True Detective Stories

So the other day I’m sitting at my desk minding my own business when the phone rings. Like an idiot, I pick up the phone and say, “Detective Division, may I help you?” The woman on the other end started off with ignorance and scorn, so naturally I wanted to drop everything to help this caustic human.

Aunt Esther: “Yeah, what is the name of this person I am talking to?”
Me: “Detective Earp.”

Aunt Esther: “What is your first name?”
Me: “Wyatt. Is there something I can help you with, ma’am?”

Ironically, this “woman” liked dishing out bile but was not keen on receiving it.

Aunt Esther: “I want to know which one of you took my son’s cellphone.”
Me: “Well ma’am, there are a hundred detectives assigned here. Do you have a name of the person assigned to your son’s case?”

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