True Detective Stories

Sunday evening wasn’t too terrible, considering how awful Sundays are in Philadelphia. We had a good amount of jobs, but none of them were really newsworthy.

Take Diego the idiot Detective’s first job. One of the officers in our building brought in a domestic assault. The woman was struck by her boyfriend, but there was no arrest. So basically, Dummy only had to take a short interview with the victim, then usher her out of the office. It should have been a ten-minute job, tops.

But this is Diego we’re talking about.

The officer waited for the victim, so he could transport her home. After about twenty minutes, Diego still wasn’t finished his interview, and the officer asked, “How long do his interviews last?” I responded, “Depends. If sports is on the TV, it’s five minutes. If not, a good half hour.” The officer rolled his eyes, and he was right to do so…

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