I’m The Butt Of The Joke

Today is colonoscopy day!

After spending an hour or so on the toilet yesterday, and another hour at 5am prepping for today’s extravaganza, I should by now be in the medical center being scoped.

It’s a necessary procedure, especially for people fifty years and older, but considering it could very well save my life, I don’t mind the awful prep.

Obviously I will be pretty scarce today between the surgery and the anesthesia, but I have posts set up for your entertainment. If the posts aren’t enough, I assume the colonoscopy itself should entertain you immensely. Wish me luck, and hope they don’t find any lumps.

The Dreaded Apparatus

Well, it’s going to be a fun twenty-four hours. Last night I started my tour with a lovely visit to Internal Affairs. I obviously can’t talk about the incident, but I – and a dozen of my coworkers – are the “possible target.” The short version is the complaint doesn’t state which person wronged her, so the department subpoenaed everyone.

After work I had to drive to Philadelphia International Airport, arguably the worst airport on Earth – Aden Adde International Airport in Mogadishu is much cleaner and the workers are friendlier – to pick up the boy. Naturally he didn’t bring his laptop – like I asked him – because he said it was “a hassle” to take on the plane.

No Kyle, a hassle is buying you a laptop and spending my Christmas vacation running all the updates and scans you’ve been ignoring!

Last, but not least, my colonoscopy appointment is scheduled for 1pm. It’s not the procedure, but it’s the meeting before the procedure. The doc will likely give me the prep liquid which tastes like liquid farts, which will keep me on the toilet for ninety minutes. (That is not an exaggeration.) Here’s hoping the procedure is after Christmas, so I can lose all that holiday weight.

So, how’s your day going?

UPDATE: My procedure is scheduled for December 9th.