The Dog Days Of Bummer

Meet Nicole Holland of Fulton, New York. Nicole is a bored housewife looking for some excitement, so she allegedly decided to give her Doberman Pinscher a plate of delicious heroin. S-M-R-T.

According to police, Nicole Holland, 26, was arrested yesterday on a misdemeanor charge in connection with the death of the dog, a miniature Doberman Pinscher named “Champ” who weighed about two pounds when it died last month.

A necropsy determined the puppy died from opioid intoxication, according to the New York State Police.

I’m sure Holland is devastated after allegedly murdering her dog.

Investigators allege that Holland, who lives in Fulton, a city 30 miles north of Syracuse, left a plate containing heroin on the floor of her home. After watching the puppy lick up some of the drug, Holland subsequently snorted the remaining heroin through a straw.

Holland, a mother of two young children, was not charged with any narcotics counts since her heroin use was not witnessed.

Honestly, I think Holland’s bigger problem is the five-head she has going on in that photo.

Florida Is Full Of Boobs

An Alabama woman decided to escape her state to enjoy the pageantry of scenic, majestic Florida. Apparently it doesn’t take long for people to come down with the Flori-duh Fever.

On Oct. 2 a Crestview Police officer spotted a white Mustang with a tag that was about two weeks past due and pulled over the driver, a 40-year-old woman from McCalla, Alabama. A records check revealed the driver was wanted in Walton County on an outstanding warrant.

The officer restrained the woman and before searching her and her car, asked if she had any weapons or something that could cause harm. Just in her purse and her bra, she replied. But when the officer searched her purse he found needles, a white, crystal-like substance that turned out to be methamphetamines, and a gray power with a spoon. The gray powder field-tested positive for heroin.

A small envelope hidden inside the woman’s bra contained meth.

Thank Vishnu the envelope didn’t tear, or that woman’s nipples would have been seeing double rainbows all the way across the sky.

Save The Whales Junkies

tyrone-biiggums-peanut-butter-and-crack-sandwich

Donald Trump has not even been sworn in yet, and the liberals’ Trump Derangement Syndrome is already skyrocketing. Their latest round of scaremongering focuses on the repeal of Obamacare. Specifically, if Obamacare is repealed, it will be harder for addicts to get their fix.

Pennsylvania ranks among the highest in the nation in opioid overdose-related deaths and prescribing rates. Nationwide, the study estimates that more than 4 million Americans with serious mental illness or substance use disorders would lose some or all of their insurance coverage.

From Philadelphia to Scranton to Pittsburgh, the opioid epidemic is devastating families throughout Pennsylvania. In fact, we are in the midst of the worst overdose epidemic ever, with the State ranking third in the country for drug related deaths. Mothers, fathers, and children are losing their lives to addiction, but Congress’s plans to repeal the ACA without a replacement would leave them in the cold, without access to the treatment they need. (H/T – Kevin)

Philadelphia is suffering through an overdose epidemic, and Obamacare is the law of the land. I fail to see how its repeal would make things worse. It’s not like most junkies read the Philadelphia Inquirer; although they probably use it to catch any spilled heroin.

Personally, I place the financial stability of the American people over the some addict’s mood enhancers.