Putin’s Next Ship Will Be The S.S. Minnow

Say what you like about the Italians, but if nothing else, they have a giant set of balls. Italian police seized Vladimir Putin’s superyacht shortly before it was about to flee the country.

A giant superyacht said to be owned by Vladimir Putin was set to be seized by Italian authorities after they recommended it be impounded as part of sanctions against Russia.

Authorities in Italy said the $700 million The Scheherazade, which is more than 450ft long, and boasts spas, swimming pools and two helicopter pads was connected to a ‘significant person’ but did not name them.

The Italians are holding the yacht for the foreseeable future. Hopefully until Putin ends this war.

The yacht has been the subject of an investigation by the Italian financial police since the end of March and has been in dock at Marina di Carrara near Pisa since September undergoing a refit.

The late night announcement came after fears grew that The Scheherazde was about to slip away and head to international waters and avoid any possible sanctions.

Almost slipped away, huh Putin? While I respect the Italians for holding the yacht, I would respect them more if they scuttled the yacht in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea.

Feel-Good Friday

Well, this story takes the cake.

In 1945, American GIs swiped a birthday cake which was cooling on a windowsill. The cake belonged to thirteen-year old Meri Mion, who was celebrating her birthday. Seventy-seven years later, the Army made up for the incident.

In 1945, American GIs stole a birthday cake from a 13-year old Italian girl while they were embattled with Nazi occupiers

77 years later, the Department of Defense found room in the budget to include a replacement birthday cake for Meri Mion at a ceremony held in the city of Vicenza’s Salvi Gardens.

Americans are well-liked in parts of Italy that saw conflict during WWII—they arrived there before all other parts of Europe. However in 1945, some presumably-hungry soldiers took Meri Mion’s birthday cake, baked by her mom for her special day, while fighting was taking place in the village of San Pietro in Gu.

The DoD included video of soldiers and onlookers singing Happy Birthday to you and Tanti Auguri a te to Meri Mion—who struggled to wipe away the tears.

Yeah, it was a scumbag move to swipe a thirteen-year old’s birthday cake, but making up for it certainly gives the U.S. Army some style points.

You can see the video at the link, but you’ll need tissues afterward.

Feed Them To The Lions?

The citizens of Italy have signed a petition to legalize euthanasia in their country, due to the fact the population is getting older. This may be the most disgusting story I have read in ages, especially since Rome used to be the cradle of Christianity.

Over 750,000 Italians have signed a petition for a public referendum on legalizing euthanasia, guaranteeing its presence in the next national elections, local media reported this week.

The three-quarters of a million signatures collected so far comfortably surpass the 500,000 needed to force an Italian referendum on the issue, and observers suggest the referendum could be voted on as early as next year.

Italy, which has the oldest population of any country in Europe and the second oldest population in the entire world, may soon legalize an escape chute for those wishing to unburden family members or the state. Even for those who do not wish it, the pressure to “do the right thing” will be substantial.

So not only will Italians vote for this measure, but they will also allow forced euthanasia. It’s obvious the European continent is dying, but I never expected them to be slaughtering their own people.

Your Olympic Babe O’ The Day

Meet Elena Bertocchi.

Elena is a 26-year old diver from Milan, Italy, and has had success in the European Aquatic Championships, winning the gold in May. This is her first time at Olympic Games.

Elena Bertocchi (born 19 September 1994) is an Italian diver. She competed at the 2015 World Aquatics Championships. She also qualified for the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo.

After earning bronze in the women’s 1m springboard at Euros in both 2016 and 2018, Italy’s Elena Bertocchi soared to gold in the diving event at the European Aquatics Championships, edging Michelle Heimberg of Switzerland and Bertocchi’s Italian teammate, Chiara Pellacani.

Elena is an up-and-coming diver, but did not medal in Tokyo. She and her partner finished seventh, only beating the U.S. divers. She would, however, earn a medal in the looks department.

There are more photos below the fold…

Continue reading “Your Olympic Babe O’ The Day”

An American Werewolf In Italy

A 64-year old American man was arrested in Sicily after his private jet was checked for contraband. Unfortunately for the American, police found weapons and narcotics.

