Shame Of Thrones

Meet Judith Streng of Flower Mound, Texas.

Judith was vacationing in Iceland for some reason, and decided to take a load off by sitting on what appeared to be an ice throne. Hilarity Stupidity ensued.

Judith Streng was touring Iceland’s Jökulsárlón Lagoon with her son Rob, when they noticed a large chunk of ice sitting on the beach that resembled an ice throne. Streng couldn’t pass up the opportunity to jump on for a photo.

But moments after she smiled for the camera, a wave broke the ice loose from the shore, and Streng, along with the ice, began drifting out to sea.

“It was shaped like an easy place to sit… I thought that looks like fun,” Streng told Good Morning America. “When I got on it, it started to totter and a wave was coming in, a very large wave came in and made the throne kind of rock and I could tell I was slipping off.

The Icelandic Coast Guard saved Judith, but during the rescue, more than three dozen radical Islamic refugees flooded country’s shores.

Sunday Services

In case you haven’t noticed, and judging by my audience, you haven’t, the World Cup is underway in Russia. We here at the Earp Ranch are watching with great interest. Kyle is cheering for Brazil, Erik for Argentina, and the rest of us for Germany. I figured it’s appropriate to feature some of the players competing in the tournament.

Birkir Bjarnason (above) is a midfielder from Iceland, who also plays for Aston Villa in England. Britain’s Daily Mail deemed him “the world’s hottest Viking.”

Next up is Ramadan Sobhi of Egypt. When the midfielder isn’t playing for his national team, he plays for Huddersfield Town in England’s Premier League. As you can see, Ramadan takes very good care of himself.

Finally, we have Swiss goaltender Yann Sommer. Yann is representing a very good Swiss team in Russia, and also plays for Borussia Mönchengladbach in the German Bundesliga.

The services have ended. You may now go in peace.

The Duke Of Björk

While I am not a citizen of Iceland, I desperately want to vote in their next presidential election; specifically for incumbent Guðni Th. Jóhannesson.

The president of Iceland, Guðni Th. Jóhannesson, threw a political bombshell into one of the national conversation today when he took sides in one of the more contentious debates of our times: The “pineapple as a pizza topping” debate.

Today Guðni visited a high school in the town of Akureyri in North Iceland. The local news site Vísir reports that at the end of his visit Guðni took questions from students. Guðni answered questions about various personal things. He was then asked about his opinion about pineapples as a pizza topping. Guðni answered that he was fundamentally opposed to putting pineapple on top of a pizza.

Then he went one step further, announcing that he would pass a ban on pineapple as a pizza topping if he had the power to pass laws on his own.

Personally, I believe anyone who puts fruit on a pizza – especially pineapple – should be charged with a war crime and be forced to appear at The Hague. In shackles.