Florida Man Set His Penis To Stun

Meet James Bundrick from Clearwater, Florida.

James is a Star Trek fan, and while he makes no bones about it, James’ actions rub some people the wrong way.

Clearwater police were called to a bus stop on Gulf to Bay Boulevard around 11:20 a.m. Monday for a report of a lewd and lascivious act.

Responding officers say they found a man sitting on a bench touching himself under his shorts. In an arrest report, police noted it was “obvious” the man was masturbating. When officers asked what he was doing, the man told them, “I’m scratching myself.”

The arrest report states the man told police his name was “James Tiberius Kirk,” the full name of the fictional character Captain Kirk from Star Trek.

Before his arrest, James held up one hand, spread his sticky fingers, and shouted, “Live long, and masturbate.”