Herr Wolf Orders Masks Inside Homes

>Pennsylvania’s fascist, Nazi governor Tom Wolf has ordered PA residents wear masks inside their own homes if they have a guest visiting. It is yet another unconstitutional decree from a despicable politician drunk with power.

Pennsylvania’s Democrat Governor Tom Wolf has announced new COVID restrictions, including ordering people to wear masks inside their own homes.

Sorry Adolf, you can go f**k yourself and your unenforceable order.

Additionally, anyone who visits PA from another state must get tested within 72 hours before entering the state or quarantine for 14 days. Residents who traveled to other states must follow same rules when coming home.

Okay, the Cleveland Browns are coming to play the Eagles on Sunday. Will the Browns have to comply? No? I didn’t think so. Get f**ked, fascist.

There will be an exemption for those who commute to and from another state for work or medical treatment.

Why? Is it not possible for commuters to catch the Chinese Wuhan Virus? By your flawed “logic,” you could argue they are more susceptible to catching the virus. Again, go f**k yourself.

Pennsylvanians who have guests over their own homes will be required to wear masks.

Sure thing, Himmler. I cannot wait to see how many police officers will enforce this mandate. The answer is effectively zero. In fact, I may start having YUGE get-togethers at the Earp Ranch now. Come and stop me, you arrogant, ignorant prick.

Planet Fatness

Well, I should be looking like this by Christmastime, thanks to Philadelphia’s drunken, douchebag mayor. Jim “I’ll Have Another Drink” Kenney will be shutting down the city tomorrow through January 2nd, and among the soon-to-be-dead are gyms and fitness centers.

I’ve been really good at getting to the gym three to four times a week, and alternating days with ten-mile bike rides. I’m currently sitting at 188 pounds, and I’d like to get below 185 -where I was before the March shutdown.

None of this makes any sense. Essentially, the mayor is claiming gyms need to shut down because the members may pass on the Chinese Wuhan Virus, even after the local Planet Fitness spokesman said not one of the gyms has had an outbreak since reopening in September. Not one. Worse still, why would you punish the people who are working their asses off to stay healthy. That’s likely the reason we’ve had no outbreaks… because we’re working out every other day.

Instead, this dick would have us locked in our homes, gaining weight, and making us more susceptible to catch the virus. It’s the most ridiculous paradox I have ever seen.

Our jackass mayor’s capricious reasoning was based upon Philadelphia’s 1,900 Chinese Wuhan Virus deaths, and 55,000 positive tests. So, in Philadelphia, the fatality rate of the virus is 3.4 percent. OH MY GOD SHUT IT DOWN!

Today is my last day at the gym until next year, and after talking to some of the employees at my gym, they are less than pleased. They will be unemployed through the New Year, and some of them have no idea how they’ll make ends meet, let alone pay for a nice Christmas for their families.

It took me two months to get back into shape, only to be banned from my gym thanks to a petulant drunken dictator. Pretty soon, it’ll be too cold to ride the bike, and with no gym, I’m going to have to find other ways to stay slightly less fat.

The “Birthplace Of Freedom”

The drunken jackass leftist mayor of Philadelphia will announce another lockdown in a matter of minutes. Jim “I’ll Have Another Drink” Kenney is expected to close the city – again – because of the Chinese Wuhan Virus. (The lockdown is expected to last until New Year’s Day.)

Philadelphia city officials are set to announce new restriction on activities like indoor dining and gyms today at at 1 p.m. news conference.

My gym was closed for six months thanks to my piece of shite mayor and my a-hole governor. I am just now getting back into shape, and these pricks are going to shut it all down again? F**k. You.

Philadelphia officials on Friday were weighing new restrictions that could stop indoor dining, close gyms and theaters, ban indoor gatherings, and ask companies to return office employees to remote work, according to people briefed on a potential plan by Mayor Jim Kenney’s administration Friday.

All this will do is bankrupt small businesses, stress out the average citizen, and plummet the local economy. Buy hey, Philadelphia; keep voting for Democrats. Morons.

Retail stores, barbershops, and salons would be permitted to remain open — with enforcement of mask-wearing and limited capacity — and construction work would also continue. But the city would prohibit public and private indoor gatherings of any size.

Uh-huh. I absolutely believe this prick will still allow fans to attend Eagles games, though.

