Your Olympic Babe O’ The Day

Meet Pauline Ferrand-Prevot. The lovely and talented 29-year old French cyclist will be competing in Tokyo, and she comes with a fairly impressive resume.

Pauline Ferrand-Prévot (born 10 February 1992) is a French multi-discipline bicycle racer, who currently rides for UCI Elite Mountain Bike team Absolute–Absalon–BMC in cross-country cycling. Ferrand-Prévot has also competed in road bicycle racing and cyclo-cross during her career, winning the world title in each discipline. During the 2015 season, aged just 23, she became the first person ever – in the history of cycling – to simultaneously hold the World road title, World cyclo-cross title and World cross-country mountain bike title.

Ferrand-Prévot is a six-time elite world champion and a thirteen-time elite national champion across the various disciplines in which she competes. She was the youngest competitor in the Women’s road race at the 2012 Summer Olympics, in which she finished eighth.

Yeah, she’s not exactly a slouch, but if she would like to slouch herself on my couch… well, I’ve said too much. There are more pictures below the fold…

Continue reading “Your Olympic Babe O’ The Day”

Wonder Why French People Smell?

Apparently it’s because their train toilets dispense waste straight onto the railroad tracks.

This is an ultra short video of the bathroom aboard a SNCF train in France with a toilet that just empties onto the tracks below via a short pipe. Simple enough. I also like to imagine this is how the toilets on planes are too and I’ve peed all over the country from 30,000 feet. It’s the little things, you know?

Keep going for the video while I throw out the collection of unusual rocks I’ve collected on train tracks.

Now I’m not a smart man, but hasn’t France had plumbing for, I don’t know, at least ten years now? Is it that difficult to place running toilets on trains, because I know I’ve seen them here in America once or twice. Jesus France, get your shit together!

The video is below the fold…

Continue reading “Wonder Why French People Smell?”

The Most Obvious Story… Evah!

A group of “naturalists” – read: nudists – in France are complaining people are harshing their mellow by *gasp* staring at them while they frolic in the nude. Oh my God, the horror!

Naturists in a Paris park have complained voyeurs and exhibitionists are spoiling their naked enjoyment.

The nudists say they are being pestered in an area of the city’s Bois de Vincennes where for the last two years they have been allowed to shed their clothes.

An area of almost two acres of the park is set aside for naturists between April and October. When it opened in 2017, City officials insisted no inappropriate behaviour would be tolerated, a message reiterated on a sign at the entrance to the zone.

But a number of naturists have complained their peace is being disturbed by the “reprehensible” actions of some non-nudists.

Your choices in life come with inherent risks. When your choice is to be naked in public, the risks are people will stop and stare. Moose outside shoulda told ya.

Caption Contest Winners

The Lemme Stand Next To Your Fire Caption Contest is now over.

Top Five Entries:
5. Sadly this photo shows only a small part of France being destroyed by fire…but at least it’s a start. – J-Dub
4. After Germany refused to accept the French offer of surrender, France faces yet another existential crisis where they must surrender to themselves while claiming victory over the enemy. Great Britain has offered kindling. – Sully
3. Wyatt regrets the earlier taco binge after riot duty runs long. – Jenn
2. Global warming? My Ass!!! – MelP

WINNER! – French Nuts roasting on an open fire, Jacques Frost nipping at Al Gore. Wealth redistribution disguised as Climate Change, and riots burning every store. – Jim

An Easier Way For Frenchmen To “Oui Oui”

A French company has installed very open, very public, standing urinals throughout Pari. The urinoirs allow men to walk up, unzip, and urinate into what looks like a mailbox. Not. Creepy. At. All.

A new set of eco-friendly but completely exposed urinals deployed on the streets of Paris are provoking uproar from locals.

One of the bright red “urinoirs” installed on the Ile Saint-Louis, not far from Notre Dame cathedral and overlooking tourist boats passing on the Seine, has caused particular indignation.

The designer of the “Uritrottoir” – a combination of the French words for urinal and pavement – said it offered an “eco solution to public peeing”. The device is essentially a box with an opening in the front and a floral display on top, containing straw which transforms into compost for use in parks and gardens.

One wonders if the urinoirs accommodate men of all sizes. I mean, if you have a rowboat instead of a cruise ship, you may be forced to get dangerously close to the mailbox.

Pepé Le Pew Wept

French may be the language of love, but France’s reputation of a romantic country is about to crumble like bleu cheese.

Men in France could be fined €350 (US$435) if they follow women in the street, whistle at them, make loud comments about their appearance or ask for their phone numbers, according to a draft proposal to combat “sexual contempt.”

The new report will be presented to the French government in the coming days, local media report. The plans come from a parliamentary working group set up by France’s secretary of state for equality, Marlene Schiappa. The politicians behind the proposal suggest that men who “violate women’s freedom of movement in public space” should face a minimum fine of €90 for those who can pay on the spot. If the fine is delayed, it could reach €350, the report says. The document will be presented to Schiappa, Minister of Justice Nicole Belloubet, and Minister of the Interior Gerard Collomb.

I was going to suggest Germany invade France again to get the country’s shit straightened out, but Germany has more than enough problems of their own. *cough* Islamic invasion *cough*

Phone Goof

There has been a prevailing population problem in Europe for the last few decades. The majority of couples in Western Europe are either bearing a solo child or foregoing having children altogether.

France’s uber-liberal president Emmanuel Macron is doing nothing to stem this tide.

Wolf-whistling is set to be banned in France as the government declares war on men hassling women in public. Under new plans bugging women for their telephone numbers and following them could also be prohibited.

The crackdown comes after surveys show virtually all French women have been harassed on public transport, in the street or elsewhere at some time.

France’s new leader, President Emmanuel Macron, has pledged to end this during his election campaign this year.

Yes, by all means, don’t end the flood of immigrants or the daily Islamic terror attacks; concentrate on criminalizing men who ask women out, âne.

I Fart In Your General Direction

french-incivility-brigadeParis, France is the Paris of cities. As such, it cannot be seen tolerating vandalism, urination, or mimes on its pristine thoroughfares.

Enter the French Incivility Brigade.

Paris has deployed officers armed with tear gas and batons as part of an 1,800-strong ‘incivility brigade’ to tackle anti-social behavior.

The town hall said Parisians had hung on to their dirty habits despite several awareness campaigns so it had no choice but to enforce fines. The new uniformed officers will hand out €68 penalties for offences including littering, spitting and leaving behind dog poo.

Finally! France is getting rid of their dog poo problem. They’re doing nothing about their Islamist invasion, but at least Mohammad won’t soil his sandals on canine excrement.