A Million Stories In The Naked City

A group of leftist Hollywood a-holes have come together for a “naked ballot” campaign, where they remove their clothes to make a point about mail-in ballots. Or something.

Mark Ruffalo, Naomi Campbell, Chelsea Handler and more celebrities went nude for a campaign encouraging mail-in voters to be vigilant about ballot rules.

The Hollywood A-listers stripped down in next to nothing as a way to bring attention to “naked” ballots.

I’m sorry, but in what universe are any of those three classified as “Hollywood A-Listers?”

They referenced Pennsylvania as an example of how ballots can become void. In the state, a voter must seal their mail-in ballot in a secrecy envelope and the return envelope for it to count. Ballots without the secrecy envelope are considered “naked” and deemed invalid.

Oh, don’t worry; the PA Supreme Court is all in on counting every ballot, even it it’s days late. The good news is the people going naked for the campaign are all people who you’ve wanted to see nude…

In addition to Ruffalo, 52, Campbell, 50, and Handler, 45, Tiffany Haddish, Amy Schumer, Sarah Silverman, Ryan Michelle Bathe, Josh Gad, Chris Rock, and Sacha Baron Cohen as his character, Borat, participated in the initiative.

There are literally no one on that list I would ever want to see without a hat, let alone without a shirt or pants. Ugh, is it possible for the mind to vomit?

Defund Hollywood

Believe me, I am painfully aware you are sick and tired of reading defund the police stories, but this report is more infuriating than most.

Hollywood hates you. I mean, they hate me much more, but despite all the cutesy talk show interviews and their “heartfelt” commercials for charity, these people care only about themselves. They certainly couldn’t give a rat’s ass about your safety.

More than a dozen of the world’s most famous celebrities are financing left-wing organizations that openly seek the defunding of America’s police departments, a Daily Caller News Foundation review found.

Actors, models and singers have donated large sums to left-wing organizations including Color of Change, Black Lives Matter Global Network and the Movement for Black Lives, all of which are open about their desire to defund police departments across the country.

To be brutally honest, I’m going to stop caring about this the second I sign my papers. I’ll coast the last few years, retire, then flee this city so fast it’ll rip your pants.

“Policing is a violent institution that must end. We imagine a country where there is enough money to educate our children, care for our sick and feed those who are financially unstable. Defunding the police allows for this vision,” Color of Change President Rashad Robinson said after the Minneapolis City Council voted to “dismantle” the city’s police department.

To be honest, I couldn’t agree more, Rashad. Remember that the next time you’re a victim of crime. Don’t call us. Call Leonardo DiCaprio, you prick.

Obviously, you folks can spend your money any way you like; that’s the beauty of America. Still, I wanted to highlight the names of these assholes who want to dismantle your police departments…

Jennifer Aniston, Justin Bieber, WWE wrestler John Cena, some whore named Olivia Culpo, Ellen DeGeneres, Leonardo DiCaprio, Lady Gaga, Anna Kendrick, Brad Pitt and a few other people you never heard of.

These no-talent “entertainers” would gladly eliminate your local police departments, because why not? They can afford private security. What the hell do they care if you get robbed or assaulted?

Fuck these people. Seriously.