Happy Father’s Day!

Well, today is Father’s Day, a holiday which commemorates some troglodyte who was lucky enough to inseminate a woman.

I’ve never been a big fan of Father’s Day; in my opinion it’s a made-up holiday like Juneteenth and, say, Veterans Day. (I kid, I kid.) Mother’s Day is actually a thing, and they deserve their own day. Guys like me, who will be watching NASCAR and playing PlayStation all day, don’t usually celebrate – or even know the date of – Father’s Day.

I mean, I’d like to think I am at least a below-average father – Kyle usually tells me that – but I work hard to put food on the table, and take an interest in the kids’ activities.

For the rest of you real fathers, I hope you enjoy the day. My only wish at this point is to have hamburgers and hot dogs for dinner. That is the zenith of my expectations.

Julia Wants To Move To Taiwan

A Father’s Day promotion by EVA Air will take fathers and their children on a flight to nowhere. The catch? You get to travel in a Hello Kitty plane! Shut up and take my money!

EVA Air wants to honor Father’s Day in the most dad way possible: By turning this plane RIGHT around.

EVA Air announced it will be honoring Father’s Day in Taiwan (celebrated on Aug. 8) by selling tickets to a flight to nowhere. The plane, decorated in Hello Kitty livery, will take off from Taipei Taoyuan Airport and will land several hours later back at the same location. All this work in an effort to get in the air again despite travel restrictions to other nations.

According to One Mile at a Time, the flight will be in the air for just under three hours. It will take off and fly toward Japan reaching a cruising altitude of 25,000 feet. It will then turn and fly over Taiwan’s eastern coastline, pass Guishan Island, the east coast of Hua, and then fly south to Eluanbi and Xiaoliuqiu, before turning around to head back.

Now while most Americans would not be interested in this, a certain 11-year old redhead princess is all for it.

Happy Father’s Day!

Today is Father’s Day; in my opinion, the most useless “holiday” of all time – with the exception of Labor Day. I understand Mother’s Day, since they do the birthin’ and such, but we’re really just there for thirty seconds, and boom, impregnation. I usually tell the kids to ignore the holiday, but I know Julia and Kevin will make me some cards.

The good news is I’m off today, and I’m told I can have my choice of dinner – *cough* burgers *cough* – but I wanted to salute some real dads on their day.

It’s your day, guys. Lie on the couch, drink some beer, and kick the kids off the PlayStation. That’s my plan, anyway.

Happy Father’s Day!

Mr. New DadToday is Father’s Day; the one day a year I – probably – don’t have to mow the lawn, be a taxi service, or spend time with my rotten kids.

Oh wait, I actually typed that, didn’t I?

Now normally, most women would treat me like a gardener – when the seeds have been planted, you throw away the envelope – but Mrs. Earp let me hang around for a while to watch the kids grow up and break up their fistfights. It’s a pretty good gig, even though I generally suck at it.

I also wanted to recognize new Dads Dr. Evil, Smite, and Jenn’s husband, who have their hands full with their respective princesses. This is what you have to look forward to…

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Happy Father’s Day!