Would You Like Paper Of Plastic?

While you may think this post would need a build-up, trust me when I tell you, this one needs no introduction. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the dumbest woman on the face of the Earth.

Because poor decision making knows no bounds, this is a video from a Kroger gas station of a woman who, presumably wanting to make the most of her Kroger Fuel Points discount, decides to fill up a plastic bag with gas and put it in her trunk. I thought the double bagging was a nice touch, as well as the person just filming and not saying anything. Still, gasoline in plastic bags, that’s just…wow.

The only terrible part of this story is the woman apparently made it home without her vehicle bursting into flames.

The video of this idiot can be seen below the fold…

Continue reading “Would You Like Paper Of Plastic?”

Don’t Mess With Texas (Grandmoms)

A grandmother issued Texas justice on a masturbating cyclist this week. Wow, that’s a phrase I never thought I’d type… about someone else.

A woman opened fired on a masturbating man trying to break into her southeast Houston home Tuesday afternoon, police said.

The woman, in her sixties, was taking out her trash when she spotted the man – riding his bike – masturbating, according to Houston Police Department Lt. Larry Crowson. She yelled at him to stop the lewd act but he persisted.

Just like Elizabeth Warren.

The man eventually followed the woman to her front door after she went inside and allegedly tried to break in. The woman ordered the man to go away and even told him she had a gun.

When the man refused to stop, she fired one round through her front door, striking the man in his chest. He immediately ran back to his bike and managed to pedal a few feet away from the house before collapsing.

Sadly, this thing is expected to survive, but his masturbating days are probably over.

They’re Da Bomb

bombshells-restaurant-and-barNo, I am not talking about radical Islamists. Or am I? No, I am talking about Bombshells, a restaurant/bar in Houston, Texas.

Bombshells’ management wants to pop out toward every peak and valley across the USA, but don’t let the brood of boobs fool you; Bombshells is not a “Breastaurant.”

Uh-huh.

Bombshells wants to bust out. Management of the four-unit Houston-based restaurant and bar wants to take its military-themed concept — and its scantily clad waitresses and ice-cold beer — on a cross-country tear that could result in as many as 100 new franchised locations opening in the next five years.

This is all good news for RCI brass — but don’t start referring to their Bombshells chain as just another so-called “breastaurant,” the name for a burger and beer joint with scantily clad waitresses, like Twin Peaks and Hooters.

“It is not a so-called ‘breastaurant,’ ” insisted spokesman Gary Fishman. (H/TSmite)

Then why would I bother going there; for the five-star cuisine and the fifty-year old scotch? No, I would go there because, as Pam Poovey would say, Bombshells is Nippletown.”

Teach Your Children Well

Alexandria Vera Texas

Meet Alexandria Vera. The smoking hot Houston teacher is ripe for the picking… if you happen to be a prepubescent boy. If you’re an attractive adult blogger recovering from surgery… not so much.

Alexandria Vera a 24 year old Houston, Texas middle school teacher is on the run after having being impregnated by her 13-year old student – with the blessing of his family.

Since charged with continuous sexual abuse of a child, the Stovall Middle School, English teacher shockingly told prosecutors of having sexually engaged with the young boy since September.

Now, as a red-blooded American male, I can’t say I blame this kid. I mean look at this hoor. She is perfect in every way… well, except for teh cray-cray.

Serious question: What the f**k is wrong with female teachers nowadays? They’re either batshit insane, sexual predators, or both.

There’s another photo below the fold, because I’m an enabler…

Continue reading “Teach Your Children Well”