Ilhan Omar Should Move To Alabama*

There are obviously more important stories to post about, but the story claiming Ilhan Omar married her brother seems to be legitimate. At least, sorta, kinda.

*I have nothing against Alabama, but I needed a state for a brother-marrying joke.

Minnesota Rep. Ilhan Omar has long been accused of marrying her brother to get around U.S. immigration laws (he should have just walked across the southern border). Now a DNA test, done surreptitiously, shows that there is a 99.999998% chance that Omar and her second husband, Ahmed Elmi, are siblings.

Chances Omar banged her brother? I’d give it an even 85%.

The DNA test was conducted after what the Daily Mail refers to as a “shadowy Republican group” apparently stalked Omar and her alleged husbro long enough to get a cigarette butt smoked by Omar, and a straw used by Elmi, now living in Kenya and spending time in Zanzibar.

The test was posted online by a Republican strategist from Minneapolis, Anton Lazzaro, on Wednesday. Twelve hours later, Lazzaro was arrested on federal sex trafficking charges. Weird timing, right?

The term “shadowy Republican group” is hysterical, even for the over-the-top U.K. Daily Mail. It is, however, interesting the man behind the DNA test was arrested twelve hours after the results were posted. Nothing shadowy there.

Omar’s spokesman, Jeremy Slevin, dismissed the report and threw some ‘tude at Lazzaro. “This is a fraudulent website created by a man charged this week with child sex trafficking and lying to federal investigators to cover it up,” he said.

Omar has been long accused of marrying her brother so that he could get a green card and study in the U.S., which he did, with Omar at North Dakota State University. Omar was married at the time to her first husband. The three adults lived together for a while, with Omar’s two kids.

The good news is Omar finally divorced her brother, and then began shtupping her aide, while funneling money to his shadowy Democratic group. There is no word on whether the aide is also her brother.