Judge: Strippers Can Receive Bailouts

A Federal Judge in Michigan has ruled Gentleman’s Clubs are eligible for Wuhan Virus federal assistance, claiming businesses cannot be discriminated against. And let’s be honest, the clubs give guys more joy than a Walmart or Amazon.

Strip club workers and owners, losing their shirts in this coronavirus pandemic, cannot be barred from emergency federal loans and grants, a federal judge ruled on Monday.

U.S. District Judge Matthew Leitman sided with plaintiffs, led by the DV Diamond Club in Flint, Michigan, and said the Small Business Administration — in doling out finds from the Paycheck Protection Program — cannot exclude legal businesses deemed to be of a “prurient sexual nature.”

The PPP, created through the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security (CARES) Act, was designed to draw maximum applicants and make “loan guarantees widely available to small businesses across the commercial spectrum.”

The judge made a salient point. Congress did not pick winners and losers when it comes to bailouts, so any legal business must be eligible. It’s almost as if the judge knows the law, and Congress didn’t think this bailout business through.

Awful Governors Demand Fed Bailout

Leftist New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, and Mitt Romney RINO Maryland Governor Larry Hogan are asking for a $500 billion – with a b – bailout for their states for Wuhan virus costs.

Go. F**k. Yourselves.

Republican Maryland Gov. Larry Hogan and Democratic New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo have issued a joint statement requesting a $500 billion bailout from Congress to cover coronavirus costs.

Hogan and Cuomo, the chair and top Democrat at the National Governors Association respectively, say state budgets have been overdrawn due to the pandemic, according to NPR. The news comes as Congress has already spent trillions on bailouts for the private sector and individual Americans.

How about this: your states get absolutely nothing, and if you want to recoup your losses, dip into your ridiculously high tax rates. Cuomo, for his part, has been trying to slash Medicaid in his disgusting state and allowed more than a few hospitals to simply close their doors. You’ll get nothing and like it!

“In the absence of unrestricted fiscal support of at least $500 billion from the Federal government, states will have to confront the prospect of significant reductions to critically important services all across this country,” Hogan and Cuomo wrote. “Hampering public health, the economic recovery, and — in turn — our collective effort to get people back to work.”

Actually Hogan, you and Cuomo made this happen, so you can fix it. You two probably don’t understand this, but a federal bailout isn’t free money from the government; it’s taxpayer money stolen from hard-working Americans who were smart enough to avoid your awful states.

You guys need cash now? Call J.G. Wentworth.