Soccer: It’s A Pisser

An Italian soccer player has been banned for five games after showing his displeasure toward opposing fans in a most unique fashion.

And to think, I always thought Italians were calm, non-expressive types.

A footballer in Italy has been suspended for five matches for urinating towards opposition fans.

Giovanni Liberti of non-league Turris received the lengthy ban. During a stoppage in play in a 3-3 draw against Sarnese, Liberti ”urinated in the direction of the away section, making obscene and vulgar gestures, while showing his genital organ,” says the Serie D disciplinary body.

After the incident, the Coppa Italia league posted signs in the front rows reading, “Caution. Splash Area. You May Get Wet.”

Roam, Italy

monica-belluccci-the-matrixThe Italian congress has suggested a bill which will eliminate the promise of fidelity from marriage vows. I assume it is difficult to remain faithful when every one of your fellow citizens is gorgeous.

Married couples in Italy will no longer have to promise to be faithful to each other, if a new bill is approved. The proposed amendment to Italy’s Civil Code would remove the word “fidelity” from Italian marriage contracts.

The promise not to cheat is a “cultural legacy from an outdated and obsolete vision of marriage, family, and the rights and duties of spouses”, according to the senators who have signed the bill.

Suddenly I have a craving for tiramisu. I’m going to run out to the Milan 7-11… don’t wait up.

Italian Pageanteer Has The Hot Skinny

paola-torrente-italyMeet Paola Torrente.

This fat bastard finished second in the Miss Italy pageant, a performance which did not go over well with other contestants and their families, because she’s so morbidly obese.

Oh, I forgot beauty pageant contestants live in the backwards Bizarro World where hot curvy babes are labeled “fat.”

A Miss Italy contestant body shamed for being ‘too fat’ to be a beauty queen has hit back at her haters, saying: “I love myself for what I am.” Paola Torrente, who is a size 14, was ridiculed by other contestants and trolled on social media over her size after she came second in the competition.

The bitter mother of Miss Italy’s third place contestant Viviana Vogliacco was not so apologetic, having said a size 14 woman should “take part in the Plus Size Miss Italy contest” and not in the mainstream event. Even her highest profile critic, Croatian model Nina Moric, has apologised for saying she had “too much flesh” to share a stage with her skinnier compatriots.

What the f**k is wrong with people? Paola is smoking hot with a body I would caress with my hands – and tongue – for days on end. Plus size? Go f**k yourself. Sharing too much flesh? Dude, that’s a feature, not a bug!

Thankfully, Paola is above all the nonsense doled out by the galactically stupid:

Paola, 22, said: “I embrace my curves, and I’m never ashamed of them. There are many women that chose surgery to become more curvy. I want to tell young women to accept themselves and to understand that feeling good and being happy is the most powerful thing to fight people’s words and thoughts.” (H/T – Kevin)

I agree wholeheartedly, especially if it’ll get mu up close and personal with Paola.

In the interest of fair and balanced coverage, there are more photos below the fold.

Continue reading “Italian Pageanteer Has The Hot Skinny”

Render The Carrot Unto Caesar

choking-a-chickenCover yourself, Florence! An Italian high court has ruled playing with your Leaning Tower of Pisa in public is no longer a crime.

Italy’s highest court has ruled that masturbation in public is not a crime, as long as it is not conducted in the presence of minors.

Judges ruled that public masturbation out of the presence of minors is no longer deemed criminal conduct due to a change in the law last year, which decriminalized the act.

The new iteration of the criminal code does call for imprisonment – of up to four-and-a-half years – if the act is witnessed by a minor.

Considering the inordinate amount of fabulous babes in Italy, it seems odd the judicial system would allow men to bop their bologna in Bologna.

Your Olympic Babe O’ The Day

Federica Pellegrini Bikini

Italian women have always had the reputation of being extremely hot, and extremely sensual. In the case of Italian Olympic swimmer Federica Pellegrini, the reputation is confirmed.

Federica Pellegrini is a 28-year old Italian swimmer. A native of Mirano, in the province of Venice, she holds the women’s 200 m freestyle world records (long course and short course), and won a Gold Medal at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. At the 2009 World Championships in Rome, Pellegrini became the first woman ever to breach the 4 minute barrier in 400 m freestyle with the time 3:59.15.

Federica was conspicuously absent from her 100m Freestyle preliminary race. I sincerely hope she blew it off because she was letting some lucky guy practice the breaststroke.

Federica Pellegrini Swimming

It’s difficult to make a one-piece swimsuit look good, but Fede pulls it off. (I wish she literally would.)

Continue reading “Your Olympic Babe O’ The Day”

Buckle Up For Safety

Monica Bellucci The MatrixItaly, like France, is the land of love. You can’t swing a dead cat in that country without hitting a smokin’ hawt babe. And if you don’t have protection, no worries: she might.

A woman in Italy walked into a fire station last week because she had lost the key to her chastity belt and needed help removing it.

The 60-year-old initially told fire crews in the northern city of Padua that she needed help opening a padlock. When firefighters asked the woman where she lived, thinking she’d locked herself out of her house, she lifted her sweater and showed them the iron device.

Why the frak would a 60-year old need a chastity belt? You know who needs a chastity belt? Daughters of police officers. Get ready, Julia; I already have yours on back order.