(And no, the Philadelphia Inquirer gets no links from me.)

You can see the fascist mayor’s list by clicking here. I will enjoy ignoring every one of these “rules.”

Mayor Groot Cancels Thanksgiving

While I still consider the worst – and most corrupt – city in America, there is some solace to living in Philadelphia. At least I’m not being led by Mayor Groot, er, Lori Lightfoot. You see, Groot has decided to shut down Chicago – again – to “slow the spread” of the Chinese Wuhan Virus. (As if the eight-month shutdown wasn’t enough.)

Oh did I also mention she’s canceling Thanksgiving?

Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot on Thursday asked all residents to cancel Thanksgiving plans and stay at home unless they need to go to work or school or to tend to essential needs like the doctor’s office or grocery store.

Chicago said it was issuing the 30-day stay-at-home advisory, asking people to refrain from traveling, having guests in their home or leaving for non-essential business “in response to the rapid rise of COVID-19 cases and hospitalizations in the city.”

The city has been effectively shut down since March, you stupid twat, for everything and everyone except Black Lives Matter and Antifa. Funny how they get a pass.

“This is serious life and death,” Lightfoot said during a press conference discussing the state-at-home advisory, adding that the city is “doing what is necessary” to slow the spread of the virus. “We are sounding the alarm that we are at this inflection point where we have to do more than we’ve already done.”

Look, if the citizens of Chicago have no problem with Gestapo tactics, that’s on them. They’re the morons who voted for thus C U Next Tuesday. I do wonder how the business owners feel about another month-long shutdown, though. Eh, it’ll be fine.

True Detective Stories

Like many workplaces across the globe, the Chinese Wuhan Virus has hit my division hard. Many of us likely suffered through it in March, as most of us were severely sick for a few days. It’s now giving us a curtain call, and two members of my division tested positive, and close to thirty police officers downstairs tested positive as well.

The virus necessitated some changes to our normal protocols, and our new “prime directive” is no one will be brought to the division for face-to-face interviews. The order was given to protect the officers and the victims/witnesses.

So, knowing what you know about the police officers in my division, what do you think happened?

Yesterday, an officer from the one of the police districts called and said he was bringing up a robbery arrest. While talking to the detective, he asked if he should bring up the victim. The detective said no, and explained the policy. The officer agreed… and brought the victim here anyway.

A half hour later, another officer from the same district called for another robbery – this time without an arrest. He asked if he should bring up the victim, and again we related the policy and told him no. We would interview her over the phone.

Not only did this dullard bring the victim to the division, but he brought her upstairs and sat her outside the window. Oh, and spoiler alert. she wasn’t wearing a mask.

1,452 days and I’m gone. I can last 1,452 days.

Moose Outside Shoulda Told Ya

It would appear The Great White North is looking to cancel Christmas. Apparently the Chinese Wuhan Virus has either destroyed many Canuck economies, or scared them into submission.

Seriously Canada, be better.

Roger Wiebe of Edmonton and his wife are cancelling Christmas this year because they can’t afford it.

Weibe said he lost his job at a medical supply warehouse in June due to a COVID-19-related work slowdown. His wife, a legal assistant, lost her job in February. Neither has been able to land another job as the pandemic drags on, and they’re struggling.

“We can’t afford presents or anything like that,” said Wiebe. “I don’t even think we’re going to be in the mood to even put up a tree or anything this year. … Christmas is going to be another day.”

While the Roger’s predicament is obviously heartbreaking, my problem here is their give-up attitude. Like many countries across the globe, Canadian politicians have instilled an irrational fear in their citizens. They purposefully crashed their economies and locked people in their houses for eight months now with no end in sight. Remember in March we were told “Fifteen days to stop the spread?”

This “pandemic” has become completely political. It’s less about the virus and more about control. Hell, some of our most despicable politicians – like the murderous Andrew Cuomo – is now saying the Chinese Wuhan Virus may not be so bad. Amazing he said that right after the election.

Many other Canadians won’t go as far as cancelling Christmas, but will have pared-down celebrations this year as fears of the virus, physical gathering restrictions and a weakened economy put a damper on holiday plans.

Look, if the Wiebe family wants to shut themselves off from the world, that’s their prerogative. But unless they’re over seventy years old, and have health problems, this virus will likely not kill them.

