Germany’s New World Oder

The Chinese Wuhan Virus has not only killed millions of people, but also decimated businesses and their employees. In Germany, none were hit harder than the angels of mercy working the sex trade.

The number of people registered as sex workers with German authorities declined sharply last year as coronavirus restrictions shut brothels for months, official data showed Thursday.

I’m certain some men suffered a below-the-belt decline as well.

Legislation in 2002 legalized and regulated prostitution in Germany, giving sex workers social benefits, and they are now obliged to register. But brothels have been closed for much of the time since the COVID-19 pandemic hit in March 2020 as part of wider lockdowns.

At the end of last year, 24,940 prostitutes were officially registered with authorities, the Federal Statistical Office said. That was down from some 40,400 a year earlier — a 38% drop.

A 38% drop? Holy underwear! We have to protect our phoney baloney jobs here, gentlemen! We must do something about this immediately! Immediately! Immediately! Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!

Run For Your Lives, It’s A Bombshell!

A German jogger was running through the forest when he noticed a bag containing what he thought were hand grenades. The jogger called the police and the bomb squad was notified. An investigation, however, found something more… unusual.

A jogger reported finding a bag containing the device Monday in a forest outside the city of Passau, near Germany’s borders with Austria and the Czech Republic.

The discovery of forgotten or hidden munitions is still a regular occurrence in Germany more than 75 years after the end of World War II.

But when a bomb squad arrived and inspected the contents of the bag, they determined it was a rubber grenade replica. The condoms and lubricant in the bag helped inform the hypothesis about the device’s intended use, police told German news agency DPA.

Now, I’m no novice in the arena of love, but I have never – ever – heard of hand grenade-shaped sex toys. I mean, do you pull a pun before inserting, or does the grenade start buzzing after a few minutes? Help me out here!

We’re Outta Here Like Vladimir

President Trump has decided to withdraw nearly 10,000 American troops from Germany, forcing Angela Merkel and other NATO leaders to carry their share of the security load.

President Donald Trump ordered the Pentagon to withdraw 9,500 troops from Germany, administration officials said Friday, in a move that would mark a large drawdown in the US military presence in Europe.

Currently, there are 34,500 US troops stationed in Germany, and the move would reduce that number to 25,000. The change was ordered in a memorandum signed by national security advisor Robert O’Brien and had been in the works for months under the direction of Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Mark Milley.

Merkel and her cohorts have been bad actors inside NATO for far too long, and considering Merkel specifically has been less than cordial to the president, I have neither sympathy or empathy for her or her country.

The Trump administration has clashed with Germany several times over a number of issues related to security and defense. The president has repeatedly said that NATO members like Germany should contribute more money to the defense organization, although Germany has rejected these claims.

Of course they rejected it, because even a cursory glance at Germany’s past will show you their number one priority has always been Germany. They expect the United States to pick up the slack while many of them trash us behind our backs. No longer. Start carrying your share of the load, and maybe we’ll come back. Until then, Germany is on their own.

History Is Repeating

ROSER 1

Nearly ninety years after Adolf Hitler rose to power in Germany, the Fatherland is following in the Fuhrer’s despicable footsteps.

Germany’s government commissioner on anti-Semitism has warned Jews about the potential dangers of wearing the traditional kippah cap in the face of rising anti-Jewish attacks.

“I cannot advise Jews to wear the Kippah everywhere all the time in Germany,” Felix Klein said in an interview published Saturday by the Funke regional press group.

Hmm, I wonder if the mass migration of Islamists into the country has anything to do with this?

His comments came just weeks after Berlin’s top legal expert on anti-semitism said the issue remains entrenched in German society.

“Anti-Semitism has always been here. But I think that recently, it has again become louder, more aggressive and flagrant,” Claudia Vanoni told AFP in an interview, adding the problem was “deeply rooted” in German society.

