Independence Day Is Tomorrow, Dolts

The LAPD opened the July 4th weekend early, after blowing up a South L.A. neighborhood.

17 people were injured in South Los Angeles on Wednesday evening when an LAPD bomb squad attempted to safely detonate about 5,000 pounds of seized illegal fireworks and their containment vehicle ended up exploding.

Police detonated the devices at 7:37 p.m., believing that the vehicle would be able to contain the explosion, but there was a “total catastrophic failure of that containment vehicle,” Moore said.

Yes, this was all the fault of the containment vehicle, and it had nothing to do with the officers. /eyeroll

“Clearly protocols were followed and pursued, but something happened in that containment vehicle that should have not happened and we don’t know why,” the chief said. “We intend to find out why.”

Officers arrested Arturo Cejas III, a man in his 20s who resided at the home with the fireworks, on suspicion of reckless or malicious possession of a destructive device. He is being held on $500,000 bail.

The LAPD likely arrested Cejas to divert attention away from their incompetence, and to avoid the pending lawsuits from those who were injured.

Ground Control To Starship SN9

On Tuesday, the unmanned SpaceX Starship SN9 was attempting to land back on Earth when things went… awry.

SpaceX Starship SN9 exploded yesterday while attempting to land and Cosmic Perspective captured the whole thing in slow motion.

High-speed cameras were rolling during the SpaceX Starship SN9 test flight in South Texas. For this mission we positioned a camera focusing exclusively on the landing pad to capture all the action during the last few moment of decent. The rest was history.

This is truly incredible footage.

The video is below the fold, if you’re interested. And the Starship was unmanned.

Continue reading “Ground Control To Starship SN9”

China Screech

A Chinese man and his girlfriend were almost killed when the man bit into an iPhone battery.

This is a video of a phone battery exploding after a man in China bit into it. If you’re looking for a reason why he did it, none was given beyond, “He likes to put things in his mouth.” Seriously.

“I’m the person involved,” she wrote. “…I haven’t been disfigured; thanks for your concern. He didn’t [bite the battery] because he wanted to test its authenticity; actually my partner just has the habit of putting things into his mouth and nibbling on them. I’m okay, just my bangs were burnt a little bit. My first reaction was ‘Are my eyebrows okay?'”

She added that the battery her partner had bitten into wasn’t a genuine iPhone battery.

Wait, so you’re telling me China manufactures products which aren’t on the up-and-up? I am shocked and appalled!

You can see the bizarre video below the fold…

Continue reading “China Screech”

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina Exploded

Deranged Hollywood “actress” Gwyneth Paltrow is apparently selling candles which smell like her vagina. Why anyone would purchase a candle which smells like the East River is beyond me, but I digress. One London woman purchased the meat-flap candle, and it subverted her expectations.

A VAGINA-scented candle by Gwyneth Paltrow exploded into flames causing an “inferno” in a woman’s living room. Jody Thompson, 50, won the risque product sold by the Hollywood star and wellness guru in an online quiz.

The candle is described on Gwyneth’s Goop site as “funny, gorgeous, sexy and beautifully unexpected”.

You know what else was unexpected? The raging fire coming from Gwyneth’s vagina, er, candle.

But Jody was taken by ­surprise after lighting it when a 50cm flame leapt from the candle and out of the glass jar. The media consultant told The Sun: “The candle exploded and emitted huge flames, with bits flying everywhere.

Not for nothing, but if you purchase a vagina candle, you really should expect it to occasionally have a hot flash or an gushing orgasm.

Comrade Stalin Is Not Amused

Explosions and fires are nothing new for Volgograd – formerly Stalingrad – especially after a six-month siege of the city by the German army. This, however, was something new and exciting to the people of the Volga.

13 were injured Monday afternoon when a gas station in Volgograd, Russia exploded. Apparently a fire had broken out at the gas station and firefighters were unable to prevent it from getting out of control and turning into a scene from a Michael Bay movie. If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like if a gas station exploded, it is exactly what you expect.

My favorite part is how everybody driving just casually makes a U-turn and nopes out of there. It’s Russia, so I half expected them to continue about their business and drive towards the comically large explosion like nothing had happened.

The average Russian doesn’t care about anything but hot babes and cold vodka. They probably didn’t even look in their rear-view mirrors when the station exploded.

You can see the video below the fold…

Continue reading “Comrade Stalin Is Not Amused”

The Shocker

A group of nerds decided to set off an explosion in a tunnel and film the resulting shockwave. Now, I’m no scientist, but this is more than a little bad-ass.

This is a video of a team setting off an explosion in a tunnel and capturing some video of the shockwave it produced traveling by them. Pretty wild, right?

It is by far the quickest and easiest way to dry yourself when you’re just out of the shower and running late for work. You can see the video below the fold.

Continue reading “The Shocker”

SpaceX Rocket Explodes

NINTCHDBPICT000263461077There was an explosion at Cape Canaveral yesterday, as an unmanned rocket exploded. Thankfully, there are no reports of injuries.

A ROCKET has exploded at Cape Canaveral sending smoke and flames shooting through the sky and shaking nearby buildings. NASA says SpaceX was conducting a test firing of its unmanned rocket when the blast occurred Thursday morning.

The first explosion occurred shortly before 9am with a second blast following about 20 minutes later. Buildings several miles away shook from the blast, and multiple explosions continued for several minutes. A cloud of dark smoke filled the overcast sky.

The blast has taken with it Facebook’s first satellite costing the company a whopping £150 million.

Bawahahahaha! Where’s the “Like” button?

Bikini Barista Injured In Explosion

Courtney Campbell Bikini BaristaMeet Courtney Campbell. Courtney is a “bikini barista” at a drive-thru coffee stand in Washington state. Courtney was severely injured when her shop exploded.

The Sinners and Saints Coffee Co. stand in Everett, Washington, suddenly burst into flames just before 5 p.m. Courtney Campbell managed to flee the blazing kiosk, but was badly burned in the inferno.

Campbell was taken to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle for treatment. At the time of this writing, her current condition is not known.

This post was updated. Courtney has died of her injuries. Rest in peace.