I wasn’t sure I did it right. They said the results would come Thursday or Friday.

I was getting antsy yesterday, and when my stress levels hit the roof, I went to Holy Redeemer Hospital. Wow, were they amazing! They got me in immediately, had me walk around with a pulse ox, and monitored my oxygen. They put me into a small room, and the doctor started taking blood, gave me an IV for fluids, gave me an inhaler which really opened up my lungs, and took a chest x-ray.

The x-ray came back okay, the IV definitely helped, and the doctor said I should be good to go in a week or so.

It is not an exaggeration to say I thought I was dying. Holy Redeemer was terrific – as usual – but Jenn’s advice may have saved my life. Thanks Jenn; you’re the greatest.

Adventures In Child-Rearing

Unlike Kevin and Princess P, Erik’s school is utilizing a hybrid school schedule. The school is doing one day in school and one day online. I think it’s a ridiculous scenario which doesn’t benefit the students, but common sense is not entirely common anymore.

Like every kid, Erik needs socialization. Spending all day, every day in your own home can do some pretty severe damage to people’s psyche, and leads to all types of problems, such as depression. The good news is lacrosse practices have begun, and while Erik is suffering from shin splints, he should be good to go for the regular season.

Or so we thought.

Yesterday, one of the administrators called to tell me “because your son, on Monday March 8,was in a classroom and in proximity of a student who tested positive for Covid-19, your son will have to quarantine for Mon-Thu next week.”

Are you f**king kidding me? Erik has no symptoms, and kids are almost always immune to the Chinese Wuhan Virus maladies. But hey, “abundance of caution,” or some other garbage.

Worse still, it means he is banned from lacrosse practice until next week, and will miss the team’s first scrimmage. Also note, his lacrosse season was canceled last year, thanks to the Chinese. As Mrs. Earp said yesterday, “I am so over this.” It’s been over a year since the ChiComs released this plague upon the world, and far too many Americans are still acting like it’s Bubonic Plague.

There was some good news yesterday, however.

Two weeks ago, Kevin took the practice test for a really good private school in the area. (We would rather he not attend the school Kyle and Erik attended. See above.) The test took three hours and had nearly 298 questions.

We didn’t tell Kevin that beforehand. Why stress him out?

Anyway, Mrs. Earp drove him to the test, and sat in on a few speeches about the school while Kevin was taking the practice exam. The administrators said if a student earned a high enough score, they would not have to take the test again. Kevin is a very smart 7th grader, but I told him to just do his best, and whatever happens happens.

Kevin was tired when he got home, but he said he thought he did okay. We received the results yesterday, and he scored an 89. We’re not sure if that’s good enough to get him in – and the tuition is crazy – but he was very pleased with his score.

Worse comes to worse, if the prep school doesn’t work out, there’s a very good charter school close to our home.

Oh New Jersey, Don’t Ever Change

New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy may be one of the most incompetent politicians in the entire country. A rabid leftist, he spends more time clamping on his citizens’ freedoms than, say, helping people get the Chinese Wuhan Virus vaccine.

The Murphy administration unveiled a phone line on Tuesday in an attempt to help people get information on how to get a COVID-19 vaccine shot.

But the automated phone line — 855-568-0545 — tells callers to go to a state website to find out where to find a vaccine provider, something that will not help some elderly New Jerseyans who don’t have a computer or struggle to use one.

That won’t likely change until Monday, Jan. 25, when 250 live agents staff the line from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m.

That’s okay, governor; it’s not like the vaccine is literally a life and death issue. I mean, you can’t make an omelet without killing a few (more) grandparents, amirite?

Brooklyn’s Getting A Little… Anxious

The residents of a Brooklyn Sex House – how it that a thing? – are starting to lose their minds from the lack of sex, thanks to the Chinese Wuhan Virus restrictions. Congratulations kids, this is what marriage feels like. /zing

After 10 months of social distancing, the residents of Brooklyn’s communal “sex houses” are frustrated, to say the least.

“I’d give my left testicle to go to an orgy,” said Kenneth Play, co-founder of Hacienda Villa. Play is one of more than 30 residents, ranging from ages 20-45, who live in the three Bushwick houses (the Lodge, Villa and Tower) operated by the Hacienda sex club.

I wonder if it’s called than because of all the Puerto Ricans? I denounce myself.

Along with the residents, the club has more than 700 members. Before the pandemic, the roommates hosted bacchanals at the Villa once or twice a month. Hundreds of Hacienda members would flirt, soak nude in the backyard hot tub or descend to the mood-lit basement to get it on.

In 2019, the club hosted 19 “play parties” — orgies — as well as 45 other events. In 2020, there were only five before the pandemic.

With all due respect to Brooklyn, I imagine this entire house walks around nude, and the guys constantly shout, “Hey, I’m yanking here!”

“Sexual isolation was difficult to grapple with,” said Violet, a resident and party planner who, like others, asked to withhold her last name.

Actually, I have no problem grappling my… well, I’ve said too much.

Andrew Cuomo Is A Fascist Dictator

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo and the New York Legislature have crafted a laughably unconstitutional bill which would allow Cuomo to arrest and detain anyone who has the Chinese Wuhan Virus, as well as anyone who was in contact with the detainee.

The bill A416, obviously meant to deal with the Wuhan virus, allows for the detention of any carrier of a disease (or contacts that person has had) to be detained in a medical facility or “other appropriate facility or premises designated by the governor.” The governor or his designee can simply have anyone locked up under this if he puts out the order. Talk about troubling and dangerous.

