Many of you regular readers are vaguely familiar with my coworker, Diego the Idiot Detective. Diego is arguably the dumbest person I have ever known, but what he lacks in intelligence, he also lacks in common sense.
Most detective divisions in the department are working shortened shifts in an order to practice social distancing. A few people come in early and are relieved by others after a few hours. For the most part, it has worked well, and we haven’t had a positive Wuhan illness in a few weeks.
That said, we’re obviously short on manpower, and we need every detective to be available to come to work and do their job.
Enter Diego the Idiot Detective.
The other day, Diego started whining about his back, saying it was “killing him.” (As if I’d be that lucky.) Diego is on the portly – read: obese – side, so back problems are not a surprise. He said all this in front of the sergeant, because that is Diego’s M.O. The man telegraphs sick days ahead of time, so it’s not a “surprise” when he calls out.
Thee sergeant, to his credit, interrupted a bitch session, stating, “You know we’re running a skeleton crew, right? You’re effectively working half days, and you’re going to call out sick while we’re short?”
Immediately cowed, because he’s a pussy, Diego responded, “Well, I’ll probably be good to go. No worries.”
The next morning, Diego called out sick for Wednesday, and said he would not return until Monday.
Stunts like these are why I cannot wait to leave this department. This never would have happened even ten years ago, because the peer pressure would be too great. Now, everyone is out for him or herself. There’s a special place in Hell for people who purposely screw over their coworkers.