Patrick Joseph Horan, 64, told police he was visiting relatives on the Italian island when he landed on Friday, according to news agency Ansa.

But a check carried out on the aircraft was said to have uncovered guns, bows and arrows and 1kg (35oz) of marijuana.

You’d think Sicily would be more amenable to such items. Have movies been lying to me all this time?

The items were reportedly seized and Mr Horan was taken away for questioning. They said weapons – including two pistols, a rifle and ammunition – had been placed in boxes while the drugs were sealed in plastic bags and water bottles.

Sadly, the guns and drugs disappeared shortly after being placed into the property room. The security cameras allegedly overheard a husky voice say, “Yeah, you didn’t see nothin’.”

Viva l’Italia!

Not all heroes wear capes.

Pr0nHub, the world’s largest nudie site, is offering free premium service for Italians stuck home during the coronavirus quarantines.

Pornhub is offering free access to its premium service to people who live in Italy until April 3.

In a press release shared on Thursday, the site revealed it’ll donate proceeds from the Modelhub platform after the European country implemented a nationwide lockdown due to the coronavirus outbreak.

The announcement reads: ‘Forza Italia, We love you! PornHub has decided to donate its percentage revenue from ModelHub platform from March to help Italy during the outbreak. To help you during these weeks at home, for the whole months you can access PornHub Premium free of charge, with no need of using your credit card’, Pornhub added.

Say what you will about the site and its content, you have to admire them for helping out those affected.

You Dropped A Bomb On Me

Wow, the United States military certainly holds a grudge. An unexploded World War II bomb was found near the Bolzano, Italy train station. Guys, you won; there’s no reason to spike the ball 75 years later!

Italian authorities evacuated 4,000 people from the center of the northern city of Bolzano on Sunday to defuse a World War II bomb found during construction.

Three experts defused the 500-pound American bomb during a three-hour operation that also forced 60,000 people to stay in their homes and closed sporting complexes and churches.

An alarm signaled the all-clear to reopen the city center just before noon, as well as a nearby north-south highway and rail line both connecting Italy with Austria and Germany.

The bomb was found close to the city’s central cathedral and not far from the train station — the likely wartime target — during excavation work for a new shopping center.

The Italian government has stated they are stopping all exports of wine and spaghetti in protest.

Caption Contest Winners

The My Statue Is Yuge! Caption Contest is now over.

Top Five Entries:
5. That horrid smell is Pelosi soiling her pretty silk pantys. – Cathy
4. Now we really know who the pythons were talking about when they were discussing Biggus Dickus. – MelP
3. “…And with my flaming sword, I officially open the Trump presidential library…” – Sully
2. Turns out this was the shot in the arm the Transformers franchise needed! – Mike AKA Proof

WINNER! – King Kong ain’t got shit on me! – Ingineer66

Fly The Taxpayer Skies

It’s a good thing the president canceled Nancy Pelosi’s junket to Eurasia, because sloppy choppers has a problem with spending other people’s money.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s congressional delegation (CODEL) to Belgium, Egypt and Afghanistan garnered extra attention after President Donald Trump banned her from using military aircraft, but the trip would not have been the first time she used Air Force money to travel the world.

Pelosi’s trip to Italy and Ukraine from July 30 to Aug. 6, 2015, cost the Air Force $184,587.81, according to documents released Saturday under a 2015 Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) lawsuit by Judicial Watch. Her delegation was made up of nine other members of Congress, including Democratic Reps. Anna Eshoo of California and Marcia Fudge of Ohio.

Four family members, including Pelosi’s husband Paul Pelosi, were on the trip. The delegation dined at restaurants including James Beard American Restaurant in Milan, where a five-course meal cost up to $190, according to Fine Dining Lovers. The lawmakers also toured the Vatican and met up with Italian dignitaries, including President Sergio Mattarella and then-Prime Minister Matteo Renzi, according to their itinerary.

I remember a day or so after Pelosi’s cancellation, the MSM lost their Shiite because the First Lady traveled to Florida. Now, I’m no accountant, but I’d wager a flight to Florida is vastly less expensive than one across Europe and Asia. Just sayin’.