The Fart Of War

Dawn MeikleMeet Dawn Meikle. Pretty hot, huh? Sadly, like most smoking hot women, Dawn is batshit insane.

Donald Meikle told police that his wife, Dawn, elbowed him and kicked him out of bed the morning of Friday, Dec. 11. Dawn told police her husband was repeatedly passing gas.

The fight escalated as the flatulence continued. Dawn Meikle reportedly ran to the bathroom to call 911 and also discharged a canister of pepper spray. (H/T – L-Frame)

Okay, you may think this is not a proportional response, but in Dawn’s defense, she looked like this before being exposed to the noxious fumes.

Thankfully, I am one of the only men on Earth who doesn’t break wind – unless I’m wearing a windbreaker, of course. I’m not kidding. I have a rare condition which makes it impossible to – as my kids are fond of saying – “toot.” What’s more, my bowel movements smell like fresh cut flowers, and sparkle like a kaleidoscope when the sunlight hits them. True story!