What Happened? Booze Happened

Hillary Clinton, a woman who will never be president, had to put her – awful – book tour on hold after she allegedly fell UP the steps.

Hillary Clinton hobbled away from filming a British TV show interview on crutches Monday after breaking her toe falling down some stairs.

The former presidential candidate arrived wearing a surgical boot to the BBC program The Graham Norton Show, as she revealed she took a tumble in high heels while holding a cup of coffee. The embarrassing fall forced her to pull out of a series of scheduled TV and radio appearances earlier today including ITV’s This Morning and Woman’s Hour on Radio 4.

She said: ‘I was running down the stairs in heels with a cup of coffee in hand, I was talking over my shoulder and my heel caught and I fell backwards.’

Wait a minute; she was running down the stairs, her heel caught, and she fell backwards? Does that make sense to anyone who hasn’t been drinking Chivas Regal all day?

What Granny McDrinksalot meant to say was, “Secret Service agents were dragging my flabby carcass down the stairs with a cup of rum on hand, I was drooling into the cup, and my tail caught and I fell backwards into Huma Abedin’s pink parts.”

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Harvey Whore-Man

Infamous Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein has been accused of sexual harassment by dozens of alleged victims. In response, many Democrat fanboys and girls have distanced themselves from the pervert, with the exception of two notable politicians.

Many Democratic office holders were quick to repudiate disgraced Hollywood executive Harvey Weinstein following a bombshell report detailing decades of alleged sexual harassment.

But former Democratic Presidents Barack Obama and Bill Clinton, as well as former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton — all of whom have longstanding ties to Weinstein, a major Democratic Party fundraiser — have not publicly addressed the accusations.

Representatives for the Clintons have not responded to comment for this story, and Obama’s office declined to comment.

Well, in fairness, the Obamas and Clintons already received their millions from Weinstein, so it would be rude to disavow him publicly.

Imagine CNN’s uproar if Weinstein was a huge Republican donor and President Trump refused to disavow him. It would be the top story on every media outlet on Earth. Weinstein is a huge Democrat donor, and it took days for most media outlets to even acknowledge the story, let alone report on it.

Caption Contest Winners

The Good Book Caption Contest has concluded.

Top Five Entries:
5. Better fantasy than “Lord Of The Rings” or “Harry Potter” kids! Buy it today! – William
4. “Not for deplorables” – Kevin
3. “What Happened”? I inhaled. – Mike AKA Proof
2. Now with 50% more bullshit! – Toothy

WINNER! – “I am woman, hear me bitch, buy my book, make me rich!” – TXNick

Weekend Caption Contest

The Good Book Caption Contest
(Source: Reuters)

Caption this photo in the comments section. The winners will be posted Monday, September 18th.

Original Caption: Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton arrives for a signing of her new book ‘What happened’ at Barnes & Noble bookstore at Union Square in Manhattan, New York City, U.S., September 12, 2017. REUTERS/Andrew Kelly

What Happened? She Happened.

More excerpts from Hillary Clinton’s book have just been released, and get this, she is still blaming other peoplemostly men – for her epic election loss.

“Joe Biden said the Democratic Party in 2016 ‘did not talk about what it always stood for — and that was how to maintain a burgeoning middle class,'” Clinton said in her new book, “What Happened,” which was obtained by CNN.

“I find this fairly remarkable, considering that Joe himself campaigned for me all over the Midwest and talked plenty about the middle class,” she continued.

Yes he did, but he also 1. has brain damage, and 2. expected your lazy ass to do your fair share and talk about the middle class as well.

Clinton offers frank assessments of former FBI Director James Comey and Russian President Vladimir Putin for their actions during the campaign.

The former nominee even points at former President Barack Obama, saying he could have put out a stronger response to Russia’s efforts to influence the outcome of the election. And she is critical of Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), who she defeated in a tough Democratic primary.

This woman has never taken responsibility for her many failures and mistakes. It has always been someone else’s fault. This is what happened, Hillary. This is why you lost, and this is why you will never be president.

The FBI Is Corrupt To The Core

Former FBI Director James Comey made the decision to clear Hillary Clinton of any wrongdoing weeks before her home server investigation had finished. In short, the “investigation” was nothing of the sort.

According to new transcripts released by the Senate Judiciary Committee, former FBI Director James Comey made the decision not to refer then Democrat presidential candidate Hillary Clinton for prosecution long before ever interviewing key witnesses. Members of the Committee allege Comey made the decision months before FBI agents were finished with the criminal investigation into her mishandling of classified information during her time as Secretary of State.

President Trump’s decision to fire this corrupt bureaucrat was the right one, and his reward for draining this part of the swamp was the ensuing “OMG TRUMP-RUSSIA!” witch hunt.

According to the letter and an ongoing investigation into the matter, Comey started drafting a statement exonerating Clinton in April or May of 2016. At this point, he had not interviewed Clinton herself or her closest aides. This included Bryan Pagliano, who set up the personal server where Clinton hosted and shared top secret information, and Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills, who was granted immunity. On July 5, 2016, Comey made his public statement that the FBI would not be referring Clinton to the Department of Justice for prosecution.

The Clinton investigation needs to be reopened immediately, and a separate investigation into James Comey’s actions must be convened. Similarly, the “OMG TRUMP-RUSSIA!” nonsense needs to end. None of these show trials were ever created to find the truth; they were formed to cover people’s asses.

Wishin’ Creep

Hillary Clinton is out with a new book; one explaining “What Happened” during the 2016 presidential election, where she was spanked by Donald Trump. Surprisingly, she blames everyone but herself for the drubbing.

In the first excerpts from Hillary Clinton’s highly anticipated upcoming memoir, the former Democratic presidential candidate said her “skin crawled” during a debate with Donald Trump.

“My skin crawled,” Clinton said. “It was one of those moments where you wish you could hit pause and ask everyone ‘well, what would you do?'”

Clinton said during the debate she decided against telling Trump, “back up, you creep, get away from me,” and in order to keep her composure, she gripped the microphone “extra hard.”

Sure you did, honey. You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you. They just didn’t want you anywhere near the Oval Office.

Hack And Black

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, your prayers have been answered. The two greatest politicians in American history will be teaming up to help Democratic candidates during the midterm elections.

Former President Barack Obama and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton are working on plans to campaign for Democrats in 2018, and Democrats worry they plan to change the direction of the Party. Aides to Obama told The Hill’s Amie Parnes he is looking to resurface on the national campaign stage. Parnes also reported Clinton is trying to sort out what role she might play in the midterms.

Although the pair bring a lot of fundraising firepower to a very crowded field of needy Democratic candidates, party insiders worry about who would control the party if either past candidate became too influential.

Thank. You. Jesus! Pairing Obama and Hillary together is a godsend. A feckless, pantywaist former president, and a mentally ill, compulsive liar whining about President Trump is a surefire way to ensure the GOP keeps both the Senate and the House.

Caption Contest Winners

The Harlem Ache Caption Contest has now concluded.

Top Five Entries:
5. “The pods for Bill and Hillary were in the last place she’d look for them…the kitchen!” – Mike AKA Proof
4. “Why yes, Bill and I do grow our own “herbs” just like you.” – Metoo
3. “This is not the White House I was promised.” – Cathy
2. “Yes, this is a very nice home (whispers to aid: find out who set this up), yes, nice plants (whispers to aid: NOW!) yes, nice kitchen (whispers: you got the name? good, set up an Arkancide!!!)” – MelP

WINNER! – WHAT HAPPENED??????? – DocRambo