It would be prudent for German Jews to start thinking about leaving the country before it’s too late. I am not exaggerating for effect. If Jewish people do not see the train coming down the tracks, they better begin opening their eyes.

Anti-Semitic crimes rose 20 percent in Germany last year, according to interior ministry data which blamed nine out of ten cases on the extreme right.

Oh, and for the record, Germany’s “right-wing” in not the so-called American right-wing. It’s similar to Hitler’s right-wing, which was actually comprised of socialists, criminals, and thugs.

The Fall Of The German Empire

Move over, Britain. Step aside, France. A new world power is ready to destroy itself at the hands of the radical left. Deutschland, we hardly knew ye.

A park in Berlin has designated areas for drug dealers to do business.

The manager of Görlitzer Park in the Kreuzburg area of Berlin spray painted pink poxes on the ground to indicate areas where dealers will be allowed to operate.

Police have repeatedly made failed attempts to push the drug sellers out of the park, and implemented a zero tolerance policy for drug dealers, but it hasn’t worked. So the park manager took matters into his own hands, with the hopes of keeping dealers that might intimidate visitors away from the park entrance.

Wow, Adolf Hitler must be turning over in his warm, cozy Argentinian bed.

Oktobertheft

Two German men have been convicted of multiple thefts over a period of several months. The thefts, however, were not exactly items you could bring to the local pawn shop.

Two men in Germany have been convicted of stealing more than 100 portable toilets. The dpa news agency reported the Duesseldorf district court delivered its verdict Tuesday, giving a 40-year-old man a 10-month suspended sentence and a 28-year-old ex-colleague six months.

Both men worked for a waste disposal company from whose premises the toilets — worth nearly 70,000 euros ($79,700) in all — gradually disappeared, a loss that was only discovered a few months later.

The men admitted having sold the toilets to a company in the Netherlands via a go-between.

These two men had a really good gig going, and they simply pissed it away.

Your Olympic Babe O’ The Day

Today;s babe is the pride of Deutschland; German alpine skier Christina Geiger.

Christina Geiger (born February 6, 1990 in Oberstdorf) is a German ski racer. She belongs to the B-squad of the German Ski Association and specializes in the technical disciplines of slalom and giant slalom.

In 2017, Geiger was scanned for the March issue of the men’s magazine Playboy.

*Quickly scours teh interwebz for her photos* There are more photos below the fold…

Continue reading “Your Olympic Babe O’ The Day”

The Pourth Reich

Say what you want about ze Germans, but they know their tanks and they know their beer.

A FULL, STANDARD KEG OF beer weighs just over 160 pounds and is pretty unwieldy. So the folks at the Wacken Open Air music festival in Wacken, Germany, are sick of schlepping them across fields every year, and decided to do something about it. Soon they’ll be able to pour 105,000 gallons of beer at stands around the festival grounds thanks to four miles of underground piping.

Music fans at the heavy metal festival are a thirsty bunch. According to Deutsche Welle, the 75,000 attendees each drink, on average, more than a gallon of beer over the course of the festival’s three days. Keeping up with that demand has been a struggle in past years. The new pipeline will provide enough pressure to pour six beers in six seconds.

Only six beers in six seconds? Well, that’s pretty good… I guess.

While we’re at it, I want to remind everyone tonight is Amateur Night at the bars. Everyone and their mothers will be out drinking – and driving. If you’re on the road, be mindful of your surroundings. If you’re at the bar, assign a designated driver.

Caption Contest Winners

The A Lovin’ Spoonful Caption Contest has concluded.

Top Five Entries:
5. “I thought you said sauerkraut, not Sour Kraut.” – Jim
4. “Ha Ha Ha! You voted for the Hilbag, you drink her pee.” – Cathy
3. “It tastes like Hillary’s armpit smells!” – Mike AKA Proof
2. “Ach du lieber! This stew needs more Jew!” – J-Dub

WINNER! – “Tastes like the diarrhea of Anne Frank…” – Sully