True Detective Stories

For the record, I am desperately trying to move away from the Floyd Riots, the Defund the Police movement, and the other nonsense which is occupying the left. Luckily, I am surrounded by morons every day, and I do not highlight their idiocy enough.

Remember Diego the Idiot Detective? He’s been profiled here more than a few times, and is quite literally the dumbest human I have ever met. When it comes to “Carrying the Stupids,” he’s the one I most often have to lift.

Diego outshined himself twice this weekend, while simultaneously proving the detective’s exam also needs a psychological evaluation attached…

Continue reading “True Detective Stories”

Never Bring A Knife To A Chainsaw Fight

Meet Sasha Joy Anderson and Christopher William Darmofal of South Range, Michigan. Sasha and Chris crave excitement, and nothing excites them more than a home invasion during a virus pandemic.

Forty-year-old Sasha Joy Anderson of South Range and 32-year-old Christopher William Darmofal of Warren were arraigned Monday morning in Houghton County District Court.

The Houghton County Sheriff’s Office says around 4:00 a.m. Saturday in South Range, Darmofal pulled a knife on a man inside his home. The man defended himself with a chainsaw, and Darmofal and Anderson ran away. Deputies found them at another home in South Range.

First-degree home invasion is a felony with a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison. Darmofal is also charged with carrying a concealed weapon, felonious assault and malicious destruction of personal property.

There is no word whether the chainsaw was an attachment on the homeowner’s AR-15.

The Devil Came Down To Virginia

A Virginia family spent their first night in their new home battling a strung-out woman with blue hair. Wow, the Welcome Committees in the south go a little overboard.

A female suspect who was naked and with blue hair in a ponytail broke into the family’s home and refused to leave, telling them: “I’m the devil,” WRIC reported.

The dad of the family fired 39 “warning shots” at the intruder, but she was undeterred. A brawl broke out between the woman and the family – including the 12-year-old son.

Instead of reloading your pistol three times, maybe just shoot her in the face and be done with it?

Punches and furniture were reportedly thrown about. The fight ended after the 12-year-old shoved a wrench into the intruder’s neck.

Wow, that’s awesome! If nothing else, the 12-year old should be living off PlayStation, candy, and ice cream for the next few months.