There is no way I’m canceling Christmas. In fact, I’d like it to be the biggest Christmas ever, because you can be damned sure Trudeau and his politician buddies will be spending their time with multitudes of their families, friends, and coworkers.

A Very Ponderous Woman

Meet Marlo Walton of Jacksonville, Florida.

Marlo is a reasonable gal, so when she rented a room at a Jacksonville hotel, she expected certain perks; like breakfast and an open pool. Sadly, she received neither, but Marlo persisted.

According to the report, a hotel employee told police a woman, later identified by police as Marlo Walton, 34, began arguing with her in the lobby because there was no breakfast available at the hotel and because the pool was closed because of COVID-19.

A man waiting in line at the hotel lobby told police when he saw the woman yelling with the guest service receptionist, he told her to settle down. The report redacts what happened next, but goes on to say the man was “in fear for his life” and left the lobby.

Probably a bad idea, because Marlo stole the man’s truck moments later.

Police said Walton took off in a truck and ended up in the retention pond across the street from the hotel. The truck was partially submerged.

Walton was arrested and faces charges for theft of a motor vehicle, criminal mischief, battery, assault and aggravated battery.

When the manager told Marlo to go soak her head, he didn’t mean to take a vehicle with her.

Sean Connery Wept

Remember all those posts about Britons having sex in public? Yeah, those stories are about to dry up… just like English males’ members.

Single people and couples who do not live together will be banned again from having sex during England’s second national lockdown – unless they have formed a support bubble.

No American would abide by this ridiculous rule, but England? Yeah, they’ll likely submit.

Under the latest strict measures coming into effect from Thursday, people are not allowed to visit friends and family living in other households indoors or in a private garden.

This means overnight stays are strictly off the cards until December 2 when the lockdown period is due to end, unless transmission rates have not successfully dropped.

So the government is going to order young, virile men and women from taking a trip to Pound Town during a quarantine, when there is literally nothing else to do? I’d love to be present when the Bobbies try to enforce that ruling. Watch out for flying didoes and bra-launched missiles, lads.

Not-So-Ready ReadyCare

For the past few days Kevin has been suffering through severe allergies. He was sneezing early on, but now he’s coughing and trying to cough up mucus. We kept Kevin home yesterday because we didn’t want the school to overreact, so Mrs. Earp took him to Temple’s ReadyCare facility.

The insurance provided by the city is top-notch. (It makes up for our pitiful salaries.) A few years ago, the city hooked up with Temple University’s ReadyCare system, and told us to always go there first before, say, to a hospital. Apparently it costs the city less to go to Temple, and for the most part, they were always very good.

Mrs. Earp brought Kevin to the local ReadyCare, signed in, and explained the problem. Immediately the intake nurse said, “If he’s coughing, he has Covid.”

The missus looked at her blankly, since not one doctor or nurse so much as approached Kevin, let alone examined him. The staff effectively told them to leave, and Mrs. Earp called me soon after. These people were lucky I was working, because I would have thrown a fit in that building.

Frustrated, Mrs. Earp decided to take Kevin to Holy Redeemer’s ReadyCare, and not only did they not shoo them away, they examined him and had him take a Chinese Wuhan Virus test, just in case. The doc believes it’s allergies, but they want to be sure.

Kevin will have to stay home for a few days until he gets the test results, but it’s better than dealing with the Temple people. I mean, if you cannot be professional, why would anyone trust you?

We will never, ever go to Temple ReadyCare again. Ever.

Later, Gaiter

Continuing the idiocy of the World Health Organization and the Dr. Faucis of the world, “scientists” are claiming neck gaiters are just as good as masks during the Chinese Wuhan Virus outbreak.

Neck gaiters work just as well as masks at stopping the spread of COVID-19 — despite a past study that suggests otherwise, according to new research.

Researchers at Virginia Tech found that the roll-up face gear blocked 100 percent of large particles from another person’s sneeze or cough.

The protective wear also trapped up to 90 percent of large particles from escaping, along with 50 percent of superfine particles — roughly on par with cloth face masks, the scientists said.

My niece plays Ultimate Frisbee for the University of Pittsburgh, and when I helped her fundraiser, I got one of these gaiters. (I never knew they were called that.) That said, it is my go-to protection when I hit the gym, and it is much more comfortable than a mask. Just my $0.02.