The language is so ambiguous it can give license to lock up anyone, even those without illness, if they just had “contact” with someone who might have been ill and “cases” could mean anything including asymptomatic people. This isn’t even close to being constitutional and violates almost everything you can imagine.

The bill reads like it was penned by Heinrich Himmler. Any citizen with the Chinese Wuhan Virus can be arrested and “detained” solely on the basis of some politician’s “opinion.”

The governor can determine, on his own opinion, if you get locked up. (H/TCBD)

What say you, New York? Are you going to allow this to happen, or will you resist this Nazi?

You can read the bill by clicking here. I’d suggest you take a moment to read this disaster of a bill, especially if you live in New York. If you live in a blue state, legislation may be coming your way, too.

What’s Old Is New Again

While some people are going all in on antibiotics to keep them safe from the Chinese Wuhan Virus, another more severe problem has presented itself to the general public… or it is pubic?

Grasping at straws for COVID-19 treatments may be inadvertently fueling the rise of another hard to treat disease: super gonorrhea.

A World Health Organization (WHO) spokesperson told The Sun that the use of a common drug in misguided attempts to treat coronavirus may be encouraging the sexually transmitted infection (STI) to become resistant to the antibiotic.

Bill Clinton hardest hit.

‘Overuse of antibiotics in the community can fuel the emergence of antimicrobial resistance in gonorrhea,’ by killing off forms of the infection that are vulnerable to the drug, and creating a survival-of-the -fittest environment for variants of the bacterium that are immune to the drug’s effects to thrive in, explained the spokesperson.

‘Azithromycin – a common antibiotic for treating respiratory infections – was used for Covid-19 treatment earlier in the epidemic.

Seriously 2020, die in a fire. And hey, if you want to blame someone for this, blame MelP. She’s the one who gave it to me… um, the story, not the super gonorrhea.

Biden’s Buddy Jails Journalist

A Chinese Communist court sentenced a journalist to four years in prison for reporting on and exposing the severity of the Chinese Wuhan Virus.

I anxiously await Illegitimate President-Elect Joe Biden to come to this woman’s rescue.

A Chinese court handed a four-year jail term on Monday to a citizen-journalist who reported from the central city of Wuhan at the peak of last year’s coronavirus outbreak, on grounds of “picking quarrels and provoking trouble,” her lawyer said.

Zhang Zhan, 37, the first such person known to have been tried, was among a handful of people whose firsthand accounts from crowded hospitals and empty streets painted a more dire picture of the pandemic epicenter than the official narrative.

It goes without saying this prison term is a death sentence. Nearly all Chinese prisoners do not outlive their sentences, and with a compromised “president” running things, Ms. Zhan will likely be dead in six months.

The Death Of An Icon

Charles Franzone, one of the founders of Franzone’s Pizzeria, has passed away from the Chinese Wuhan Virus. Mr. Franzone was 86.

Mr. Charles Franzone, 86, died Wednesday, December 23, 2020 due to complications from COVID-19. Born October 18, 1934. He was the son of the late Samuel and Josephine (DeJohn) Franzone. He was preceded in death by his wife Lucy (Chesco) Franzone, who died December 11, 2004.

In 1955, Mr. Franzone, along with his brothers Louis and the late Joseph, started Franzone’s Restaurant in Bridgeport, PA. As of now, he was the owner and operator of Franzone’s in Conshohocken along with his son and grandson, Charles Jr. and Charles III. Among his many memberships, he belonged to the MSS Club, LAM-Valley Forge lodge 1776 Sons and Daughters of America, the former Plymouth Country Club, over 50 years with the Americans of Italian Heritage Council, and Holy Saviour Parish.

To say the pizza was amazing is a ridiculous understatement. It has a thin crust, and is served “upside-down.” The cheese is on the bottom and the sweetened sauce – which was lauded as the best sauce in the Philly area by Philadelphia Magazine – is drizzled above. It is heaven in a box.

Eventually I took my kids to Franzone’s, and they absolutely loved it. The restaurant is a small, comfortable place, with friendly staff and obviously amazing food. The thirty-minute drive is absolutely worth it.

The original Franzone’s is located in Bridgeport, PA, a few blocks from my maternal grandparent’s house. Every time our family had a gathering at their home, Franzone’s was usually on the menu. We’d walk to the store with my grandfather or one of my uncles, and try not to swipe a slice on the walk home. Going to Franzone’s was one of my best childhood memories, and I cannot describe how sad I am at Mr. Franzone’s passing.

Rest in peace, Mr. Franzone.

Der Führer Floats More PA Shutdowns

Pennsylvania Governor Führer Tom Wolf and his transvestite Health Secretary are contemplating even more draconian restrictions to keep the plebes “safe” from the Chinese Wuhan Virus.

As always, Der Führer’s targets are restaurants and gyms; because why would we want people to be healthy during an alleged pandemic?

CBS3 has learned from three county officials that additional state business and gathering restrictions are expected from Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Wolf and Health Secretary Dr. Rachel Levine this week.

Montgomery County Board of Commissioners Chair Dr. Valerie Arkoosh confirmed in Wednesday’s news conference that she has been part of discussions on the proposed restrictions, but could not confirm details on what was going to be regulated, nor the timing of an announcement.

Officials from Allegheny County also said they have also been part of deliberations with the state, and expect an announcement soon, but said that this would not be “a total shutdown” of businesses.

The fact Allegheny County even mentioned that tidbit makes me believe Herr Wolf is absolutely going to shut down the state, ruin our already horrid economy, and sit idly by while more and more people start drinking heavily, using drugs more frequently, or committing suicides at an alarming rate.

But hey, you can’t make an omelet without killing a few eggs, right?…

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