The day began when an off-duty supervisor decided to drive around the division looking for crimes to solve. Mind you, this dolt was on his day off, but he’s one of those super cops who thinks he’s going to save the world. He was investigating the theft of an ATM from the previous evening, and decided he found one of the people responsible for the theft. There was actually no evidence of this, but hey, since he’s a boss he could just send them to us.
Last night we had five detectives on the floor. Before this supervisor’s shenanigans, we already had a firearms arrest, a domestic assault where a pistol was involved, a stolen gun report, and a commercial robbery. The supervisor wanted us to drop all these actual jobs, and work solely on his nonsense. Thankfully, we avoided that, and one of the detectives interviewed this woman.
After a quick interview, we left the woman in the interrogation room as we waited for the officers to take her back downstairs. When the detective opened the door, the woman had her pants around her ankles, and she urinated all over the floor. While the other detectives were screaming at her for being an animal, my job was to break out the mop.
I mean, if you haven’t mopped up adult urine, have you ever really lived?
In the meantime, Diego the Idiot Detective had the gun-pointing domestic assault. Instead of taking the interview and helping us with the dozens of real jobs we had piling up, he spent his entire evening working on this one insignificant assignment. There wasn’t even any proof there was a gun involved; it was all hearsay. But hey, Diego gonna Diego.
The rest of the evening was a blur. We handled two more firearms arrests, a stolen U-Haul truck which was filled with dozens of computers, a couple domestic incidents and a robbery or two. Most of which were from one district – the worst district in the city – and the district with the dumbest police officers by far. Most of these clowns make Diego look like a MENSA candidate.
Oh well, at least the next two weeks will be fun. No idiot cops, no stupid phone questions, and no Diego.