“He Died Doing Who He Loved”

An Italian playboy passed away last week while shtupping a woman one-third his age.

A famous Italian playboy who slept with thousands of women has died aged 63 while having sex with a 23-year-old tourist. Maurizio Zanfanti, dubbed the ‘Romeo of Rimini’, was getting intimate with the woman when he had a heart attack.

Realising something was seriously wrong, the Romanian tourist alerted the emergency services, but the nightclub manager could not be saved.

Also known as ‘Zanza’, he died on Tuesday night “after doing what he did best – loving women”, the Italian newspaper Il Resto Del Carlino reported.

Imagine being 63 and banging 23-year old. I mean, where would one even begin? In tribute to Maurizio, all Italian men’s penises will be set at half-mast.

A Dark Day For The Galaxy

Carrie Fisher, my all-time favorite actress (and the boyhood crush of every red-blooded American male my age) has passed away. She was only 60 years old.

Carrie Fisher, the actress best known as Star Wars‘ Princess Leia Organa, has died after suffering a heart attack. She was 60.

Family spokesman Simon Halls released a statement to PEOPLE on behalf of Fisher’s daughter, Billie Lourd:

“It is with a very deep sadness that Billie Lourd confirms that her beloved mother Carrie Fisher passed away at 8:55 this morning,” reads the statement.

Ironically, I heard the news as I walked in the front door after taking Erik and Kevin to see Rogue One. Fisher was the one Hollywood actress who could do no wrong in my eyes. I didn’t care about her drug abuse, I didn’t care about her politics, I loved her unconditionally. She was always Princess Leia to me, and barring that, at least the Mystery Woman from The Blues Brothers.

Fisher was the most beautiful actress I ever laid eyes on, and I was happy to see her again in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I will miss her terribly.

Honestly, I felt as if lost a family member. I guess that makes me insane, but that’s how I feel.

To respect Carrie’s passing, there will be no more posts today. Rest in peace, Princess.

UPDATE: Carrie’s mother, Debbie Reynolds, died today after suffering a massive stroke. God bless and keep them both.