Portland Man Just Trying To Get Ahead

Portland, Oregon is not only a haven for special snowflakes and angst-ridden musicians; it’s also home to a few batshit crazy psychopaths.

A man covered in blood, holding a knife and carrying a human head walked into an Estacada grocery store and stabbed an employee Sunday afternoon, according to the Clackamas County Sheriff’s Office.

Sunday’s grisly episode first came to light when the man walked into the Estacada Thriftway Harvest Market at around 2:15 p.m. Once inside the store, the suspect stabbed an employee, who was flown to a hospital, according to Sandy Police. That victim’s condition has not been released.

Give the man a break. He was just trying to get a head start on Memorial Day weekend. Don’t punish him because he’s a little too headstrong.